Judge John Hodgman Episode 386: R and Arbitration

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Jeff brings the case against his girlfriend, Diana. He prefers to travel without a plan, leaving plenty of room for spontaneous adventures. Diana prefers to plan, leaving room for both adventure and some relaxation. They're planning their next trip and can't figure out what to do. Who's right? Who's wrong?

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Thank you to Alanna Talty for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 385: The JJHo Old Timey Newsreel

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They rule on disputes having to do with podcast listening speeds, the definition of "barbeque," whether or not "pretty good" is a compliment, wearing headphones while doing chores, moustaches and more!

EVIDENCE

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 384: Remodel Behavior

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Crystal brings the case against her husband Todd. She likes to do projects around their house. But she complains that when she's about halfway through a project, Todd tends to voice strong opinions that start to change the direction. She would like him to let her carry out her original vision, but Todd thinks that this is part of the process. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Megan Hodgkiss for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 383: Requesting an Immediate Ingestion

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Guests: 
Jean Grae

Matthew brings the case against his wife, Angie. In their family, it's the rule that they all remain at the dinner table until everyone is done eating. But, Angie is a notorious slow eater. Matthew says he is constantly entertaining their small children for too long, while she finishes her meal. But, Angie thinks he is exaggerating how bad it is. With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae!

EVIDENCE

Click HERE to check out Matthew's spreadsheet and box plot detailing the family's dinner finishing times.

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Thank you to Carol Sanchez for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 382: Classic Friendaround

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Guests: 
Jean Grae

Guest Bailiff Jean Grae returns to the court to help Judge John Hodgman clear the docket! They talk about party hosting responsibilities, dad jokes, pet names, keeping the bathroom door open and Hogwarts house sorting. Plus much, much more!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 381: Jerky Duty

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Adara brings the case against her friend, Bobby. They host a radio show together and Bobby likes to do fake celebrity phone calls on air. Adara thinks that while it’s sometimes funny, it’s not always successful. She would like him to limit his fake calls. Who's right? Who's wrong?

PLEASE NOTE: This episode makes a brief, glancing reference to the Predator movies. It was recorded weeks before recent news emerged about the problematic personnel decisions that took place in the production of newest Predator sequel.

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY ADARA:

Here are a few clips from the radio show, where Bobby does some impressions:

Dr. Oz

Robert Downey Jr

How fake calls have created problems (Bobby talking about baseball)

Justin Bieber

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Thank you to Adam Labonte for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 380: Don't Call the Next Witness

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Kirya brings the case against her mother, Tanja. Tanja hates talking on the phone. She doesn’t even have a phone anymore. But, Kirya is worried about Tanja’s safety and also wants to be able to call her. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Jack Mathews for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 379: Race Closed

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Keri brings the case against her boyfriend, Jim. Jim plays and streams car racing simulators. He’s developed an audience and has a bit of a following. But, Keri thinks all of this racing is cutting into their quality time. She would like to be able to plan more activities for them to do together, without worrying about his racing schedule.

EVIDENCE

Click here for the official NASCAR schedule that Keri sent in.

Here is the video of Jim waving at the camera during a race:

Here's the archived livestream video of Jim eating 13 ounces of cheese (CONTENT WARNING: mouth sounds/misphonia):

The Papa Jim's commercial:

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Thank you to Ian MacKechnie for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 378: Jerseyprudence

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Andrew brings the case against his dad, George. Andrew would like for George to come see him in Queens more often. But George says it’s too much of a trek from where he lives in New Jersey.

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Andrew Scales for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 377: Waffle House Arrest

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Guests: 
Maeve Higgins

Shenlyn brings the case against her husband, Martin. Shenlyn loves to go out for breakfast with family and friends, but Martin prefers breakfast at home. He thinks that he can cook breakfast at home better and for less money. She wishes he would participate in her breakfast outings. With Guest Bailiff Maeve Higgins!

You can find Maeve on Twitter @maevehiggins. Her book MAEVE IN AMERICA is out now wherever books are sold! You can listen to her podcast Mothers of Invention wherever you get your podcasts.

If you want to watch Judge John Hodgman's instructions on how to restore an old cast iron pan, check out his highlighted cast iron stories on Instagram! Follow him @johnhodgman, and while you're there you can follow the show at @judgejohnhodmgan!

EVIDENCE

Testimony from Shenlyn's mom:

I enjoy going out for breakfast with my daughter because it’s a relaxing time of the morning to sit, talk and share our feelings, ideas, and what we’ve been up to lately all while we are enjoying the goodies that we have chosen, out of all the other food that is offered at a breakfast cafe -- goodies that I would not normally have at home. Breakfast cafes also offer a wider choice of coffee types and toppings I would not have at home either. A good morning cup of coffee is such a relaxing experience that is more enjoyably spent drinking with my loved ones. These outings are special and memorable family times together.

Testimony from Martin's friend, Daniel:

Martin's eggs are perfectly cooked, with just the right amount of tenderness to the yolk. His gluten free toast is crisp yet doughy, and generously lavished with high quality butter. The greens come right from the garden which he painstakingly cares for like his third child. His plating is highly Instagram-able, often demanding upwards of 5 whole minutes of everyone taking pictures before we are ready to dive in. The condiments are abundant and perfectly paired to the meal. The teas he prepares (iced in the Summer, hot in the Winter) always result in an argument on the car ride home between my fiance and I as she requests I bring more to the arena in terms of domestic barista.

I've gotten so caught up with the extravagant food I almost forgot to mention the decor! Martin and Shenlyn's kitchen opens up to the living room with a view of the beautiful shimmering pool in the backyard. Whites and perfectly blended pastels complement the immaculate cast iron cookware and precisely ordered counters and drawers in the kitchen. Uplifting quotes hand painted by Shenlyn grace the walls. As their wonderful children run around playing we sit, enjoy, and feel at ease. We leave feeling happy and peaceful, and wondering why the rest of life's experiences can't be more like breakfast at the *LAST NAME REDACTED* household.

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Thank you to Gavin Pouliot for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 376: Nein Tense of the Law

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Guests: 
Maeve Higgins

Colleen brings the case against her husband, Kevin. They send their kids to a German language immersion school. Kevin has begun taking German language classes and wants to practice speaking it with the kids at home. But Colleen thinks that his terrible pronunciation will have adverse effects on the kids' learning. With Guest Bailiff Maeve Higgins!

You can find Maeve on Twitter @maevehiggins. Her book MAEVE IN AMERICA is out now wherever books are sold! You can listen to her podcast Mothers of Invention wherever you get your podcasts.

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out Kevin's evidence PowerPoint presentation.

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Thank you to Rob Waters for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 375: Swipe Right to Remain Silent

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Guests: 
Cristela Alonzo

Phillip brings the case against his girlfriend, Rachel. The two of them met on a dating app. Rachel wants to tell people they met another way, but Phillip thinks they should just be honest. With Guest Judge Cristela Alonzo!

We were thrilled to have Guest Judge Cristela join the court on this week's episode. You can find her on Twitter @Cristela9. Her standup special, Lower Classy, is on Netflix. And of course, don't miss her on Bubble, MaxFun's scripted sci-fi comedy show!

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Anne Mandola Jones for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 374: Statute of Celebrations

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Rick brings the case against his wife, Sarah. When Sarah’s birthday month rolls around, she likes to plan different celebrations with various groups of people in her life. Rick thinks it’s too many birthday events and would like to set a two-celebration limit. With Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Huge thanks to Monte for joining us again this summer! You can catch him on the airwaves in Northampton, MA on 93.9 WRSI The River!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY RICK:

Click here for Rick's birthday stats and graphs.

SUBMITTED BY SARAH:

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Thank you to Jordan Welch & Jennifer Milner for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 373: Much Ado About Clothing

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Jason brings the case against his friend, Francisco. They run a community Shakespeare theatre group together. Jason would like to try doing more contemporary and experimental Shakespeare adaptations, but Francisco is opposed. With Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

EVIDENCE

Affidavit from Marie, costume designer on 2018’s Henry the Fourth, a "Generic Old Timey Shakespeare Land" production:

This past February I was a Co-Costume Designer for Francisco's production of Henry the IV Pt. 1. During that time, it became clear to me that the practice of doing non-descript/non-specific period dress for every production, semi-affectionately referred to as "old timey Francisco land", was wearing on the designers as well as Madison Shakespeare Company. While there are a number of reasons that this has caused some very stressful situations, the larger share of stress and discomfort has been caused by these core elements.

- A fundamental misunderstanding of the resources available to costume designers and coordinators for period dress. When discussing initial designs and resources, it was mentioned that there were a number of resources available to us to find the necessary garments, via costume shops and other companies in the area. This turned out to not be the case and most of the items that ended up in the show were either hand made by us or bought. Very few, in comparison, were borrowed.

- Underestimation of the time needed to complete designs, garments and garment acquisition for non-descript period clothing. Costumes often become an afterthought until about 3-4 weeks prior to opening night. By then, many options are no longer available to us and the cost, workload, and stress begin to pile up. Typical build/acquisition timelines run at least 6 weeks or more.

- Cost is borderline prohibitive. Period costumes cost a lot of money... especially when there is a very short build/acquisition timeline.

- Consistent unclear communication regarding the desired historical period style and general mood of the clothing. When you are not specific about the time period for the production, it is 10x harder to find the necessary garments. Please do not leave us hanging out in a non-specific mood that gives us no real information about what you are looking for. We want to make you happy, please just tell us what you want.

- Unwillingness to consider other, more awesome, modern/post-modern dress design concepts. I would be SO willing to do a modern, post-apocalyptic or even a futuristic design concept, were we not stuck in "Old-Timey Francisco Land”!

- Inevitable use of heavy, synthetic fabrics and the subsequent discomfort of the actors who must wear them. I realize none of us really care how the actor's feel, still . . . It's worth noting. Less time for design means crappier fabric and garment choices.

Affidavit from Bridget, costume designer on 2018’s Henry the Fourth, a "Generic Old Timey Shakespeare Land" Production:

I love me some old-timey Authentic Period Shakespeare as much as the next gal, but one should consider limiting the annual number of productions involving houppelandes, hozen, and paned slops when time, funding, and costume resources are all limited. Do you know anyone who has a spare set of full plate armor that they can loan out for free for a month or so? Have any friends who collect replica medieval turnshoes in a wide range of sizes? Are your sewing skills so mad that you can crank out a corset or ruff collar in a couple of days and still have time to sleep?

Do you enjoy making costumers weep hysterical, hopeless tears into half-cut bolts of upholstery fabric at 2 a.m.?

No? You don't? Then think about a nice contemporary-themed show with stage blacks and some spiffy props and makeup.

Willy Shakes would understand. He was a broke actor, too.

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Thank you to Chris Ubben for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 372: Edible Arraignments

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Guests: 
Jordan Morris

Judge John Hodgman is away from the court on this week's episode. Bailiff Jesse Thorn is taking over judging duties, with friend of the court Jordan Morris serving as bailiff!

Jennie brings the case against her husband, John. John has received a lot of gag gifts over the years that happen to be food items. He is currently storing all of them in the fridge. Jennie wants him to get rid of the gifted food but John is too sentimental!

EVIDENCE

You can check out BRIAN AND LINDSAY WILL TOTALLY EAT THAT here:

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Thank you to Jason Jackman for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 371: Into the Teal

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They talk about bedroom wall colors, loud clappers, meat cooking utensils, holiday cards, locking doors, and millenials.

EVIDENCE

Here is the video Bailiff Jesse mentioned that shows Harry Connick Jr. tricking his audience into clapping on the 2s and 4s:

And here's the video Judge Hodgman described that shows Sting applauding for Bruce Springsteen:

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 370: Live From Chicago 2018, Part 2

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Guests: 
OHMME

Judge John Hodgman is live in Chicago again, at Thalia Hall for the Onion Comedy and Arts Festival! "Amendment to the Constellation" plus Swift Justice disputes about dogs, farts and a special pair of newly married litigants! Plus, music from OHMME!

OHMME's first full-length album, Parts, is coming out on August 24, 2018 on Joyful Noise Recordings! They'll also be at West Fest in Chicago on July 8th.

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Colan Kennelly for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 369: The Booth, the Whole Booth, and Nothing But the Booth

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Sophie is filing suit against her parents, Toby and Thor. If they are out to eat and seated at a table they don't like, Toby and Thor will ask to sit elsewhere. Sophie thinks that her parents should just deal with the table they've been given. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thank you to Ian Brodie for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 368: The Whistle Throne

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Guests: 
Alison Becker

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket with special guest, Alison Becker! They talk about whistling, serving pizza at your wedding, the beginning of Spring, ordering food to go at a sit-down restaurant, and eating bacon with a fork!

Alison Becker is one of the stars of Maximum Fun's brand new scripted serial podcast, BUBBLE! Make sure to check it out now, wherever you listen to podcasts.
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 367: Live From Chicago, 2018

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Guests: 
Ohmme

This week's episode was recorded live in Chicago at Thalia Hall, as part of The Onion Comedy & Arts Festival! Tune in for "Tilty or Not Tilty" plus Swift Justice disputes about bedtimes, an online boat game and watching crime dramas. Plus, music from Sima Cunningham and Macie Stewart of Ohmme!

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Logan Green for suggesting the title "Tilty or Not Tilty!" To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 366: Dance Like No One is Showering

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week, clearing that docket! They talk about disputes having to do with speakerphone, water conservation, soda fountains, Leap Day birthdays, mud rooms and hosting out of town guests.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 365: Across State Felines

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Adrienne brings the case against her boyfriend, David. They are going to be attending graduate school in different states and cannot agree on how to handle custody of their two cats. Adrienne says it's more practical for David to take care of them but David thinks Adrienne will miss them too much. Who's right, who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Charles Louis Richter for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 364: Wedding Clashers

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Laura brings the case against her fiancé, Zach. Laura would like to elope but Zach thinks that they should have a bigger, more traditional wedding. Who's right, who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Click here for the video Laura sent of their cat, Ru, playing fetch.

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Music in this week's episode:
Faceoff Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Thank you to Nora McCaffrey Glaser for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 363: Eminent Bromain

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Theresa brings the case against her brother, Paul. Paul insists on referring to her childhood bedroom as the "Guest Room." But Theresa thinks it should still be called "Theresa's Room." Who's right, who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Tom Early for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 362: The Most Beautiful Man in Jurisprudence

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Guests: 
Elliott Kalan

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week so they can clear the docket! Friend (enemy?) of the court Elliott Kalan, joins them as they discuss tracking spouses on mobile apps, passing gas, setting clocks ahead, bedtimes and using kitchen appliances in the bedroom.

Elliott can be found on Maximum Fun's own smash hit podcast The Flop House. Check him out with his fellow Floppies, Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington, on their tour! Visit FlopHousePodcast.com/events for tour dates and ticket info. Keep an eye out for Elliott's children's book Horse Meets Dog, which will be available in stores this fall.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 361: Tambourine With the Evidence

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This week on Judge John Hodgman, Anne brings the case against her husband, Mike. Mike spends a lot of time on the road for work. He likes to bring home a musical instrument from each trip as a souvenir. But, Anne thinks he doesn’t need to bring an instrument home from each country he visits. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Here is an article about the hidden nusery inside the National Theatre in Richmond, VA.

As well, here is the Wikipedia entry on the pink fairy armadillo, as discussed in this week's episode.

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY ANNE:
"Here is Mike's promo video in which he plays multiple of the instruments as evidence that yes, indeed, they do serve a 'professional' purpose sometimes (also, for your own personal enjoyment)."

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Thank you to Rick Fravel for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 360: Yappy Trails

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Thank you everyone who became a new or upgrading member during the 2018 MaxFunDrive! You helped us not only hit our goal of 25,000 new or upgrading members, but we also hit our stretch goal of 28,000 new or upgrading members! We are thrilled to have all of you who contributed as members and we are thankful to you for keeping the show going.

This week on Judge John Hodgman, Chase brings the case against his father, Chris. When they go hiking, Chris likes to use that time to chat with his kid. But, Chase likes to quietly enjoy his surroundings. He would like his dad to give him the serenity he desires. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Here is the essay, "Pond Scum" by Kathryn Shulz about Henry David Thoreau that Judge John Hodgman mentioned during the podcast.

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Matthew Batters for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 359: Beyond a Reasonable Bout

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MaxFunDrive is still happening! Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support! Visit maximumfun.org/donate to contribute and to check out what kind of sweet thank you gifts you can receive!

This week on Judge John Hodgman, Brandon files suit against his wife, Marie. A few months ago, Brandon won his first and only amateur boxing match. He’s starting to get the itch to compete again but Marie is opposed! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

EVIDENCE

Here's the video from the fight. Brandon is in the blue jersey. The fight begins at around 1:50!

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Thank you to Ryan Stratton for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 358: Chips Annoy!

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Guests: 
Alton Brown

It's MaxFunDrive time! Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support! Visit maximumfun.org/donate to contribute and to check out what kind of sweet thank you gifts you can receive!

This week on Judge John Hodgman, Jeremy files suit against his partner, Christine. He says that when Christine bakes chocolate chip cookies, she bakes them for too long. Christine says that her cookies are always perfectly done! Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Expert Witness, ALTON BROWN!

Plus, Alton sticks around after the case to help us clear a miniature docket composed of food related disputes.

Huge thanks to Alton Brown for providing such valuable expertise on this episode! You can catch him on Iron Chef Gauntlet on Food Network, premiering its second season TONIGHT, APRIL 4, 2018 at 9pm ET! Alton is on Twitter @altonbrown and will be live-Tweeting through tonight's premiere.

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Thank you to Tom Early for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 357: Legal Jar Gone

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Kit brings the case against his roommate Olivia. Olivia likes to keep and repurpose jars. Kit says Olivia’s collection has grown too large. But Olivia can’t part with them! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Eli Dennewitz, Steve Tedder & Alex James for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 356: Refrigerator Firefighter

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are clearing the docket this week! They talk about leaving hair dryers plugged in, splitting movie theater popcorn, auto insurance, when to wake up in the morning, and flamethrowers. Plus a dispute against the city of Seattle with special, expert testimony from friend of the court John Roderick!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 355: Judge's Court, Judge's Rules

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are clearing the docket this week! They talk about how to deal with merchandise one receives by mistake, whistling, naming babies, going out post-cardio exercise, and much more!

Huge thanks to Matt for bringing Caleb from Duplo Jeopardy Judge Hodgman's LEGO!

Here they are during the tradeoff!

If you have LEGO pieces you'd like to send Caleb's way, send them to:

Lego For Caleb
PO Box 45044 Brentwood PO
Calgary, AB, Canada
T2L 1Y4

Make sure to check out Hamish the cat's Instagram account at http://www.instagram.com/sir_hamish for photos of the cat discussed in this week's episode.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 354: Undisclosed Financial Settlement of Catan

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Randi brings the case against their girlfriend Lizzy. Lizzy has a growing board game collection and Randi would like her to pare it down. Lizzy says her collection is not disrupting anything. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Adam Capybara, Tom Brinton, and Brad Daniels for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 353: Shut Your Spy Hole!

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TJ brings the case against his wife Rachel. TJ has set up a few security cameras in their home. He likes being able to see the kids without bothering Rachel. But she doesn’t like feeling watched. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out the video evidence TJ submitted.

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Thank you to Joel Martin for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 352: The Battlestar Galactist Generation

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week so they can clear the docket. They talk about strangers on the subway reading Vacationland whilst behaving badly, cheating in school, and public shaming. Plus! What is the minimum percentage that is an acceptable restaurant tip? What is ok to eat in the car? Should a couple of new parents hire a professional photographer to take photos of their baby?

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 351: Tux Evasion

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Rebecca brings the case against her teenage son, Parrish. Parrish is a senior in high school and he refuses to go to his senior prom. Rebecca doesn't want him to miss out on this once in a lifetime event. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Allison Peltzman for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 350: Duplo Jeopardy

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Guests: 
Seth Mnookin

Caleb brings the case against his friend, Ryan. Caleb is ready to get rid of his Lego collection, but Ryan thinks he should keep it in storage. Ryan says that even though Caleb thinks he’s ready to let it go, he will later regret parting with these sets. Who's right? Who's wrong? With Expert Witness Seth Mnookin!

Huge thanks to Expert Witness Seth Mnookin for his extensive Lego knowledge. His latest book is The Panic Virus: The True Story Behind the Vaccine-Autism Controversy, and it's available wherever books are sold. You can find Seth on Twitter @sethmnookin and his website is SethMnookin.com

If you have any Lego you'd like to send to Caleb, to help his dreams come true, please email hodgman@maximumfun.org!

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This episode is dedicated to Carl Garner Jr., who was tragically killed on Sunday, February 4, 2018, due to gun violence. Listeners of the show will remember him as the student of Eric Little in Kentucky, who wrote the essay about why a hot dog is not a sandwich. Carl's essay can be heard in Episode 243: The Nog Tank.

Carl's aunt has started a Go Fund Me page to help his family with the funeral expenses. Visit https://www.gofundme.com/carls-garner-funeral to donate.

Folks are also welcome to offer donations to the Lexington Day Treatment Center, where Carl studied with Eric. The address is:

Lexington Day Treatment Center
c/o Stephanie Hong
1177 Harry Sykes Way
Lexington, KY 40504

Flowers may go to:
3792 Red River Drive
Lexington, KY 40517

We wish to express our deepest sympathies to Carl's friends, family and loved ones. Thank you, Carl.

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Thank you to Jonathan Reiter for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 349: Transcendental Irritation

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Liz brings the case against her coworker, John. John likes to meditate in their department’s workspace. But Liz thinks he needs to find a new place! Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Regan Blanchard for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 348: Moral High Ground vs. Moral Pit

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week! They talk about diet sodas, fruity teas, shower maintenance while staying with in-laws, and bed sheet changing. Plus a listener letter about ATMs!

As mentioned on the show, here's Chris Elliott as Marlon Brando, doing the Banana Dance:

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 347: Live From San Francisco Sketchfest, 2018

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"Statute Arf Limitations" and Swift Justice, recorded live at San Francisco Sketchfest! With special guests Merrill Garbus and Nate Brenner of Tune-Yards, with a dispute of their own!

Tune-Yards' newest album, "I can feel you creep into my private life," comes out on Friday January 19! It's being released by 4AD, and can be found wherever music is sold! They are also going on tour in February and March. Visit tune-yards.com/#tour for dates and more information.

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Eric Ray for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 346: Check Pleas

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Samantha files suit against her mother, Tina. When they go out together, Tina always insists on paying. Samantha says that she is an adult who works full-time, and she’s happy to pitch in. But Tina just wants to take care of her daughter! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Here is the "Check Please!" supercut Judge Hodgman mentioned:

Thank you to Andrew McNair & Craig Eliason for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 345: Chandler Braggin' on Beeps

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn kick off 2018 in chambers and ready to clear the docket! They talk about listening to songs on repeat, work attire, suitcase storage, a New England donut and coffee chain, and more!

Here are a few videos discussed in this week's episode:

Sha Na Na at Woodstock in 1969

Plus, here is the episode of The Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project that Judge Hodgman recommended, which also contains Sha Na Na discussion.

Chandler and Rachel show us how to use Windows 95

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 344: Coq Au Ban

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Gideon brings the case against his wife, Cynthia. He wants their family's chickens to be free range, but Cynthia says they have destroyed her garden. Who's right? Who's wrong?

If you want to check out Judge Hodgman's neighbor's blog about his pigs, visit YardPig.com.

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out Gustavo's business plan!

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Tickets are still available for Judge John Hodgman at SF Sketchfest! LIVE Bay Area justice will be dispensed on Thursday January 11, 2018 at the Castro Theatre. More info can be found on the right side of this page or at SFsketchfest.com!

If you are or will be in the Bay Area on January 11 and have a dispute for the show, submit it at MaximumFun.org/JJHo! And be sure to check out Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn throughout the weekend at the Fest!

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Thank you to Jesse Madsen for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 343: Lodging: A Complaint

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Katie brings the case against her husband, Briton. Briton doesn’t like spending the night at Katie’s parents’ house when they visit. But she likes staying there, especially over Christmas. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Katie:

Here's the Allentown, PA bedroom in question!

It's not too late to give the gift of Judge Hodgman's Vacationland for the holidays! It's available wherever books are sold. You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Tickets are still available for Judge John Hodgman at SF Sketchfest! LIVE Bay Area justice will be dispensed on Thursday January 11, 2018 at the Castro Theatre. More info can be found on the right side of this page or at SFsketchfest.com!

If you are or will be in the Bay Area on January 11 and have a dispute for the show, submit it at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

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Thank you to Chris Hemedinger for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 342: Seating Arraignments

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Elizabeth files suit against her friend, Zach. They spend a lot of time together watching TV at Zach’s apartment. But Elizabeth is unhappy with his living room seating arrangement. She would like him to add a chair, but he says the couch he has is enough! Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books and will make a wonderful gift for any holiday you celebrate! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Speaking of holiday gifts, visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

Tickets are still available for Judge John Hodgman at SF Sketchfest! LIVE Bay Area justice will be dispensed on Thursday January 11, 2018 at the Castro Theatre. More info can be found on the right side of this page or at SFsketchfest.com!

If you are or will be in the Bay Area on January 11 and have a dispute for the show, submit it at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

Finally, don't miss December's JEAN & JOHN at the Bell House if you are in or near Brooklyn! The show is Wednesday December 20 and you can get tickets at bit.ly/richardkind.

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Thank you to Graham Stanton & Felipe Sobreiro for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 341: Ayn Rand Out!

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket. They rule on cases regarding sides of the bed, TSA Precheck, Star Wars viewing habits and more! Plus a visit from the ghost of a certain Objectivist author and a follow up letter from Philippa of the case "Turing Testimony" about Tinothy!

We were delighted to hear an update from Philippa of Episode 336: Turing Testimony. Here's the photo of her Tinothy-style texts from Sharmain:

Tickets are still on sale for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest! LIVE Bay Area justice will be dispensed on Thursday January 11, 2018 at the Castro Theatre. More info can be found on the right side of this page or at SFsketchfest.com

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books and will make a wonderful gift for any holiday you celebrate! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Speaking of holiday gifts, visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

If you're in the Los Angeles area and want to shop Put This On in person, you're in luck! There will be an in-person sale on Sunday, December 10 from 11am-6pm at MaxFun HQ at MacArthur Park. Visit PutThisOn.com for more information.
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 340: Grouse Negligence

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Tickets are on sale NOW for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest! LIVE Bay Area justice will be dispensed on Thursday January 11, 2018 at the Castro Theatre. More info can be found on the right side of this page or at SFsketchfest.com!

If you will be in the Bay Area on January 11 and have a dispute for the show, submit it at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

Kasey brings the case against her husband, Josh. Josh is an avid hunter and would like to go as much as he can during the season. But Kasey wants him to be more available during this time to help with her business. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Friend of the Court Chuck Byrant has a new podcast! Make sure to listen to the Movie Crush Podcast to hear greats like Tig Notaro, Jon Ronson, Janet Varney and JUDGE HODGMAN HIMSELF discussing their favorite movies! Visit MovieCrush.show or find it wherever you download podcasts.

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books and will make a wonderful gift for any holiday you celebrate! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Speaking of holiday gifts, visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

If you're in the Los Angeles area and want to shop Put This On in person, you're in luck! There will be an in-person sale on Sunday, December 10 from 11am-6pm at MaxFun HQ at MacArthur Park. Visit PutThisOn.com for more information.

Thank you to Ryan Stratton for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 339: Marco? Justice!

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KLAXON! KLAXON! Ticket's are on sale NOW for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest! Watch Bay Area justice dispensed on Thursday January 11, 2018 at the Castro Theatre. More info can be found on the right side of this page or at SFsketchfest.com!

If you will be in the Bay Area on January 11 and have a dispute for the show, submit it at MaximumFun.org/JJHo! That is all.

Nate brings the case against his wife, Pam. They have just bought their first house and Pam wants to have a swimming pool installed. Nate says pools are too expensive and time consuming to maintain.

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Nate:

Dangerousness of pools:
Steven Levitt (Freakonomics guy): "Thus, on average, if you both own a gun and have a swimming pool in the backyard, the swimming pool is about 100 times more likely to kill a child than the gun is."
scienceblogs.com/deltoid/2001/07/27/levittpoolsvsguns

Financial impact:
"According to Houselogic.com, the National Association of Realtors' online magazine for homeowners, the average cost to install, equip, and fill a 600-square-foot concrete pool starts at $30,000."
"You’ll spend about $600 during the swimming season on chemicals if you maintain your pool yourself. If you live in a climate where you’ll use the pool year-round, budget $15–25 a week for DIY maintenance."
www.daveramsey.com/blog/pool-increase-decrease-home-value

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Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books and will make a wonderful gift for any holiday you celebrate! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Speaking of holiday gifts, visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale, including the brand new "Gifts for Her" section! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

If you're in the Los Angeles area and want to shop Put This On in person, you're in luck! There will be an in-person sale on Sunday, December 10 from 11am-6pm at MaxFun HQ at MacArthur Park. Visit PutThisOn.com for more information.

Thank you to Sandra Macke for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 338: Phantom Stereo Repair Shop

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are back in chambers this week to clear the docket. They talk about vacuum repairs, scrambled eggs, going away parties and more! Plus a spooooooky listener letter about the devil.

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. If you're in Austin, make sure to see Judge Hodgman perform Vacationland LIVE on November 18! Tickets and more info is available at bit.ly/maineinaustin!

Visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale, including the brand new "Awards & Prizes" section! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

Music in this episode:
"This House" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 337: Live from the London Podcast Festival 2017, Part 2

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Guests: 
Barbarossa

"Scarflaw" and Swift Justice, live from the London Podcast Festival! Plus, music from Barbarossa!

Huge thanks to Barbarossa for joining us in London! His latest single is called, "Griptide" and it's out on Memphis Industries now. Look out for a new album coming in 2018! Visit BarbarossaMusic.com for music, tour dates and more information.

EVIDENCE

Here is a photo of Woody wearing Matt's scarf:

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Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. If you're in Austin, make sure to see Judge Hodgman perform Vacationland LIVE on November 18! Tickets and more info is available at bit.ly/maineinaustin!

Visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale, including the brand new "Awards & Prizes" section! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

Thank you to Mike Brady, Aaron Campbell & Hilary Lozar for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Special Bonus Episode: Jesse Thorn Interviews John Hodgman

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Judge John Hodgman sat down with Bailiff Jesse Thorn for NPR's Bullseye with Jesse Thorn to discuss his newest book Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches. The interview won't air for another few days but we are delighted to share an extended version with our JJHo listeners now. We hope you enjoy it!

You can catch Bullseye With Jesse Thorn every week right here at Maximum Fun, or wherever you download podcasts. Vacationland is available in stores now. Visit bit.ly/painfulbeaches for more information.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 336: Turing Testimony

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Sharmain brings the case against her friend Philippa. She says that Philippa has been spending too much time texting on an app with an Artificial Intelligent friend. But, Philippa doesn’t think it’s such a big deal.

EVIDENCE

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Here is the video from this episode's Obscure Cultural Reference:

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books! You can find more Information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

Visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale, including the brand new "Awards & Prizes" section! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

Make sure to check out one of MaxFun's brand new shows, Heat Rocks! Available on MaximumFun.org or wherever you download podcasts.

Thank you to HW Peterson, Rob Waters & Patrick Reilly for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 335: Public Befriender

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Heather brings the case against her husband, Larry. Heather says that when they are out running errands, Larry spends too much time chatting with whomever he makes eye contact. Larry wants Heather to embrace people in her community more freely.

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available NOW wherever you get your books! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

Visit PutThisOnShop.com to check out the new wares Bailiff Jesse Thorn has up for sale, including the brand new "Awards & Prizes" section! Don't forget to use the code VINTAGEJUSTICE for free shipping on most items.

Thank you to Tim Mallos for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 334: Pro Patink All the Way

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are back in chambers to clear the docket! They discuss cases about word pronunciation, sharing the road, style choices and more! Plus letters about pets and world capitals!

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Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is almost out! You can find more information about it at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

You can listen to Bailiff Jesse Thorn's show, Jordan Jesse, Go! right here at MaximumFun.org, or wherever you download podcasts.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 333: Live from the London Podcast Festival 2017

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Guests: 
Serafina Steer

"Crypto Facto" and Swift Justice, live at King's Place in London during the 2017 London Podcast Festival! With music from Serafina Steer!

EVIDENCE

Huge thanks to Serafina Steer for joining us in London! Her debut album with Bas Jan is called “Yes I Jan” and comes out on Lost Map Records later this year. They have an EP available at BasJan.bandcamp.com. For more, visit SerafinaSteer.com!

Thank you to Chad Coker for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 332: A Podcast for the Problemless

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Guests: 
Jonathan Coulton

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week! They clear the docket with Deputy Judge Jonathan Coulton. The team rules on disputes regarding flip flops, hotel toiletries, whistling and more. Plus, the judge makes a big announcement about future disputes, we hear a correction to the record from past guest John Darnielle, and we say a fond farewell to our summertime engineer, Joel Mann at WERU Community Radio.

Huge thanks to Joel Mann and WERU for serving as the Judge's summertime chambers again! WERU is a listener supported, non-commercial radio station serving Midcoast, Downeast and Central Maine. They are always accepting donations here in order to keep operations going. Thank you, Joel! We look forward to speaking with you again next summer.

Jonathan Coulton's new album and accompanying graphic novel, Solid State, is available at solidstate.jonathancoulton.com. Tickets are still on sale for JoCo Cruise 2018 at jococruise.com. Jonathan is on Twitter @jonathancoulton and you can catch him weekly on NPR's Ask Me Another.

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 331: Live From Brooklyn, NY 2017

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Guests: 
Carsie Blanton

"Statute of Imitations" and Swift Justice live at The Bell House in Brooklyn, NY! Plus, music from Carsie Blanton!

Carsie's raising money on Kickstarter to fund her game, The F'ing Truth! Visit TheFingTruth.com for more info.

EVIDENCE

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

Thank you to Amy Grzybinski for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 330: Planted Evidence

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Max files suit against his mother, Mercedes. When Mercedes sees a plant she likes out in the world, she takes a clipping home to plant in her garden. Max says this is stealing but Mercedes disagrees. She thinks plants in public spaces are fair game! Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

Thank you to Alex Callard & Megan Hodgkiss for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 329: He Bed, She Bed

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Tom brings the case against his wife, Myranda. Myranda complains that Tom’s snoring and other nighttime habits keep her awake. She wants to start sleeping in separate bedrooms, but Tom is opposed. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's verdicts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

Tickets are still available for Judge John Hodgman at the London Podcast Festival on September 14 and September 16. Get yours now! If you have a dispute to submit in London, big or small, send it in at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

If you're already attending the London Podcast Festival, make sure to see Judge Hodgman on the Song by Song Podcast right after JJHo on September 14! He'll join hosts Martin Zaltz Austwick and Sam Pay along with Helen Zaltzman to discuss the first three tracks of Tom Waits' album "Rain Dogs." Tickets are available HERE!

You can also see more of Bailiff Jesse at the London Podcast Festival. He and Jordan Morris are bringing Jordan Jesse Go! with special guests Nick Hornby and Helen Zaltzman to Kings Place on September 15. Tickets are available HERE!

Jesse and JJHo producer Jennifer will also be taking part in the Podcast Maker Weekend at the London Podcast Festival.

Thank you to Tim Mallos for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 328: Fudgie the Bail

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Kate brings the case against her husband, Aaron. Aaron insists on baking cakes for every birthday party or special event. Kate would rather he focus his energy on helping her with their two young kids instead of baking elaborate cakes. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. To find out if he is coming to your city on his book tour, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour. You can also read more of the Judge's thoughts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

Tickets are still available for Judge John Hodgman at the London Podcast Festival on September 14 and September 16. Get yours now! If you have a dispute to submit in London, big or small, send it in at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

If you're already attending the London Podcast Festival, make sure to see Judge Hodgman on the Song by Song Podcast right after JJHo on September 14! He'll join hosts Martin Zaltz Austick and Sam Pay along with Helen Zaltzman to discuss the first three tracks of Tom Waits' album "Rain Dogs." Tickets are available HERE!

You can also see more of Bailiff Jesse at the London Podcast Festival. He and Jordan Morris are bringing Jordan Jesse Go! with special guest Nick Hornby to Kings Place on September 15. Tickets are available HERE! Jesse and JJHo producer Jennifer will also be taking part in the Podcast Maker Weekend at the London Podcast Festival.

Thank you to Jesse Madsen for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 327: Little Weirdsies

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This week, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket, with the help of Guest Deputy Judge Linda Holmes! The tribunal rules on disputes regarding drinking old water, potlucks, flaky friends and more!

Here is the Byrd Theatre's Litter PSA in full!

Thank you, Teresa for sending this our way!

Huge thanks to Linda Holmes for joining us this week! NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour is available wherever you download podcasts! She's on Twitter @nprmonkeysee. She will also be joining Judge John Hodgman in conversation in Washington DC on October 28th as part of the Vacationland book tour. Visit JohnHodgman.com/tour for more info!

Tickets are still available for Judge John Hodgman at the London Podcast Festival on September 14 and September 16. Get yours now! We also still need cases for Judge John Hodgman live in Brooklyn at the Bell House on September 9 and at the London Podcast Festival! Submit your cases, big or small, at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

If you're already attending the London Podcast Festival, make sure to see Judge Hodgman on the Song by Song Podcast right after JJHo on September 14! He'll join hosts Martin Zaltz Austick and Sam Pay along with Helen Zaltzman to discuss the first three tracks of Tom Waits' album "Rain Dogs." Tickets are available HERE!

You can also see more of Bailiff Jesse at the London Podcast Festival. He and Jordan Morris are bringing Jordan Jesse Go! with special guest Nick Hornby to Kings Place on September 15. Tickets are available HERE! Jesse and JJHo producer Jennifer will also be taking part in the Podcast Maker Weekend at the London Podcast Festival.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 326: Sport Reform

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Karen brings the case against her husband, Tom. Tom has been teaching their 8 year old son about faking injuries on the soccer field. Karen doesn't think this is okay but Tom says this is an accepted part of the game! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. You can also read more of the Judge's thoughts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

We need cases for Judge John Hodgman live in Brooklyn at the Bell House on September 9 and at the London Podcast Festival! Submit your cases, big or small, at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

Tickets are available now for our shows at the London Podcast Festival on September 14 and September 16. Get yours now!

Thank you to Evan LaRocca & Joel Bergsbaken for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 325: Nap Judgment

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Ann files suit against her husband, Stephen. When they travel, Ann wants to keep a regular sleeping schedule to avoid grogginess. But, Stephen thinks the point of vacation is to relax! He wants the flexibility to sleep in. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY ANN

"Here's an abbreviated list of sleep hygiene recommendations from the National Sleep Foundation"
- Limit daytime naps to 30 minutes.
- Avoiding stimulants such as caffeine close to bedtime.
- Exercising to promote good quality sleep.
- Steering clear of food that can be disruptive right before sleep.
- Ensuring adequate exposure to natural light.
- Establishing a regular relaxing bedtime routine.
- Making sure that the sleep environment is pleasant. "Bright light from lamps, cell phone and TV screens can make it difficult to fall asleep, so turn those light off or adjust them when possible."

Huge thanks to Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte for joining us this week! Catch Monte's radio show at WRSI The River here! And if you are in the Turners Falls, MA area, make sure to visit the Shea Theater. If you're there on September 30, you won't want to miss Monte and his psychic friend at the Shea Theater, bringing the return of The Psychic and the Skeptic!

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. You can also read more of the Judge's thoughts regularly in his Judge John Hodgman column in the New York Times Magazine.

We need cases for Judge John Hodgman live in Brooklyn at the Bell House on September 9 and at the London Podcast Festival! Submit your cases, big or small, at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

Tickets are available now for our shows at the London Podcast Festival on September 14 and September 16. Get yours now!

Thank you to Stephen Lipenta for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 324: Burden of Pooch

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Kate brings the case against her husband, Rob. Rob had a childhood dream of getting an Old English Sheepdog. Now they have one, and Kate says she is doing the majority of the dog care. She wants Rob to spend more time with the dog and become dog's best friend. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With the return of Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY KATE

You can check out Rob's cocktail Instagram account @klecktails!

Huge thanks to Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte for joining us this week! Catch Monte's radio show on WRSI The River here! And if you are in the Turners Falls, MA area, make sure to visit the Shea Theater. If you're there on September 30, you won't want to miss Monte and his psychic friend at the Shea Theater, bringing the return of The Psychic and the Skeptic!

Judge Hodgman's book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. You can also read more of the Judge's thoughts regularly in his column in the New York Times Magazine.

If you're in the Portland, Maine area, make sure to catch occasional Guest Bailiff Jean Grae and Judge John Hodgman's live variety show "Jean and John" at Port City Music Hall in Portland, Maine on August 10! Tickets are available at bit.ly/jeanjohnMAINE2!

We need cases for Judge John Hodgman live in Brooklyn at the Bell House on September 9 and at the London Podcast Festival! Submit your cases, big or small, at MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

Thank you to Felipe Sobreiro for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 323: Buffalo Wild Writs

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Rowena brings the case against her boss, Glen. When they travel for work, Glen likes to eat at the same chain restaurants. But, Rowena wants to branch out! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

If you want to know more about the Winchester Mystery House, as mentioned on the show, click HERE!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY ROWENA:

This article. There are several reasons I don't like a certain nautically-named-sandwich shop, but this recent study by the CBC put me even further off when they discovered their chicken isn't even 100% chicken.”

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. Make sure to sign up for his newsletter at bit.ly/hodgmail so you can receive the Judge's lifestyle advice as well as book tour dates, right in your inbox!

If you're in the Portland, Maine area, make sure to catch occasional Guest Bailiff Jean Grae and Judge John Hodgman's live variety show "Jean and John" at Port City Music Hall in Portland, Maine on August 10! Tickets are available at bit.ly/jeanjohnMAINE2!

If you're near Los Angeles, you won't want to miss the MaxFun Beer Blast on August 12! Join Jordan Jesse Go! with other MaxFun friends like Mike Eagle, Danielle Radford, Riley Silverman and Elliot Kalan, live on stage at Angel City Brewery! For ticket info, check out the right side of this page or click HERE!

If you're near London, England, make sure to find us at the London Podcast Festival at King's Place in September! Tickets are available now for our shows on September 14 and September 16.

Thank you to Matthew Melton for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 322: Muzzbarketing and Morning Beverages

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket on this week's episode. They discuss cases regarding old t-shirts, twins sharing a room, morning coffee and more! Plus, follow up letters about Thurl Ravenscroft!

If you're in the Portland, Maine area, make sure to catch occasional Guest Bailiff Jean Grae and Judge John Hodgman's live variety show "Jean and John" at Port City Music Hall in Portland, Maine on August 10! Tickets are available at bit.ly/jeanjohnMAINE2!

If you're near Los Angeles, you won't want to miss the MaxFun Beer Blast on August 12! Join Jordan Jesse Go! with other MaxFun friends like Mike Eagle, Danielle Radford, Riley Silverman and more, live on stage at Angel City Brewery! For ticket info, check out the right side of this page or click HERE!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 321: Live in Chicago at Very Very Fun Day 2017

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Guests: 
Jean Grae
Guests: 
Saba

"Seeking Redress" and Swift Justice recorded live from Maximum Fun's first ever Very Very Fun Day in Chicago. With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae and musical guest Saba!

Erik Westra took some wonderful photos at Very Very Fun Day. To see his photos of Judge John Hodgman live (Becky's gloves and mask from "Seeking Redress" included), as well as the rest of the day, click HERE!

Saba's album Bucket List Project is available anywhere you stream music. He's also going to be headlining a European tour in October and November. For tour dates and more information visit SabaPivot.com. And keep track of Saba on social media @SabaPIVOT!

HUGE thanks to Jean Grae for filling for Bailiff Jesse Thorn! She’s on Twitter @JeanGreasy and on Bandcamp at JeanGrae.bandcamp.com.

Guest Bailiff Jean Grae and Judge John Hodgman are performing their new show, "Jean and John" at Port City Music Hall in Portland, Maine on August 10 and at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York on September 27.

Thank you to Jon Barr for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 320: Might as Well Judge

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Guests: 
John Darnielle

Jackson brings the case against his friend, Jesse. They are at odds about the merits of Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony. Jesse insists Michael Anthony is an unsung genius. Jackson disagrees and wants to put this debate to rest. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Expert Witness John Darnielle!

Click HERE to read Jesse Raub's 3,333 word essay about Michael Anthony!

Big thanks to John Darnielle for his expertise on this week's episode! Make sure to read his newest book, Universal Harvester, wherever you buy books and The Mountain Goats' latest album, Goths, wherever you buy music!

Tickets are on sale now for Judge John Hodgman Live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY! Click HERE for tickets or check the right side of this page for more details!

If you're near London, England, make sure to find us at the London Podcast Festival at King's Place in September! Tickets are available now for our shows on September 14 and September 16.

Thank you to Adam Capybara, Mike Kennedy, and Chris Rini for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 319: Common Law Carriage

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Blythe brings the case against her boyfriend Mac. Mac thinks he should have free rein to borrow Blythe’s car. But Blythe wants him to ask for her permission each time. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Tickets are on sale now for Judge John Hodgman Live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY! Click HERE for tickets or check the right side of this page for more details!

If you're near London, England, make sure to find us at the London Podcast Festival at King's Place in September! Tickets are available now for our shows on September 14 and September 16.

Thank you to Jake Forbes for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 318: Innjustice

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Luke brings the case against his fiancée, Quay. They are planning their destination wedding and have a limited number of on-site cabins available. Luke would like to split the cabins 50-50. But, Quay says they should be allocated proportionally, so the two of them have an equal percentage of guests in off-site hotels. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

If you're in the Portland, ME area this summer make sure to check out Jean & John, Judge Hodgman's live show with friend of the podcast Jean Grae. They will be bringing the show to the Port City Music Hall on July 9th. Tickets are available here.

Bailiff Jesse Thorn's new podcast The Turnaround launches Thursday, June 22! With the Columbia Journalism Review, Jesse talks to some terrific interviewers about the craft behind what they do. Check out this week's episode of Bullseye for edited versions of interviews from The Turnaround with NPR's Audie Cornish, Marc Maron and Katie Couric. And don't forget to subscribe in Apple Podcasts or wherever you download podcasts.

If you're near London, England, make sure to find us at the London Podcast Festival at King's Place in September! Tickets are available now for our shows on September 14 and September 16.

Thank you to Travis Marttila for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 317: Deep in the Misanthropy Hole

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn return to chambers this week to clear the docket. They discuss eggshell disposal, baseball team allegiance, white lies and more! Plus some follow up letters about cats!

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. If you're in Western Massachusetts, there are still day tickets available for Wilco's Solid Sound Festival, where Judge Hodgman is hosting the Comedy Stage on Saturday, June 24.

If you're in the Portland, ME area this July, make sure to check out Jean & John, Judge Hodgman's live show with friend of the show Jean Grae. They will be bringing the show to the Port City Music Hall on July 9! Tickets are available here.

If you're near London, England, make sure to find us dispensing Live Justice at the London Podcast Festival at King's Place in September! Tickets are available now for our shows on September 14 and September 16. We are taking cases for both shows at MaximumFun.org/JJHo.

Tickets are still available for MaxFunCon East, taking place Labor Day weekend in the Poconos. Visit MaxFunCon.com for tickets and more information!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 316: Live From SF Sketchfest 2017

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Guests: 
Sara Watkins

"Hieronymous Quash" and "Property Bothers" recorded in front of a live audience at San Francisco Sketchfest 2017! Plus, Swift Justice and songs from special guest Sara Watkins!

Sara's on tour this summer! Check out her dates and music at SaraWatkins.com!

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Julia Skochko and Jenn MacGillivray for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 315: Scaritime Law

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Guests: 
Carrie Poppy

Ethan brings the case against his girlfriend Jayna. Ethan would like to spend one night on the Queen Mary ocean liner. But, reports of ghosts aboard the ship have made Jayna apprehensive about being there at night. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Expert Witness Carrie Poppy (Oh No, Ross and Carrie) helps the judge decide!

Make sure to check out Expert Witness Carrie Poppy's podcast Oh No, Ross and Carrie to hear about upcoming investigations during their Summer of UFO! Carrie is on Twitter @CarriePoppyYES.

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. Check out JohnHodgman.com/Tour to stay in the know about upcoming appearances.

You can also check out NPR's Bullseye With Jesse Thorn, hosted by Bailiff Jesse Thorn himself! You can find it here and wherever you download podcasts!

Thank you to Maggie Colvett for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 314: Vehicular Man-Squatter

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Ri brings the case against his brother Jan. Jan has been living in his car for the last several months. Ri thinks Jan needs to find an apartment of his own. But, Jan is happy with his current situation. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

EVIDENCE

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

You can also check out Bailiff Jesse's other podcast, Jordan, Jesse, Go! wherever you download podcasts!

Thank you to Rick Gutierrez for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 313: Sisterhood of the Gaveling Pants

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Zoe brings the case against her sister, Mara. Zoe has accused Mara of stealing her clothes and she would like them back. Mara thinks Zoe should be more willing to share. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out Elvis the Classy Dude's Instagram account, and here for Chompers the Corgi!

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Make sure to check out Bailiff Jesse's vintage shop at PutThisOn.com for great vintage accessories, scarves, pocket squares and other fun, decorative items. Don't forget to use the code SWEATERJUSTICE at check out for free shipping in the United States!

Thank you to Mike Frost & Steve Watts for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 312: New Schemes to Violate the Social Contract

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They discuss disputes about children in bars, wearing sweatpants to work, movie theater garbage and more! Plus a listener letter about virtual reality and the Renaissance Faire!

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

Make sure to check out Bailiff Jesse's vintage shop at PutThisOn.com for great vintage accessories, scarves, pocket squares and other fun, decorative items. Don't forget to use the code SWEATERJUSTICE at check out for free shipping in the United States!

Click here to check out the article Kelly sent in about the University of Washington HIT lab, home of Spiderworld: virtual arachnophobia therapy!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 311: Live From the London Podcast Festival

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Guests: 
Emmy the Great
Guests: 
Dan Schreiber
Guests: 
Anna Ptaszynski

"Pleading the Fifth" and Swift Justice taped in front of a live audience at the London Podcast Festival at King's Place. We also hear from Dan Schreiber and Anna Ptaszynski, from QI and the No Such Thing As A Fish podcast, with a dispute regarding fact-finding for their own show. Plus, music from Emmy the Great!

For info on Emmy the Great's tour dates, music and more, visit EmmyTheGreat.com! You can catch Dan and Anna's show No Such Thing As A Fish at QI.com/podcast. Keep an eye out for Judge Hodgman's appearance on No Such Thing as a Fish COMING SOON!

EDITED TO ADD: Click here to check out Judge Hodgman's appearance on No Such Thing As A Fish! Or search for No Such Thing as a Fish in your preferred podcast-listening app!

Thank you to Megan Hodgkiss for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 310: In Flagrante Delicto

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Sarah brings the case against her husband, Eric. Eric likes wearing pants that are decorated to look like the American flag. But, Sarah thinks he wears the pants at inappropriate times. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY ERIC

Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches. If you're in the Western, MA area this summer, make sure to check out the Solid Sound Festival, where Judge Hodgman is hosting the Comedy Stage.

You can also check out Bailiff Jesse's other shows Bullseye and Jordan, Jesse, Go! wherever you download podcasts!

Thank you to Dan Kane for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 309: Justice Extruded is Justice Denied

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Micah brings the case against his girlfriend Jenny. Micah would like to buy a 3D printer for their home. Jenny thinks their apartment is too small. She thinks he should wait until they move into a bigger place.

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY MICAH:

Click here to check out the printer that Micah would like. This is the space where he proposes the printer would live:

He says, "“As can be seen, the printer could comfortably fit beneath my computer desk--I would move the shelf that is currently down there to the place immediately to the right of the desk. The box that is currently in that spot would be moved to a more storage-y place since it's just holding random cords, PC parts, and other knickknacks that don't really need to be immediately accessible.”

SUBMITTED BY JENNY:

“I have made a short video of what our apartment looks like with some cameos from our dog Emmett.”

Click here to check out the video!

“I am also including a website with a list of places where you can 3D print. One of our friends has a membership at the Artisan's Asylum and has offered to let Micah used his space there so I've included their wiki on the machines they have.”

Boston 3D printing resources
Artisan’s Asylum machine wiki

Sign up for Judge Hodgman's newsletter at bit.ly/hodgmail. If you're in the Western, MA area this summer, make sure to check out the Solid Sound Festival, where Judge Hodgman is hosting the Comedy Stage. Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is also available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

MaxFunCon tickets are still on sale for MaxFunCon West in Lake Arrowhead and MaxFunCon East in the Poconos! Visit MaxFunCon.com for more info! Make sure to also check out You're Doing a Great Job written by Maximum Fun's very own Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn. It's available wherever books are sold!

Thank you to Tom Brinton for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 308: Live From Washington DC

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Guests: 
Ray Suarez
Guests: 
Dom Flemons Trio

"Rabius Corpus" and Swift Justice taped in front of a live audience at the Howard Theatre in Washington, DC on September 21, 2016. Plus, Sean and Jamie from Episode 194 "Do You Want to Hoard Some Snowglobes?" return with more Frozen-related justice. We also hear from Ray Suarez with an expert testimony and music from the Dom Flemons Trio!

For info on Dom Flemons' tour dates, music and more, visit TheAmericanSongster.com! Ray Suarez is on Twitter @RaySuarezNews and Linda Holmes, who introduced the live show for us, is @nprmonkeysee. You can also catch Linda on NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour.

EVIDENCE
Click here to check out Pumpkin the Raccoon's Instagram account, as referenced in "Rabius Corpus." Evidence from that case and the Chicken Pot Pie Swift Justice dispute are below:

Sign up for Judge Hodgman's newsletter at bit.ly/hodgmail. If you're in the Western, MA area this summer, make sure to check out the Solid Sound Festival, where Judge Hodgman is hosting the Comedy Stage. Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is also available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

MaxFunCon tickets are still on sale for MaxFunCon West in Lake Arrowhead and MaxFunCon East in the Poconos! Visit MaxFunCon.com for more info!

Thank you to Rachel Kartch for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 307: Too Many Cooks Spoil the Borth

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Guests: 
Kurt Braunohler

Thank you to everyone who donated during MaxFunDrive 2017! We appreciate your support and truly cannot make this show without it.

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are back in chambers this week to clear the docket! Guest Kurt Braunohler joins them to discuss cases regarding tacos, culture recommendations, a dispute against the Judge himself and more!

Here are the photos Shalyn sent us of the demise of her very own Nightmare Gerbil.

Kurt Braunohler's new Comedy Central special Trust Me is available to stream now on Comedy Central's website with your cable login details and on Amazon. You can also get the album on iTunes.

Kurt's new podcast, Wedlock, which he co-hosts with his wife Lauren Cook, premiers on Audible on April 20. You can listen to the trailer here. His other podcast, Emotional Hangs, is available on Feral Audio, and wherever you download podcasts.

Sign up for Judge Hodgman's newsletter at bit.ly/hodgmail. If you're in the Western, MA area this summer, make sure to check out the Solid Sound Festival, where Judge Hodgman is hosting the Comedy Stage. Judge Hodgman's newest book Vacationland is also available for pre-order at bit.ly/painfulbeaches.

MaxFunCon tickets are still on sale for MaxFunCon West in Lake Arrowhead and MaxFunCon East in the Poconos! Visit MaxFunCon.com for more info!
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 306: DNA NDA

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It's still MaxFunDrive time! Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support!

Don't forget to tune into our end-of-pledge-drive MaxFun Extravaganza on Friday March 31! Starting at 7pm Pacific/10pm Eastern, we'll be livestreaming a fun show full of MaxFun hosts and pals. Visit the Maximum Fun website to check it out!

Plus Judge Hodgman is still doing his Instagram shoutouts to donors at the leadership level - hear more about it on this episode.

Xander brings the case against his twin brother, Brendan. They don’t know for certain if they are fraternal or identical twins. Xander wants to take a zygosity test to find the answer. But, Brendan is opposed! Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Brianne Sherman for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 305: In-lawful Gathering

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It's MaxFunDrive time! Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support!

You can meet up with other fans on MaxFun Meetup Day, March 28th! Find one in your area here, or email us if you want to set one up in your city.

Plus Judge Hodgman is still doing his Instagram shoutouts to donors at the leadership level - hear more about it on this episode.

Reuben brings the case against his wife, Megan. They live in a small neighborhood near several family members. They have dinner with the extended family five nights a week, with family members rotating cooking responsibilities. Reuben wants to opt out of the family dinner co-op but Megan likes the arrangement.

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Rich Davis for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 304: The Emoluments Pause

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Tamara brings the case against her husband, Aaron. Tamara says their kids have too many toys with nowhere to store them. She wants to put a moratorium on incoming gifts for one year. Aaron thinks this is too extreme.

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Mike Bruni for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 303: Oculus Miffed

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Matt brings the case against his girlfriend, Amber. Matt wants to convert their master bedroom into a virtual reality room. But Amber would rather keep the bedroom the way it is.

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Craig Eliason for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 302: Live From Philadelphia, PA 2016

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Guests: 
Robert Hicks
Guests: 
Cynthia Hopkins

"Un Chien En Deluge" and Swift Justice taped in front of a live audience at the Trocadero Theatre in Philadelphia, PA on September 20, 2016 during the Tour of Live Justice! Plus, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn catch up with Robert Hicks of the Mütter Museum and Nick and Sara from Episode 94: Bleached and Mounted Bones of Contention. And songs from Cynthia Hopkins!

For Cynthia's music and podcast Moving to Philadelphia, visit CynthiaHopkins.com! If you're in NYC, she'll be performing her new show Articles of Faith from June 15 through the 17 at The Kitchen.

Here is the Dogville short the Judge had Bailiff Jesse watch during the show:

UPDATE!
Listener Melissa wrote in about this week's episode. She is the training director New England Dog Training Club and had some thoughts about dog footwear. She wrote (emphasis ours):

Salt on sidewalks in cities, specifically, can literally burn the pads of the feet. That funny dance the dog does when it is in contact with salt is a dog trying desperately to stop the burning on their delicate paws. Secondly, sidewalks are not insulated so my veterinarian friends see several cases every year of frostbite on the paws, burns on the paws from sidewalk chemicals, and slices on the inside of the dog paws from ice that gets into the paws -- injury that only gets worse when salt literally gets in those wounds.

In the summer, again, sidewalks aren't insulated and were designed for we people to walk on said sidewalks with shoes. These sidewalks can literally burn the pads of dogs' feet (I've had students walk dogs in the summer and end up with 2nd and 3rd degree burns on their dogs feet). If you can't hold the back of your hand on the sidewalk for a count of 10, it's too hot or cold for the dog to take a walk without appropriate barrier protection - boots.

I grew up in a dogsledding family in rural Maine, so when Jesse said "Who here has run the Iditarod," I laughed because I sort of did! I was only shoved in a locker once as a result of that nerd-badge :) We used boots on our dogs to protect against ice, sticks, and rocks slicing open their feet. But the chemical burns were not a concern. Running through puffy snow wasn't as much of a concern (snow is insulating), but packed snow tends to have ruffage, sticks, nature poking through - this stuff can really slice open those feet.

So yes on sweaters on those that need it. Yes on booties for all dogs in the city during the winter at least.

Thanks Melissa for this important information!

Thank you to Nick Marritz for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 301: Married to the Ghost of George Washington

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers and clearing the docket this week. They rule on properly making the bed, whether or not a 12 year old should be able to get her ears pierced and more! Plus listener letters in response to Episode 292: Conifer Emptor.

Here's a photo of Eva's tree, decorated with lit candles:

Thank you, Eva!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 300: Robe Hate Court

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Snowflake brings the case against her husband, Oge. Oge has worn the same bathrobe for the last 25 years and Snowflake would like him to get rid of it. Oge says it’s a perfectly good robe and he wants to keep it. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

You can find Oge's Star Wars figures on Instagram @starrwarrsphotography.

Thank you to Andrew McNair & Brick Sprickly for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 299: When I Say Justice, You Say Served

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Chelsey brings the case against her partner, Kevin. Kevin refuses to join in during audience participation portions of live shows. Chelsey thinks it’s part of the deal they make as audience members. But, Kevin doesn’t enjoy becoming part of the show. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thank you to Eli Dennewitz for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 298: Live From Brooklyn, NY 2016 Part 2

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Guests: 
Jean Grae
Guests: 
PitchBlak Brass Band
Guests: 
Holly Ivey

Caution: There are unbleeped swear words that happen during the musical portions of this episode. If you are listening with kids, keep that in mind.

"Good Coif, Bad Coif" and "Silence of the Jams," taped in front of a live audience at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY on September 19, 2016 during the Tour of Live Justice! Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn also catch up with Dave King, a friend of the show and listener who lived in Antarctica. Plus, beloved Guest Bailiff Jean Grae joins the show as musical guest AND Expert Witness. And the return of PitchBlak Brass Band!

Huge thanks to Holly Ivey, Jean Grae and PitchBlak Brass Band for joining us at the Bell House! You can find Jean on Twitter @JeanGreasy. You can also catch her Church of the Infinite You at Union Hall in Brooklyn on Sundays.

PitchBlak Brass Band is on tour this month! You can check our their dates at PitchBlakBrassBand.com.

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Ian Brodie and Allie Hoover for suggesting this week's titles! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 297: First Come, First Seat, Third Served

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We are in chambers this week while Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket! They settle disputes regarding second screening while watching TV with your partner, the past tense of "text," seating in casual restaurants and more! Plus listener letters about the U.S. Postal Service!

For information about the National Postal Museum, click here! And here's a photo of Owney, the dog and mascot of the Railway Service!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 296: Witnessing the Badger

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Tobyas brings the case against his wife Rachel. Rachel catches and rescues animals in distress and Tobyas would like her to stop. She thinks it’s important to be compassionate. But, he is concerned with the risks involved now that they have a baby. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Click here to see the badger photo Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn discussed on this episode.

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY TOBYAS:

Evidence item 1
Tobyas says:
"The CDC states that in order to quickly test for rabies, the suspected animal must be euthanized so it's brain tissue can be used in the testing process. The best way to prolong the life of a wild animal is to leave it alone."

Evidence item 2
Tobyas says:
"This widely shared blogpost features the story of some concerned tourists whose well intentioned actions lead to the euthanization of a baby bison. Their advice for helping a wild animal is to 'Leave it alone.'"

SUBMITTED BY RACHEL:

Thank you to Jessica White for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 295: The Hallowed Y'alls of Justice

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Alexandra brings the case against her mother, Dale. Whenever Dale travels, she likes to adopt the local accent in conversation with those around her. Alexandra is embarrassed every time she does this and wishes she would stop. Who's right? Who's wrong?

If you want to listen to the Dick Van Dyke interview on Bullseye that was referenced in this episode, you can find it here.

EVIDENCE

Here's a comprehensive list of Alexandra's Googlings:

A) “I urge you all never to mimic another person’s accent without permission, and here is why […] I understand that for many people I’ve met, mimicking my accent is not something that is done out of spite. Most would assure me the reason they do it is because they like it, and I too am guilty of copying an accent out of admiration. However, when someone tries to impersonate me, two things happen: They do an awful job at it, and I instantly feel like a joke.”
-Excerpt from the article “Don’t Do A British Accent” by Gena-Mour Barrett

B) "My favourite (sarcasm) are the people who think because I am white and British it is acceptable to imitate my accent when having a conversation. Now if I were Indian would they do the same? I think not. Just like the author said. We are not here to amuse and entertain you."
-From this webpage (comments section)

C) "What is cultural appropriation? Cultural appropriation is the adoption or theft of icons, rituals, aesthetic standards, and behavior from one culture or subculture by another. It generally is applied when the subject culture is a minority culture or somehow subordinate in social, political, economic, or military status to the appropriating culture."
-From this webpage

D) "Just because it doesn’t affect you personally doesn’t mean it’s not oppressive."
-From this webpage

E) “The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self.”
―Fred Rogers

Submitted by Dale:

Statement #1, from Dale’s friend Sarah (interview between Dale and Sarah).

Statement #2, from Dale’s younger daughter, Olivia.

Statement #3, from Dale’s friend, Marie, a Franco-American.

Thank you to David Dwyer for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 294: Live From Brooklyn, NY 2016

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Guests: 
PitchBlak Brass Band

Caution: There are unbleeped swear words that happen during the musical portions of this episode. If you are listening with kids, keep that in mind.

"Shut Your Drawer Hole" and "The Most Important Trial of the Day," taped in front of a live audience at one of two shows recorded at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY on September 19, 2016 during the Tour of Live Justice! Plus, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn catch up with Jenny and Erin from Episode 186: The Commune-ish Manifesto and songs from PitchBlak Brass Band!

You can still sign up for the Judge John Hodgman's Justice Through the Ages T-Shirt subscription! You have until Friday 1/6/17 to get your hands on those tees designed by the wonderful Adam Koford, Tamara Shopsin, Tom Deja, Yellowhammer Creative of Birmingham, AL, Peter Good, Aaron Draplin, Kyle Sauter, Sam Potts and Divya Srivinasan!

Tickets for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest can be found at bit.ly/JUDGMENTBYTHEBAY! Click here for tickets to MaxFunCon and MaxFunCon East before they run out!

EVIDENCE

Here are some photos submitted as evidence in the dispute, "Shut Your Drawer Hole!"

Thank you to Sarahjane Dube and Teddy Hose for suggesting this week's titles! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 293: Woodsy Bob Newhart

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Guests: 
Nick Offerman

This week, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket with the help of Deputy Judge Nick Offerman! The Judge, Bailiff and Deputy Judge rule on cocktail drinking etiquette, mail protocol and more! Plus some listener letters regarding previous episodes.

Nick's newest book, Good Clean Fun: Misadventures in Sawdust at Offerman Woodshop, is available wherever books are sold. His latest movie, The Founder, opens nationwide on January 20th.

Tickets for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest can be found at bit.ly/JUDGMENTBYTHEBAY! Click here for tickets to Maximum Fun's Very Very Fun Day!

We need cases for JJHo at SF Sketchfest and at Very Very Fun Day in Chicago! To submit a case for either live show, visit MaximumFun.org/jjho!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 292: Conifer Emptor

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Michael brings the case against his husband, Matthew. For the last several years, the two of them have used an artificial Christmas tree during the holiday season. Matthew prefers live trees and would like to introduce one to their home but Michael is strongly against the idea. Who’s right, who’s wrong?

Tickets for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest can be found at bit.ly/JUDGMENTBYTHEBAY! Click here for tickets to Maximum Fun's Very Very Fun Day!

We need cases for JJHo at SF Sketchfest and at Very Very Fun Day in Chicago! To submit a case for either live show, visit MaximumFun.org/jjho!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY MICHAEL:

1. “Real Christmas trees constitutes a much more substantial fire risk. So much so that the City of Honolulu, in adopting national fire protection policies, has banned the use of real trees in public places.” More info on that can be found here.

2. A Christmas tree safety flyer, linked from the FEMA webpage.
Michael says, “To the extent that the fire risks of a real tree can be mitigated, it’s by watering them every day (which we won’t be able to do, given that we’ll be out of state). It stands to reason that the importance of watering the tree daily to keep it from drying out similarly applies to aesthetic and housekeeping concerns.”

3. Michael says, "Even if we were able to keep the tree watered, both the tree water and the tree itself would be a danger to our cats," according to Are Christmas Trees Safe For Cats?. Here is the relevant excerpt:
"Live, cut Christmas trees can be deadly for cats. Pine needles can be ingested and puncture intestines, and pine is highly toxic to cats, potentially causing liver damage and death. Additionally, the water that cut trees are placed into is toxic. It usually contains pine resin, preservatives and fire retardants.”

"This is further attested by PetMd":
"There are other dangers to consider with the good ol' Yule tree other than lights and ornaments. The oils produced by fir trees can be irritating to a pet's mouth and stomach, causing excessive vomiting or drooling. The tree needles, meanwhile, may cause gastrointestinal irritation, obstruction and puncture. Additionally, the water used to nourish Christmas trees can be noxious. Bacteria, molds, and fertilizers can cause your pet to become extremely sick with only a few laps.”

"Both of our cats are extremely fascinated with water and like to play with it. I’ve attached a video of them proving as much. It’s worth noting that the waterer pictured is one that we settled on after they splashed about in a more open one and knocked over multiple times one that stores water in a tank above."

4. "Artificial trees are actually more traditional than live ones," according to this article:
"In fact, the first written records of Christmas trees being used in what would become the United States date back to the 1740s. The children of German settlers in Pennsylvania decorated wooden pyramids with evergreen branches and affixed candles to the branches. The first Christmas trees in America were, in fact, artificial.”

5. "Artificial trees are more environmentally friendly, or, at least are not significantly worse for the environment." More here:
“If the artificial tree is kept more than 4 years, the Global Warming Potential associated with the artificial tree is less than a natural tree purchased every year for more than 4 years. The impact of the tree life cycle, for all scenarios, is less than 0.1% of a person’s annual carbon footprint and therefore is negligible within the context of the average American’s lifestyle.”

6. "The City of Boston gives us two opportunities to dispose of a real tree: January 3rd and January 10th." -- Boston's Trash Day Schedule.

SUBMITTED BY MATTHEW:

1. “The majority of real Christmas trees come from managed plantations, supporting hundreds of thousands of acres of trees being continuously planted, cut down, and replenished, on farmland that may not support other forms of agriculture.” 2012 Census of Agriculture data on Cut Christmas Trees: 2012 and 2007

2. “Real Christmas trees can be recycled after they are used, and as such can be given a new life, in a variety of ways, either as mulch, erosion barriers, or even to recreate sand dunes, as in NJ, our home state, after Hurricane Sandy. Boston also runs a recycling program for the first two weeks of January.”
Info on tree recycling can be found here and here.

3. “Further, it seems that a real tree may be necessary for the celebration of Christmas.
Judge John Hodgman has previously ruled on this matter: ‘Well, I hate to break it to you Peter, but the thirty Christmases you’ve so called celebrated, while using a fake tree, do not count as Christmas, in fact you have never celebrated Christmas, because a fake tree just will not cut it. The whole point is to bring nature into your home particularly an evergreen… and you need to have that actual tree there, staring at you, throughout the dark winter period, to give you hope to go on, and then you have to slowly kill it to give you strength to move on into the next year.’” (Judge John HodgmanEpisode 8 To Tree or Not to Tree)

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Thank you to Rob Calabrese for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 291: First Whirlpool Problems

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Courtney brings the case against her husband, Josh. They want to get a hot tub for their home but cannot agree on which type to buy. Josh wants a charming, wood fired cedar tub. Courtney wants a more practical standard fiberglass tub. Who’s right, who’s wrong?

Tickets for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest can be found at bit.ly/JUDGMENTBYTHEBAY! Click here for tickets to Maximum Fun's Very Very Fun Day!

We need cases for JJHo at SF Sketchfest and at Very Very Fun Day in Chicago! To submit a case for either live show, visit MaximumFun.org/jjho!

EVIDENCE

Here are some photos submitted as evidence in this dispute:

Thank you to Anne Mandola Jones for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 290: A Jury of Your Tears

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Guests: 
Jean Grae

Donny brings the case against his roommate, Glenn. Glenn tends to cook quesadillas in their shared New York City apartment several times a week. Donny finds that the smell of peppers and onions is too powerful to handle and wants Glenn to vary his cooking routine. With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae!

Big thanks to our Guest Bailiff Jean Grae for joining us this week! You can find her on Twitter @JeanGreasy.

You can also catch her Church of the Infinite You at Union Hall in Brooklyn every other Sunday at 3pm. The next Church of the Infinite You takes place on December 18th. December 24th will be a Special Blowout Christmas service at 8pm. Jean is working on getting livestream up for that. If you would like to help, you can join her patreon at patreon.com/jeangrae.

Jean’s live talk show, The Show Show, returns to Union Hall Wednesday Dec 7th with guests Baratunde Thurston, Aparna Nancherla and a special to-be-announced guest. The show is at 8 pm and will be the first Wednesday of every month.

Tickets for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest can be found at bit.ly/JUDGMENTBYTHEBAY! Click here for tickets to Maximum Fun's Very Very Fun Day!

We need cases for JJHo at SF Sketchfest and at Very Very Fun Day in Chicago! To submit a case for either live show, visit MaximumFun.org/jjho!

Thank you to Paul Ruh & Tom Brinton for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 289: Live From Boston, MA 2016

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Guests: 
Juliana Hatfield
Guests: 
Ken Reid

"Sole Custody" and "Law and Gag Order," taped in front of a live audience in Boston, MA on September 18, 2016 during the Tour of Live Justice! Plus, Swift Justice, Expert Witness Ken Reid of TV Guidance Counselor and songs from Juliana Hatfield!

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out Heena's Powerpoint presentation from "Law and Gag Order!"

Here are some photos taken by Zac Wolf and follow up photos from the Swift Justice case between running siblings Lisa and Andy:

Thank you to Stephen Coughlin and Michael Toscano for suggesting this week's titles! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 288: Are We Fair Yet?

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Guests: 
Jean Grae

Jeff brings the case against his girlfriend, Megan. When they go on road trips, Megan thinks they need to equally split driving responsibilities, even though she doesn’t enjoy driving. Jeff is happy to drive long distances, and doesn’t think splitting is necessary. With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae!

Big thanks to our Guest Bailiff Jean Grae for joining us this week! You can find her on Twitter @JeanGreasy.

You can also catch her Church of the Infinite You at Union Hall in Brooklyn every other Sunday at 3pm. Church of the Infinite You returns on Dec 4th and then on the 18th. December 24th will be a Special Blowout Christmas service at 8pm. Jean is working on getting livestream up for that. If you would like to help, you can join her patreon at patreon.com/jeangrae.

Jean’s live talk show, The Show Show, returns to Union Hall Wednesday Dec 7th with guests Baratunde Thurston, Aparna Nancherla and a special to-be-announced guest. The show is at 8 pm and will be the first Wednesday of every month.

Tickets for Judge John Hodgman at San Francisco Sketchfest can be found at bit.ly/JUDGMENTBYTHEBAY!

Thank you to Ryan Byers for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 287: A Betrayal of Crust

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Sam brings the case against his wife, Valerie. They gave Sam’s mother a Pie-of-the-Month subscription for her birthday last year, but were secretly baking the pies themselves. Sam’s mom still doesn’t know they are the bakers behind her beloved pies. Valerie wants to tell her the truth, but Sam thinks they should keep it a secret.

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out the literature that arrived with the pies from Sam and Valerie's fictional business!

Thank you to Craig Price for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 286: Grass Action Lawsuit

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Daniel brings the case against his fiancee, Bernadette. They cannot decide what type of yard they will have in their future home. Daniel would like a large, green lawn but Bern thinks that's too suburban and boring. She prefers a yard full of wildflowers and vegetables.

As mentioned in the episode, here is a video of "Dana Gould as Maurice Evans as Dr. Zaius as Hal Holbrook as Mark Twain" at SF Sketchfest 2012:

And, click here to check out the Des Moines flag!

Thank you to Jennifer Small for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 285: Hostile Fitness

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Heather brings the case against her husband, Joe. Joe is too competitive with Heather’s mother when she initiates challenges with him through a fitness tracking app they both use. Because of this, he has chosen to opt out of her challenges. Heather thinks these fitness challenges are a good way for them to be in touch and wants him to play along.

Thank you to Jon Barr for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 284: Live From Turners Falls, MA 2016

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte
Guests: 
Emily Brewster
Guests: 
Zara Bode

Caution: There is a swear word that was not bleeped in this episode. If you are listening with kids, keep that in mind.

"May It Please The Shorts" and "Amphibious Corpus," taped in front of a live audience at Shea Theater in Turners Falls, MA during the 2016 Tour of Live Justice! Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn also catch up with friends of the court, Monte Belmonte and Emily Brewster! Plus, the return of Swift Justice and songs from Zara Bode of The Sweetback Sisters!

To keep up with what's happening at Shea Theater, check out SheaTheater.org. To check tour dates and ticket links for The Sweetback Sisters' December tour, visit TheSweetbackSisters.com. Their new record, "King of Killing Time" will be out May 2017 on Signature Sounds.

Thank you to Jason Fifi and Matthew Tolzman for suggesting this week's case titles! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 283: Pile of Pits

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are back from their tour and clearing the docket. They will rule on litterbugs, reimbursing family members and more. Plus, another edition of “Status Conference!” The Judge and Bailiff catch up with Becky and Nancy from Episode 166: My Legal Pony.

To check out John Hodgman’s live appearances, visit JohnHodgman.com/tour . To sign up for his Lifestyle newsletter, you can sign up at bit.ly/hodgmail. Ticket information for JJGo at the Now Hear This Festival can be found at NowHearThisFest.com. To see Bullseye at the Chicago Podcast Festival, visit ChicagoPodcastFestival.org.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 282: Live from Portland, Maine 2016

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Guests: 
Joel Mann
Guests: 
David Raitt

"Text of Kin" and "Triple Word Scorn," taped in front of a live audience in Portland, ME during the 2016 Tour of Live Justice! Plus, Swift Justice and songs from Joel Mann and David Raitt!

EVIDENCE

Thank you to Thomas Nohalty and Alison Kothe Nihlean for suggesting this week's titles! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 281: Separation of Church and Date

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Chris brings his girlfriend, Sandra, to court over their disagreement about what counts as going to church. He has agreed to attend church services with her a few times a year but thinks that going to weddings with specific religious elements should count. Sandra disagrees.

Thank you to Alex Pang for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 280: Improvable Cause

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Madeline files suit against her friend, Jason. They formed an improv group together and Madeline would love to perform a type of improv that is a little out of the box and not normally done in their hometown of Chicago. Jason insists that this form is silly and he is strongly opposed.

Thank you again to everyone who submitted their cases for the Live Justice Tour, and to everyone who came to see the show! If you have a case to submit to the podcast, please visit MaximumFun.org/JJHo!

Thank you to Angela Christine Fraser for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 279: Blind Justice

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte
Guests: 
Joel Mann

Judge John Hodgman is in chambers this week with his Summertime Funtime Tribunal! Monte Belmonte and Joel Mann help the judge rule on gum etiquette, condiment sharing, hot chocolate labeling and more! Plus a listener-provided explanation of Cincinnati style chili.

We want to express our huge thanks to Monte Belmonte at WRSI and Joel Mann at WERU for their help this summer! Have a great year, Joel and Monte. We'll see you two next summer!

And thank you to everyone who has joined us at our Live Justice tour of the Northeast United States. To get our last few London Podcast Festival tickets, check the right hand side of this page or go to JudgeHodgman.com/Tour!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 278: Feast and Desist

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Kandace brings the case against her fiance, Weston. For the last few years, the two of them have hosted their friends for an annual Thanksgiving-themed dinner party. This year, Weston would like for someone else to take charge. But Kandace loves to host and doesn’t want to give up control of the event.

With Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte! 

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY KANDACE:

Thank you to Kimberly Mayhall for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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If you are in or near London, make sure to check out Judge John Hodgman, as well as other Maximum Fun shows Bullseye, International Waters and Beef & Dairy Network at the LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL September 22-26! Check out the right side of this page or JohnHodgman.com/Tour for links and more information!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 277: Mommy Nearest

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Julie is filing suit against her mother, Amy. Amy has begun attending the same gym and workout class as Julie. Julie, however, wishes for her exercise time to remain her own, free from her mother.

With Summertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Thank you to Eric Rapp for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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You can still buy tickets for select cities on the Judge John Hodgman Live Justice tour! Check out the right side of this page or JohnHodgman.com/Tour for links and more information!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 276: Hallmark of Justice

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Judy files suit against her husband, Jayson, because he has stopped giving her Mother's Day cards. Jayson argues that she’s not his mother, so he shouldn’t be held responsible. Judy believes he should be setting a good example for their kids and would like to feel appreciated. Who's right? Who's wrong?

With Summertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY JUDY:

SUBMITTED BY JAYSON:

Click here for an article on Mother's Day history. As Jayson says, “Not one word of wife, only a child honoring his/her mother. Plus, origins in Greek methodology and roman history similar to Saint Valentine’s Day, which now like Mother’s Day, should not be celebrated by Jews due to its pagan origins.”

Thank you to Warren Savage for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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You can still buy tickets for select cities on the Judge John Hodgman Live Justice tour! Check out the right side of this page or JohnHodgman.com/Tour for links and more information!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 275: Motion to Strike a Pose

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Guests: 
Dave Shumka
Guests: 
Graham Clark

Do you live in Portland (Maine), Boston, Turners Falls, Brooklyn, Philadelphia, Washington DC or London? Do you have a dispute you'd like to try before Judge John Hodgman LIVE? Submit your case at maximumfun.com/jjho! No case too big or too small! If the show in your city is sold out and you don't have a ticket, don't worry. We will make sure you can get in and see the show!

Justin files suit against his fiancee, Sarah. They are recently engaged and Sarah would like to take professionally shot engagement photos. Justin thinks engagement photos are silly and he is opposed to the idea.

With Guest Bailiffs Dave Shumka and Graham Clark of Stop Podcasting Yourself!

Thank you to Paul Ruest at Argot Studios and Joel Mann at WERU Community Radio for engineering this week's episode! Judge Hodgman has been recording most of the summer from WERU Community Radio with huge help from Joel Mann. WERU is a listener supported, non-commercial radio station serving Midcoast, Downeast and Central Maine. The station was recently struck by lightning and is in the process of repairing many radio station elements that were effected. They accept donations here.

Thank you to Maxwell Grant for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 274: This is the Sound of a Raffle

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Guests: 
Dave Shumka
Guests: 
Graham Clark

Do you live in Portland (Maine), Boston, Turners Falls, Brooklyn, Philadelphia or London? Do you have a dispute you'd like to try before Judge John Hodgman LIVE? Submit your case at maximumfun.org/jjho! No case too big or too small!

Stephanie files suit against her friend Sewit. They are both members of a Las Vegas community service group that often uses raffles for fundraising. Stephanie thinks members of their group should be prohibited from entering the raffles, but Sewit has no problem with it.

With Guest Bailiffs Dave Shumka and Graham Clark of Stop Podcasting Yourself!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY STEPHANIE:

“This is a photo of our most recent raffle items. Items included San Diego Comic Con exclusives/swag plus a signed photo of Flash Gordon star Sam Jones. He donated it to us at the Las Vegas convention we were holding the raffle at because he is a total sweetheart.”

Affidavit from Very Awesome Girls member Crystella:
"I believe members should not be able to enter our own raffles because it could cause others who enter to lose trust on our group. We know we are being fair but if someone in our group wins people may feel it's unfair and lose faith in our group."

SUBMITTED BY SEWIT:

Affidavit from Very Awesome Girls member Desiree:
"I'm pro members entering our own raffles because our raffles are always intended to help a needy cause in our community. Why not get as much help as you can get?

I understand that it may look bad for one of our own members to win the raffle, but I've been told the alternative is to enter in someone else's name. Isn't being deceitful to our supporters worse?

Also, then if I do win the raffle, I have to make sure none of the prizes are ever showing in the pics I post on social media, I can't live with this paranoia!"

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To donate to any of the causes mentioned in this episode, here's the information:

Street Teens
Street Teens is a volunteer based, non-profit organization dedicated to assisting homeless, abandoned, and at risk youth, ages 12-21, in the Las Vegas Valley. Our primary goal is to meet the survival needs of our youth by providing basic necessities in a safe, compassionate environment. The Very Awesome Girls are currently collecting school supplies for their next meeting for Street Teens.

Palomacy (Pigeon Rescue)
Palomacy (a project of Community Initiatives) is a network of volunteers working together to save the lives of domestic, unreleasable pigeons and doves that would otherwise be killed in shelters for lack of adopters. Palomacy is Bay Area based but the founder, Elizabeth Young, is helping with the new Vegas based pigeon rescue, which is still applying for non-profit status. So donations go through Palomacy.

WERU Community Radio
Judge Hodgman has been recording most of the summer from WERU Community Radio with huge help from Joel Mann. WERU is a listener supported, non-commercial radio station serving Midcoast, Downeast and Central Maine. The station was recently struck by lightning and is in the process of repairing many radio station elements that were effected.

Thank you to Ian Brodie for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 273: Big Chomp

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket on this week's episode. They rule on dish washing, unusual names, a roommate parking dispute and more!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 272: On Advice of Console

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

On Judge John Hodgman this week, Tarah brings her husband, Jason, to court over their disagreement about video game consoles. Tarah would like to buy a console for their two kids, but Jason is strongly opposed. Who's right? Who's wrong?

With Summertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Thank you to Sebastián Luis Chávez for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 271: Divan Judgment

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Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Glenys files suit against her husband, Jim. Glenys would like to buy a couch for their living room but Jim thinks couches are too uncomfortable. He thinks a daybed is a better solution for living room seating.

With Summertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

EVIDENCE

Here is a photo of Glenys and Jim's current bed-bed:

Thank you to Danny Lewin for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 270: The Night to Remain Silent

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Ian files suit against his girlfriend, N’Jameh, over her habit of memorizing her lines at bedtime. N'Jameh has found in her acting experience, memorizing her lines as she falls asleep is the best way for her to remember. Ian, however, finds it too hard to sleep when she does this and wishes for the bedroom to be a work-free zone. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY IAN

Click here to check out the blueprint of Ian and N'Jameh's apartment in New York City!

SUBMITTED BY N'JAMEH

Click here to check out N'Jameh's website!

Thank you to Stephen Lipenta for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 269: Object the Halls With Boughs of Justice

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It's Christmas in July!

Mark and Hal of Maximum Fun's own We Got This released an episode naming a popular Christmas movie as the definitive best Christmas movie. Mark regrets the choice and has tried several times to convince Hal to re-evaluate. While Mark seeks to get the decision reversed, Hal would like to prohibit Mark from bringing it up again. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY HAL

Text conversation between Mark (in gray) and Hal (in blue) after recording the Best Christmas Movie episode:
MarkHalText

Text conversation between Mark's girlfriend, Juliana (in gray), and Hal (in blue), which Juliana initiated right after Mark texted Hal:
Juliana-Text-Hal

If you want to listen to the We Got This episodes referenced, they are Episode #43 "Best Christmas Movie," and Episode #52 "The One Year Anniversary Spectacular."

Thank you to Steve Marois for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 268: Assault and Hey Batter Battery

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Naomi brings the case against her husband, Spencer. She’s embarrassed by his loud and incessant heckling at baseball games. It’s fun for him and he thinks major league players are fair game. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Naomi

“Votto said he was not faking out the kids that waited by the dugout, but instead an adult that was heckling him. Votto held the ball in the air, faked the throw two times, and then walked down the dugout steps and laughed.”
- A quote from this article about Cincinnati Reds' Joey Votto denying a child a foul ball, as a result of Spencer's heckling.

Here's the City Paper comic that the judge quoted in this week's cultural reference:
Little Pete's Diner comic

Thank you to James Callan for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 267: Deadly Poke Bush

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week as they clear the docket! They discuss how to handle dropped silverware in restaurants, whether or not you should bring an open bottle of wine to a gathering, a contentious game of Trivial Pursuit, and more!

Plus letters regarding Bonus Episode Livin' That CALI415 Life and Episode 158: Tipping the Scales of Justice.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 266: Exit, Stage Fright

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Guests: 
Andrew from JJHo Episode 151: Sic Semper Dramatis

If you want to purchase a Kung Pao Finance Factory t-shirt, inspired by last week's episode, TIME IS RUNNING OUT! You may purchase a t-shirt here, through June 22!

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Tom brings the case against his friend Trinity. Trinity longs to be discovered and believes she was “born for the theater.” Despite her enthusiasm for theater and performing, she refuses to try community theater. He thinks she should get over her fear and go for it. Who's right? Who's wrong?

This week, with Expert Witness Andrew from Judge John Hodgman Episode 151: Sic Semper Dramatis!

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Tom

Click here to watch the video of Trinity singing "Proud Mary" at Karaoke!

Thank you to Trevor Haworth & Eli Dennewitz for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 265: Dad Nauseum

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Daniel brings the case against his dad, Kevin. He says Kevin overuses the same joke with service industry workers, which the rest of the family finds embarrassing. Kevin thinks it’s a funny joke that brightens people’s day. Who's right, who's wrong?

Here is a recording of "Kung Pao Chicken" by David Tao:

You can buy the t-shirt inspired by this week's episode FOR A LIMITED TIME here!

Thank you to Chris Fazio for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 264: Paw and Order

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Guests: 
Monica Murphy
Guests: 
Emily Brewster

Martha brings the case against her boyfriend, Chase. She says Chase is set on taking their cats outside on leashes, but she thinks they should stay indoors. Chase says the cats have expressed interest in the outdoors and would benefit from a safe and supervised adventure.

With Expert Witness, Monica Murphy, veterinarian and co-author of Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus!

PLUS, the debut of our segment, "Jesse and Me Talk Good," with Merriam-Webster's Emily Brewster. Judge Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse and Emily discuss a matter of SETTLED LAW and Merriam-Webster's declaration that a hot dog IS a sandwich!

Thank you to Kimberly Mayhall for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Martha

The video referenced in this article, which shows Jackson Galaxy teaching Stephanie Clifford of The New York Times how to walk a cat on a leash:

Submitted by Chase

"Not all cats will want to be walked on a leash, but every cat should be given the opportunity.
Walking a cat can provide your pet with a more enriched life. 'A lot of cats love to go outside and smell things, see things and roll around in sand and grass and dirt. They love to scratch real trees. Those are things they can do on a walk,' Woodard said."
From this Huffington Post article.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 263: In Combat Chambers

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week, discussing listening to Hamilton before seeing the show, the famous noise from Law and Order, the sporty merits of cheerleading and more!

Plus, some letters in response to Episode 258, In Moto Parentis.

Tickets are still on sale for Judge John Hodgman's Live East Coast Tour! Get them while you still can! Check out the right hand side of this page or visit www.johnhodgman.com/tour!

Do you have a case for Judge John Hodgman? We're always taking submissions at maximumfun.org/jjho. If you're hoping to try your case live in front of an audience at one of the East Coast dates, please let us know your city in your submission!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 262: Capital T and That Rhymes With P and That Stands for Justice

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket and rule on pizza ordering, when to watch the next season of Game of Thrones, cereal dust, learning to drive as an adult and more.

Judge John Hodgman is going on tour to dispense live justice with Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Mark your calendars and get your tickets! Check out the right hand side of this page or visit www.johnhodgman.com/tour!

Here's a list of Hong Kong recommendations from listener Joseph, in reference to the Baggage Claims episode:

Take the airport train into the city and get off at Kowloon station. The station is connected to the International Commerce Center, which has a bar on the top floor (the 118th) called Ozone. It's in the Ritz Carlton, and the concierge will offer to store your bags while you go up (it's free and not as awkward as it sounds). The bar itself is a little too sleek for its own good, but even if you're not a member of the Mossack Fonseca crowd, it's worth going for the view. Order a beer and go to the semi-enclosed outdoor area and you'll look across the harbor and see the world's most impressive skyline from its tallest building. Not bad!

In terms of food, Hong Kong is best know for two things: dim sum and siu mei (the roast meat you see hanging in restaurant windows). For dim sum, if you're not afraid to go local and fight their way past the hungry grandmas, I would go to Lin Heung (two locations: one in Central and the other in Sheung Wan, both on Hong Kong island). They're both very local and well established, but the staff probably won't know much English. The other option is to go to a more foreigner-friendly place where they can order from a menu. There's no shame in this option and I would suggest Dim Sum Square in Sheung Wan. Sheung Wan is our kind of hipster neighborhood, so you can check out the galleries and cafes and whatever on Tai Ping Shan Street.

For siu mei, the heavy hitter is Joy Hing, which is located near the bar district in Wan Chai. It's been around forever and has or had a Michelin star. I usually get a plate of rice and a mix of barbecue pork (char siu) and that crispy roasted pork with the snappy skin (siu yuk). But really the standard of all these siu mei places is quite high, so you can pop into any shop you see. My neighborhood spot-- Sun Yuen on Queen's Road West--is great too. Wherever you go, it shouldn't cost more than maybe 6 USD.

As for going out, my favorite spot is Visage 1. By day it's a single-chair salon on a hidden alley down some steps from one of the nightlight areas (Soho). On Saturday nights, however, it turns into a jazz(ish) bar. It gets incredibly cramped (there's no stage), but there's always excellent live music. You don't have to be a "jazz person" to enjoy it. I spent one of my best nights there getting jabbed in the ribs by the bow of a fiddler in a bluegrass band comprised of off-duty Disney performers.

I'd also suggest you stroll around Mong Kok, which is the neighborhood people think of when they think of Hong Kong. It's crowded and filled with those iconic neon lights (for now--the government is campaigning to reduce light pollution, so they won't be around much longer). The area around Public Square Street is a good spot for people watching and the kind of street life theater that makes it fun to live in a city: old people do their outdoor karaoke and there are a lot of sex shops and fortune tellers. There's one guy who uses a psychic bird to read your fortune. It can be a bit dodgy but you'll be fine. The neighborhood also is home to the city's Nepalese community and there's at least one great Filipino restaurant, Belinda's Food Trip, which I think is staffed by off-duty domestic helpers and the food is top notch. Fun to walk around in, especially at night.

Hong Kong isn't a cultural superpower, but there are some things to check out. Cantonese opera is a dying art, so you should catch a show at the Sunbeam Theatre before their lease expires. Nearby is Oi!, a exhibition space housed in a nice colonial building, and Parasite, a contemporary art center that gets artists from across Asia. Back across the harbor is an 'artist village' called Cattle Depot which has people doing interesting work; there's a great arts space there called Videotage which does a lot of installation art and new media stuff. And there's the burgeoning artistic hub in post-industrial spaces in Chai Wan, though I don't know much about it. The museums are all a bit meh, except for the charmingly awkward Geological Museum on the campus of Hong Kong University. Actually, across campus the University Museum has a decent collection of Chinese antiquities and paintings. Nice old-school tea room, too.

Finally, you should get out of the city. Two suggestions: hike/walk/ramble across a small mountain called Dragon's Back on the south side of HK island. It can be crowded (it's Hong Kong!) but it has beautiful views of the coast and you'll usually see a few paragliders in the sky. The trail ends near Shek O, a little beach town caught in the 60s. You can take a bus back to the city. Easy and worth it. The other choice is to spend a day on Cheung Chau island. The island doesn't allow cars and really there's just one fishing village, so it's pretty slow paced compared to the rest of HK. Good seafood too. You can walk around the island in a couple hours. There's also a decent beach there, which I think is where one of HK's few Olympic gold medalists learned to wind surf. Take the ferry from Pier 5 in Central to get there.

Also, it's a long flight, so there's plenty of time to read Ackbar Abbas' Hong Kong: Culture and Politics of Disappearance. I've never read a more insightful account of the forces that have shaped this city, both physically and culturally. It's probably at the library and worth a look.

One more tip: you definitely should not go to Lan Kwai Fong, our dystopian nightlife district, unless you're into getting vomited on by drunk Australians.

Thank you, Joseph!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 261: Grand Theft Risotto

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Guests: 
Kenji Lopez-Alt

KLAXON KLAXON Judge John Hodgman is going on tour to dispense live justice with Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Mark your calendars and get your tickets! Check out the right hand side of this page or visit www.johnhodgman.com/tour! That is all.

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Mike brings the case against his mom, Maribeth. He says Maribeth knowingly took her daughter-in-law's recipes for a family cookbook and passed them off as her own. Maribeth says that the attribution was implied and there was no wrongdoing.

This week with Expert Witness Kenji López-Alt, Managing Culinary Director of Serious Eats and author of The Food Lab!

Thanks to Jonathan Reiter for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Mike

Click to view the PDF of The Brogan Family Cookbook

Judge John Hodgman Episode 260: All Laws are Off

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Judge John Hodgman rules on overfilling ice cube trays, the best spelling of Elliot for a baby, dog park etiquette, podcast recommendations and more.

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And Check out David's Patreon to crush Matt!

If you're curious to know about Magic the Gathering methods suggested by listeners, you can find them below!

Hannah suggested that the friends play:
"Constructed, in which players make their decks ahead of time with whatever cards they can get their hands on. This format is the problem the plaintiff is complaining about.
Or drafting, where they each open a pack of cards and take turns picking cards from those packs until each has built a suitable deck for play. At which point, the two play with these new decks that did not exist prior to the game at hand."

Mark suggested another mode of play:
"I've used this one in friendly, non-tournament play and it helps even the playing field. Everyone brings their favorite decks, and each player randomly selects one of the decks that was brought." Essentially, each player has an equal chance of using an "overpowered" deck during a given match.

and Gabe thought of these:
Reject rare draft
(in which each player donates 45 cards and then drafts cards. The rares are "donated", as everyone takes home the deck they draft and no attempt is made to return the rares to the original owners.)

Peasant
(In Peasant a deck may contain up to 5 uncommon cards and the rest must be common. Peasant Magic was created by Rob Baranowski who felt that players with limited access to cards should still have an opportunity for competitive play.)

Back draft
(where each player tries to build the worst deck possible, because each player gives another player that deck to play in the tournament.)

Sponsored Bonus Episode: Livin' That CALI415 Life

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Guests: 
Rhea Butcher

BONUS: Judge John Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse Thorn and Expert Witness and Automotive Enthusiast Rhea Butcher clear an all-automobile-related docket in a sponsored bonus episode of Judge John Hodgman. They'll weigh in on whether you can avoid being a jerk with a vanity plate, how to decide whose car to drive to the malt shop, new-car advice, and more!

Rhea Butcher's upcoming show Take My Wife will be available on Seeso.

Here's an amazing extended list of best practices from listener and car expert Nick:

* Warming up your car in the winter. In the vast majority of instances, this is unnecessary. This is something that people typically do for their own comfort. They claim that the warm-up is good for the car, but they tell themselves that to assuage their guilt about wasting fuel, polluting unnecessarily, and perhaps doing more harm than good to their car. The crux, for most of these people, is dishonesty and laziness. The car is designed to be warmed up by driving gently until normal operating temperature is reached.

Exceptions include: older carbureted vehicles, sub-zero temperatures, some turbocharged vehicles

* Proper air conditioning use. The proper way to cool a car’s interior quickly after it’s been baking in the sun is to turn the A/C to the coldest setting, set the blower motor to high, be sure the intake is in the fresh air position (not recirculate), and roll all the windows down. This is the fastest way to get the car comfortably cool. I have a friend who refuses to believe this, claiming that the best practice is to keep the windows up. He is wrong and will stay wrong.

Exceptions include: rain, insect swarm, otherwise foul circumstances

A note on fresh air vs. recirculate: the best strategy is to keep the setting on fresh air, using the recirculate setting sparingly as conditions dictate. Keeping the selector set to recirculate all the time can lead to the car smelling stale, making the car’s owner “that guy” with the gross car. The smell comes on slowly enough that “that guy” is the last one to know how gross he is.

* Fast lane etiquette. The primary purpose of the far left lane is passing. Cruising in the left lane is not only rude and entitled, it often leads to clusters of traffic and encourages frustrated drivers to attempt to make up for lost time by speeding. Furthermore, the fast lane is no place to prove a point to the car behind you. The proper thing to do is make way for faster cars should they approach from behind, helping to prevent traffic clusters. The faster car, after remaining behind the slower car for a sensible amount of time, is permitted a quick flash of the headlights to signal the driver in front. That driver’s responsibility is to make way without taking offense.

Exceptions include: HOV lanes, heavy traffic, surface roads

* Clearing snow and ice before driving. All piled snow should be removed from the vehicle in a way which doesn’t cause damage to the paint. In most cases, a brush will suffice. Once bulk of the snow has been removed, every window and mirror on the car should be cleared entirely, along with every exterior light (brake lights, headlights, turn signals, etc.).

No exceptions.

Thanks, Nick!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 259: No Acquitting for Taste

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Abtin brings the case against his girlfriend Kelsey over the decor in their new apartment. Abtin wants to go modern and classy. Kelsey says that would be boring and wants furnishings that are more quirky and unique.

BONUS: In reference to the docket item submitted by home-schooled fantasy writer Hunter in Episode 252, we have an audio letter from the Fresh Bananaman Jonathan Niederer. Listen here!

Thanks to Karen Polowick for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Abtin

Judge John Hodgman Episode 258: In Moto Parentis

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Leigh files suit against her son Duncan. Duncan is ready to take to the open road on a motorcycle. His parents aren't fans of the idea, and want him to wait until he's older and can shoulder the cost and risk on his own.

Thanks to James Hupp for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

Or send in your case at www.maximumfun.org/jjho or by emailing hodgman@maximumfun.org!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 257: Jesse Finds a Crux

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Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear out the docket on free refills, open mics (or is it open MIKES?), canoe weekends and what to do if your friend recommends a book he hasn't actually read.

MaxFunCon East tickets on sale NOW! Join us over Labor Day for an all-inclusive weekend of live comedy, podcasts, music, and educational sessions.

And if you live in Los Angeles, tickets are also one sale to see Judge Hodgman perform his one man show, VACATIONLAND at the Largo on Thursday June 9th!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 256: Baggage Claims

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Ty files suit against her partner Zach. Zach is obsessed with earning and using airline points and miles. Ty also likes to travel, but she wants to give up the crazy schemes and choose their vacation destinations and itineraries the "normal" way. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to David Stephens for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

Or send in your case at www.maximumfun.org/jjho or by emailing hodgman@maximumfun.org!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 255: Anecdontal Evidence

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Guests: 
Teresa McElroy

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your support during the MaxFunDrive! We won't bother you for another year. And if you missed it, you can still join anytime at www.maximumfun.org/donate. We always appreciate your support.

With expert witness Teresa McElroy of Shmanners! Bob brings the case against his fiancee Alessandra. They have a "no boring stories" policy when they are at home together. Now Alessandra wants an exception for stories about the workplace. Should they change the rules? Only one man can decide.

Thanks to Jesse Huston for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 254: Greasy Rider

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Guests: 
Alton Brown

We're going strong in the second week of MaxFunDrive!!

Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support!

During MaxFunDrive, we hope you'll share your thoughts about the show with us and your friends. You can enter to win an the Breville Smart Oven in our Twitter contest - just Tweet the reason you give to MaxFun, or why others should, with the hashtag #ToastToMaxFun and the link www.maximumfun.org/donate.

Plus Judge Hodgman is still doing his Instagram shoutouts to donors at the leadership level - hear more about it on this episode.

With Special Expert Witness Alton Brown! Stephanie brings the case against her partner Jeff, who works as a chef. Jeff will often leave his smoky and bacon-y aprons and detritus in his car. Stephanie thinks that the car should remain neat and clean; Jeff says the mess is manageable, and comes with the job. Who's right? Who's wrong?

You can find Alton Brown on his website (where you can find recipes, tourdates and more) and on Twitter!

Thanks to Jon Combs for naming this week's episode!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 253: Decease and Desist

| 0 comments

It's MaxFunDrive time! Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support!

During MaxFunDrive, we hope you'll share your thoughts about the show with us and your friends. You can enter to win an the Breville Smart Oven in our Twitter contest - just Tweet the reason you give to MaxFun, or why others should, with the hashtag #ToastToMaxFun and the link www.maximumfun.org/donate.

You can meet up with other fans on MaxFun Meetup Day, March 22nd! Find one in your area here, or email us if you want to set one up in your city.

Plus Judge Hodgman is still doing his Instagram shoutouts to donors at the leadership level - hear more about it on this episode.

We premiere a new segment this week, Status Conference, plus a dad goes on trial. Marc brings the case against his wife Polly. They had a beloved dog who passed away several years ago. Marc would like to assemble and prepare a display of the skeleton in memory of their pet. Polly thinks this is weird and gross. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Korey Atterberry for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 252: The Cradle of Pizza Civilization

| 4 comments

Judge Hodgman fills us in on the birthplace of Italian-American pizza, garbage and breezeways, the adventures of Alex Vennenzula, and more.

MAXFUNDRIVE starts next week on Monday March 14th! Get ready and get excited!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 251: Wrecks Libris

| 9 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Jeanna files suit against her husband Craig. She insists that Craig mishandles books, by dogearing the pages and using them as doorstops around the house. Craig says he loves books and treats them appropriately. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Thanks to Alex Overall for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

VIEW THE EVIDENCE
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 250: Phone of Contention

| 6 comments

Allessandria brings the case against her husband Kevin. Kevin is a stay at home dad and has a cell phone, but is selective about when he chooses to use it. Al wants him to pick up when she rings. Kevin says he gets back to her in due time. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Craig Eliason for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Allessandria

Evidence Part 1

Evidence Part 2

Judge John Hodgman Episode 249: A Toast to Serra Angels

| 17 comments

Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse rule on toaster ovens, purchasing "singles" in card games and whether a couple should go for the animal trifecta - two puppies and a kitten.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 248: The Glass-Action Lawsuit

| 4 comments

Dan files suit against his girlfriend Jessica. Jessica has a pair of low-grade prescription glasses. She prefers not to wear them, claiming they are not attractive. Dan says she's missing out on life by refusing to wear the glasses. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Matt Gersting for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 247: Bros Before Globes

| 15 comments

Should a globe-trotting pal be forced to come home every once in a while?

Thanks to Andy Harris for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 246: Miami Memories

| 15 comments

Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse address airplane etiquette, the importance of Hamilton, swear words and more! There's no explicit content in this one, but you may not want kids listening to it all the same.

If you're looking for the hotel mentioned in this week's show, it is the Mayfair Hotel in Miami!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 245: Live at SF Sketchfest 2016

| 16 comments
Guests: 
Thao Nguyen

"Beyond a Reasonable Drought" and "A Portrait of the Artist as a Weird Dad", taped in front of a live audience at SF Sketchfest 2016! Plus, Swift Justice and songs from special guest Thao Nguyen of Thao and the Get Down Stay Down.

Look out for Thao's new record and tourdates at the band's site. A MAN ALIVE is out March 4th!

Please note that this week's episode includes bleeped swearing.

Thanks to Arlin Golden and Shaun Hickson for suggesting this week's titles! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 244: Commedia della Morte

| 8 comments

Jesse brings the case against his dad, Joseph. Joseph insists that his children hire a mime for his funeral (when the time comes). Jesse insists that a funeral is a time for grieving, not miming.

Thanks to Axel Kaegler for this week's case name!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 243: The Nog Tank

| 7 comments

Judge Hodgman and Jesse clear the docket on shouting at drive thrus, ski trips, subway turtles and more, and also set the record straight on Sha-Na-Na. Happy New Year!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 242: The Long-Sleeved Arm of the Law

| 19 comments

Blair brings the case against her husband Jon. In hot weather, Jon would like to wear one of his few treasured tank tops to cool off and feel the breeze. Blair thinks that tank tops on men look terrible and expose their sweaty arms to the masses. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Andrew McNair for this week's case name! If you want to name a future episode, like the Judge John Hodgman page on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

You can also follow Judge John Hodgman on Twitter @Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

WE NEED YOUR DISPUTES FOR SF SKETCHFEST! We'll be doling out justice in San Francisco on Friday, January 8th at Marines Memorial Theater! If you live in the SF Bay Area and have a beef with a friend, colleague or loved one, submit your case and you may be invited to present it live at our SF Sketchfest taping. More information here - tickets are sold out, but we're still looking for good disputes (you don't have to be a ticketholder, just someone who can get to the show!

VIEW THE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CASE
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 241: Guilty as Charred

| 6 comments

Simone brings the case against her husband, Julian. They're currently living abroad in Portugal, on the island of Madeira. They've enjoyed adapting to the customs of their new home, but Julian can't get used to their special built-in grill. Simone says they should do as the Portuguese do and figure out how to take advantage of this beautiful piece of equipment. Julian thinks they should just buy a hibachi. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Kristin Britanik for this week's case name! If you want to name a future episode, like the Judge John Hodgman page on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

You can also follow Judge John Hodgman on Twitter @Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

WE NEED YOUR DISPUTES FOR SF SKETCHFEST! We'll be doling out justice in San Francisco on Friday, January 8th at Marines Memorial Theater! If you live in the SF Bay Area and have a beef with a friend, colleague or loved one, submit your case and you may be invited to present it live at our SF Sketchfest taping. More information here - tickets are sold out, but we're still looking for good disputes (you don't have to be a ticketholder, just someone who can get to the show!

VIEW THE EVIDENCE FOR THIS CASE
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 240: Hockey Dockey Christmas

| 10 comments

Dramatic sneezing, toothpaste storage in the shower, ugly Christmas plates, and British vs. American PCs. Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse clear out the docket!

JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN IS AT SF SKETCHFEST next month! Get your tickets for our show in San Francisco on Friday January 8th. They're going fast! Plus, submit your Bay-Area based disputes to us at www.maximumfun.org/jjho. You NEED NOT have tickets to the show in order to submit a dispute, but you should be able to be present if selected.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 239: Textual Harassment

| 6 comments

Molly brings the case against her good friend Hector. Hector values her advice and often seeks her thoughts on matters professional or personal. Since they live far away from each other, he often texts or emails her to get in touch. Molly says his "digital poking" and consultation has gotten out of hand. Should Hector tone it down? Only one man can decide.

Thanks to Topher Lundell for this week's case name! If you want to name a future episode, like the Judge John Hodgman page on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

You can also follow Judge John Hodgman on Twitter @Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

WE NEED YOUR DISPUTES FOR SF SKETCHFEST! We'll be doling out justice in San Francisco on Friday, January 8th at Marines Memorial Theater! If you live in the SF Bay Area and have a beef with a friend, colleague or loved one, submit your case and you may be invited to present it live at our SF Sketchfest taping. You can also buy tickets to that show right here (but move quick, as they have sold out in previous years).

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 238: Pedantry of My Own

| 29 comments

Judge Hodgman's coda to the "A Hot Dog is Not a Sandwich" debate, plus rulings on wedding photography, urinating in public showers, pillow borrowing, and how to credit others' work on the internet.

JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN IS AT SF SKETCHFEST next month! Get your tickets for our show in San Francisco on Friday January 8th. They're going fast! Plus, submit your Bay-Area based disputes to us at www.maximumfun.org/jjho.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 237: Trial by Kombat

| 9 comments
Guests: 
David Rees

Laura has refused to play Mortal Kombat with her boyfriend Austin since he began doing extensive research and practice outside of their video game sessions. Should Austin come back down to her level so they can play a beloved game together? CAN he even do so?

We're joined us by Guest Bailiff David Rees of the TV show Going Deep, which returns THIS EVENING, Wednesday November 11th at 10/9c on the Esquire Channel!

Thanks to our own defendant, Laura, for this week's case name.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 236: A Little Dockey

| 8 comments

Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse clear out the docket, taking on the right way to share a suitcase, how to order at restaurants without infuriating your server, and "The Game".

If you hurry, you might still get tickets to Bailiff Jesse's World Tour of Several American Cities with Bullseye! Our Manhattan, Philly and DC shows are sold out but there are still a handful of tickets left (as of this writing) for:
Wednesday November 18 - Cambridge MA with Barney Frank, Mission of Burma and Lamont Price
Thursday November 19- Brooklyn NY with Tavi Gevinson, David Cross, Aparna Nancherla and Pharoahe Monch

See you there!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 235: Grime and Punishment

| 9 comments
Guests: 
David Rees

Fran brings the case against her husband Ben. Fran would like to hire a housecleaner to help them maintain their home and sanity with a five month old child. Ben refuses, insisting they can do it themselves. Who's right? Who's wrong?

We're joined us by Guest Bailiff David Rees of the TV show Going Deep, which returns THIS EVENING, Wednesday November 11th at 10/9c on the Esquire Channel!

Thanks to Alison McDonough for this week's case name.

Don't miss Bailiff Jesse's World Tour of Several American Cities with Bullseye! Stops in LA, Boston, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Philadelphia, DC await but tickets are going fast. Come see Jesse with William H. Macy, David Cross, Tavi Gevinson, Mission of Burma, Barney Frank, Hari Kondabolu, Chicano Batman, Ray Suarez, Dan Deacon and our own John Hodgman. Get your tickets now! Philly is sold out and the other cities are close on its heels. Visit BullseyeTour.com for more info.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 234: Shut Your Pious Hole

| 11 comments

Libby brings the case against her husband Aaron. Aaron is a minister by occupation, and thinks he should always be upfront about his job when meeting new people. Libby says he should play it cool till he gets to know them a bit better. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Peter Counter for this week's case name.

Don't miss Bailiff Jesse's World Tour of Several American Cities with Bullseye! Stops in LA, Boston, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Philadelphia, DC await but tickets are going fast. Come see Jesse with William H. Macy, David Cross, Tavi Gevinson, Mission of Burma, Barney Frank, Hari Kondabolu, Chicano Batman, Ray Suarez, Dan Deacon and our own John Hodgman. Get your tickets now! Philly is sold out and the other cities are close on its heels. Visit BullseyeTour.com for more info.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 233: The Slight Freaks

| 5 comments

Judge Hodgman and Guest Bailiff Elliott Kalan of the Flop House clear out the docket, ruling on how to talk to a robot, the rights and privileges of toys, the appropriate way to introduce your kids to team sports, and more.

Special thanks to Elliott for joining us this week! Be sure to check out his podcast, The Flop House

Don't miss Bailiff Jesse's World Tour of Several American Cities with Bullseye! Stops in LA, Boston, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Philadelphia, DC await but tickets are going fast. Come see Jesse with William H. Macy, Tavi Gevinson, Mission of Burma, Barney Frank, Hari Kondabolu, Chicano Batman, Ray Suarez, Dan Deacon and our own John Hodgman. Get your tickets now!!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 232: Oh, Goodie

| 8 comments

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear out the docket, addressing issues of late-night hot tubbing, cuddling in theaters, rug placement and taking photos with Wayne Gretzky.

OTHER ITEMS OF BUSINESS:
Only a handful of dates left for Judge Hodgman's ongoing Vacationland tour. Orlando, Durham, Ohio University, don't miss out!

And don't miss Bailiff Jesse's World Tour of Several American Cities with Bullseye! Stops in LA, Boston, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Philadelphia, DC await but tickets are going fast. Come see Jesse with William H. Macy, Tavi Gevinson, Mission of Burma, Barney Frank, Hari Kondabolu, Chicano Batman, Ray Suarez, Dan Deacon and our own John Hodgman. Get your tickets now!

Also, T-SHIRTS, DISH TOWELS AND POSTERS detailing Judge Hodgman's list of settled law await you in the MaxFunStore FOR A LIMITED TIME. Just take care of your holiday gifts now!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 231: The Hard of Hearing

| 8 comments

Reed's dad Bruce has suffered some hearing loss - must he try hearing aids? How about an ear trumpet? Find out when Judge John Hodgman rules!

Only a handful of dates left for Judge Hodgman's ongoing Vacationland tour. San Francisco, Orlando, Durham, Ohio University, don't miss out!

And don't miss Bailiff Jesse's World Tour of Several American Cities with Bullseye! Stops in LA, Boston, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Philadelphia, DC await but tickets are going fast. Get yours now!

Also, new items await you in the MaxFunStore. It's an issue of settled law!

Thanks to Jaron James for this week's case name!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 230: It May or May Not Take a Village

| 5 comments

As promised to donors during our annual pledge drive earlier this year, we present our "Switcheroo" week episode! Hosts Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of the One Bad Mother podcast jump in to adjudicate a parenting-related dispute this week. You'll find Judge Hodgman guest hosting this week's RISK! podcast.

All will return to normal next week but in the meantime, enjoy!

Judge Biz Ellis presides with Bailiff Theresa Thorn: should a couple with a baby seek out other young parents? Or are their old (non-parent) friends sufficient?

Michelle Hefflin named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Michelle!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

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You'll find One Bad Mother's new Kickstarter for parenting merit badges here!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 229: Rewind is a Sometimes Command

| 3 comments
Guests: 
Paul F. Tompkins

Featuring Guest Bailiff Paul F. Tompkins! JH and PFT clear out the docket!

Go see Paul F. Tompkins live in LA at his monthly SPONTANEANATION shows in LA, or subscribe to his podcast in iTunes or right here.

And be sure to get your tickets to Judge Hodgman's ongoing Vacationland tour.

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This week, the Judge will address this photo, sent in by Jake and Noelle W.:

"We found this in Siem Reap, Cambodia, at a hole in the wall restaurant of name unknown (or at least name unreadable to us as we don't read Cambodian). We did not order it."

Judge John Hodgman Episode 228: Feliz Gravitas

| 6 comments
Guests: 
Paul F. Tompkins

Featuring Guest Bailiff Paul F. Tompkins! Siblings Rolland and Nyssa want to reboot the family Christmas. How should they go about it?

Go see Paul F. Tompkins live in LA at his monthly SPONTANEANATION shows in LA, or subscribe to his podcast in iTunes or right here.

And be sure to get your tickets to Judge Hodgman's ongoing Vacationland tour. This very week, he's in Chicago, Iowa City, Madison, Minneapolis, Toronto!

Thanks to Adi Heller for this week's case name!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 227: No-show Contendere

| 3 comments
Guests: 
Jean Grae

Ted brings the case against his good friend Chris. They will make plans, but Chris will suddenly become unreachable when it comes time to meet up. Ted's calls and texts go unanswered. Ted says Chris needs to step up and let him know when his plans have changed. Chris says the plans weren't firm, so he's not entirely in the wrong. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Thanks to Luke Seemann for this week's case name!

Guest Bailiff Jean Grae returns this week! You can find Jean Grae online and in real life! Follow her @JeanGreasy on Twitter. Go see her perform live in NYC. Or check out her Bandcamp page.

And be sure to get your tickets to Judge Hodgman's ongoing Vacationland tour.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 226: A Nothingburger Sort of Thing To Do

| 15 comments
Guests: 
Jean Grae

Judge Hodgman and Guest Bailiff Jean Grae take on the proper way to do the YMCA dance, marriage proposals, and more.

You can find Jean Grae online and in real life! Follow her @JeanGreasy on Twitter. Go see her perform live in NYC. Or check out her Bandcamp page.

And be sure to get your tickets to Judge Hodgman's upcoming Vacationland tour, launching this weekend!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 225: Go Set a Tip Jar

| 4 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Two friends co-host a literary reading series as a labor of love. Should they begin to seek donations?

This week we say au revoir, till next time to our wonderful Summer Bailiff Monte Belmonte! Thank you for everything, Monte!

Charles Louis Richter named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Charles!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 224: Justice De-furred

| 13 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Is fresh best? How often should pet-soiled sheets be washed?

Rich Davis named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Rich!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 223: Waiting For the Drop

| 17 comments

Listen in as Judge John rules on metal meat utensils, the right way to put toilet paper on the roll, how to confront a 40 year old listening to EDM, Vlad the Impaler-based religions, and the proper order to listen to podcast episodes. This week with Bailiff Jesse Thorn! If you've ever wanted to know WWVD, this is the episode for you.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 222: Eminent Toe-main

| 8 comments

Amy brings the case against her girlfriend Alexa. They made a bet. If Amy won, Alexa had to refrain from wearing a certain pair of shoes in public for three days. Amy believes that Alexa broke the terms of their agreement by wearing the shoes in their yard. Alexa says she stuck to the rules. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Addison Fox named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Addison!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Amy

Exhibit A: "The Offending Footwear"

Exhibit B: "View of the Street From the Picnic Table"

Exhibit C: "View of the Yard From the Sidewalk"

Exhibit D: "View of the Yard From the Street"

Judge John Hodgman Episode 221: I Want My nth TV

| 1 comment
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Caroline brings the case against her husband Steve. They cannot agree -- how many TVs is TOO many? Caroline thinks it's best to minimize TV watching, and that a single TV is most appropriate. Steve says it can't hurt to have a few extra screens as long as you don't go overboard. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Nick Warren named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Nick!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

You can follow our fantastic Summer Bailiff Monte Belmonte and listen to him on WRSI 93.9 The River!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 220: Good Time Summertime Docket Clearin'

| 11 comments

Judge Hodgman is assisted by Summertime Bailiff Monte Belmonte, taking on questions of broccoli-chomping, accidental raccoonslaughter, game night disputes, and the best construction of jokes.

You can find some of the suggestions mentioned for Great Balls of Ire here.

You can follow our fantastic Summer Bailiff Monte Belmonte and listen to him on WRSI 93.9 The River!

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Text of Lisa's email and response from Hasbro is below.

Subject: Determination needed on Taboo rule re: 'form or part of a word'

Hi Customer Service Team!

During a recent game of Taboo, the game dissolved into chaos due to different interpretations of this rule:

"No form or part of ANY word printed on the card may be given as a clue. Examples: If the Guess Word is PAYMENT, "pay" cannot be given as a clue. If DRINK is a TABOO word, "drunk" cannot be give as a clue. If SPACESHIP is the Guess Word, you can't use "space" or "ship" as a clue."

The quarrel is over what counts as a 'form' or 'part' of a word. In this specific instance, the Guess Word on the card drawn was PEN. The Clue-giver used the word PENCIL, which was not one of the TABOO words on the card.

The opposing team immediately declared it a taboo, arguing that the word 'PEN' is part of the word 'PENCIL'.

The other team argued that the word PEN does not appear in PENCIL, but that the letter sequence P-E-N happens to repeat. The words 'pen' and 'pencil' are not etymologically related, since they derive from two different Latin root words. The opposing team was asked if they would have called taboo if the word OPEN was used by the clue giver, which also contains the letter sequence P-E-N. This team argued that it would not be a taboo if the Clue-Giver said the word AND in a case where the Guess Word was CANDLE or ANDROID.

The opposing team came back and said that PEN and PENCIL are associationally related, so the examples given above don't count.

Who is correct?

I look forward to your response.

Response By Email (Mike) (05/18/2015 02:42 PM)

Hi Lisa,

Thank you for contacting Hasbro regarding Taboo.

I'm pleased to reply. The second team, who were relying on the etymological reasoning, is correct.

Again, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to reach out to us.

I hope you have a fun day!

Kind regards,
Mike

Judge John Hodgman Episode 219: Axed and Answered

| 13 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Jen brings the case against her boyfriend Adrian. Adrian has his heart set on buying and displaying an "artisanal axe" in their home. He says it would be a beautiful and practical item to own. Jen says it breaks her rule against having weapons in the home, and opens them up to other beautiful but dangerous items -- what's next, decorative swords??

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Danny Lewin named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Danny!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

You can also follow our fantastic Summer Bailiff Monte Belmonte and listen to him on WRSI 93.9 The River!

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Adrian

Exhibit A: "This is my dream axe."

Exhibit B: A photo of their living space, including the mantel where the axe would likely be placed.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 218: Troll-o Contendere

| 1 comment

Charlie brings the case against her boyfriend Brandon. Brandon says that if a friend posts an opinion or thought on social media, he's entitled to respond with his own thoughts. Charlie says this "calling out" has gone too far.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Charles Pierson named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Charles!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

You can also follow our fantastic Summer Bailiff Monte Belmonte and listen to him on WRSI 93.9 The River!

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Charlie

Facebook exchange #1

Facebook exchange #2

Judge John Hodgman Episode 217: Battle of the Podcast Stars

| 13 comments

That's my verdict, that's my ruling! Judge John Hodgman rules on dressing cats in shirts, obnoxious behavior at Mexican restaurants, and more.

Judge Hodgman is setting up camp in the internetless hills for the summer, so we won't be releasing a new episode next week. But we'll return on Wednesday the 17th with all new episodes featuring Bailiff Jesse and Summer Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 216: An Alchemic Clark Bar of Delight

| 10 comments

Judge Hodgman tells us what's wrong and what's right! Is ice cream actually "candy"? Should you go to your mom's 60th birthday party? Is it ok to leave used snot rags lying around?

And an update about the Brocavore Brothers! You can read about them eating Duck Dynasty brand beef jerky here, sent to them by one of our listeners.

If you missed this whole thing and don't understand who the Brocavore brothers are, click here for the episode or here for our last update.

You can help them complete Judge John Hodgman's court-mandated dalliances.
If you wish to send Moxie or Cheez Waffies to brothers Edmund and Garth, please ship to:

Cairncrest Farm
156 Talbot Rd
West Winfield, NY 13491

Judge John Hodgman Episode 215: Great Balls of Ire

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Aron brings the case against his wife Molly. They recently moved into a new home, located next door to a public park. The kids playing in the park continually kick or throw balls over the fence, and the couple's yard is strewn with the balls. Aron and Molly can't agree on how best to return the balls and appease the kids. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Harish Krishnamoorthi named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Harish!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 214: The Santa Suit

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Andy brings the case against his wife Virginia. Andy wants to share the spirit of Christmas and Santa all year long. Virginia wants to restrict it to the holiday season. Who's right? Who's wrong? (P.S. Parents who may be listening with children, this case deals with Santa! You catch our drift?)

Jeff Herbert named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Jeff!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 213: Just the Two of Us

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Judge Hodgman rules on indiscriminate hot-saucing, Vegas buffet etiquette, civic responsibility and more. Plus, an update on episode 167, Brocavore!

Edmund and Garth are blogging about their experiences as they raise/grow/forage/hunt for their own food for an entire year. You can find their entries about consuming Judge Hodgman's court-ordered exceptions here: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

If you wish to send Moxie, Cheez Waffies, Duck Dynasty brand beef jerky to brothers Edmund and Garth, please ship to:

Cairncrest Farm
156 Talbot Rd
West Winfield, NY 13491

If you're interested in applying for our very first Production Fellowship, click here!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 212: Reduce, Reuse, Accuse

| 20 comments

Elliot brings the case against his girlfriend, Rachel. Their recycling bin has been stolen from the curb repeatedly, and they want to figure out who's responsible. Elliot thinks they should try to catch the thief while it's happening, Rachel thinks they should sit back and wait for the perp to present him or herself. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Sandra Macke named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Sandra!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 211: The Downer Party

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Saad brings the case against his wife Zeba. Saad prefers not to celebrate birthdays and would like to keep the hoopla surrounding them to a minimum. Zeba, on the other hand, enjoys the more traditional birthday trappings. They can't agree on the best way to acknowledge their children's birthdays in future.

Evan Cooper named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Evan!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 210: Judgin' Like It's 1992

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Bailiff Jesse returns to the courtroom! Judge Hodgman rules on the Oxford comma, Hawaiian short pants, and tries not to hurt anyone's "Disney feelings".

We'll be back with more trials next week. Check out evidence from this week's episode below.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 209: Kung Fu Fighting with Jean Grae

| 9 comments
Guests: 
Jean Grae

Judge Hodgman clears out the docket, ruling on teenage liars, snuggling with teddy bears, sopping up messes with toilet paper, and more.

This week Bailiff Jean Grae returns to assist with the proceedings! For more Jean, check out her Bandcamp!

Bailiff Jesse returns to the courtroom next week.

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RELATED EVIDENCE

Photo of Ted Rico

Judge John Hodgman Episode 208: Sunrise Upset

| 13 comments
Guests: 
Jean Grae

This week, Cara brings the case against her husband, Colin. Colin began setting an alarm to rise with the sun each day. He says it's not only useful, but that he enjoys feeling synced with the natural world.

Cara says the sunrise alarm is impractical and is just Colin's latest "New Thing".

Should Colin continue rising with the sun? Only one man can decide.

This week, guest starring Bailiff Jean Grae! For more Jean, check out her Bandcamp OR if you're in NYC, go see her this Friday, May 1st at Jean Grae's Mayday Melee at The Bell House in Brooklyn!

Lisa Harris named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Lisa!

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EVIDENCE

FROM CARA

Exhibit A:
A chart showing the variances in sunrise between Taipei (where they currently live) and Boston (where the couple will move in the near future).

Judge John Hodgman Episode 207: The Defense Rests

| 8 comments

Jon and Anna are roommates and enjoy hosting parties at their home. Anna often heads to bed early, leaving Jon to host the guests and then shoo them out. Is it OK to duck out of your own party early?

Only one man can decide.

This week's episode title suggested by David Rosenthal! Thank you, David!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 206: Moon and Stars

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Judge Hodgman rules on busted doors, schoolbus naming, and whether or not cereal is a soup. Plus a Hodgman Dubbel update!

Check out the prototype made real by Paul Bruneau here!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 205: Schnapp Judgment

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Eric brings the case against his friend, brother-in-law, and drinking buddy Jonas. Jonas prefers the finer things, and drinks more expensive liquor. Eric drinks the cheaper stuff, and says he suffers snotty comments from Jonas as a result.

Should Jonas cut the snobbery, or is Eric being oversensitive? Only one man can decide.

This week's episode title suggested by Craig Eliason! Thank you!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 204: The Puck Stops Here

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Steve brings the case against his best friend Scott. Years ago, Scott introduced Steve to a love of hockey, by inviting him to professional games and teaching him how to play. Steve went on to play in a local rec league, but Scott quit playing entirely. Now Steve wants his friend to get back into the sport and play one last season with him.

Should Scott get back out on the ice, or continue to watch from the stands? Only one man can decide.

This week's episode title suggested by Nick Marritz! Thank you!

And a big thank you to everyone who became members during this year's MaxFunDrive. Your support means so much to us, and will enable us to keep making JJHo for you.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 203: Habeas Spiritus

| 4 comments
Guests: 
Carrie Poppy

Rachael brings the case against her boyfriend Anton. Rachael believes that psychics with real spiritual gifts do exist, and wants Anton to visit one with her. Anton is "an unshakeable realist" and says all psychics are faking it, and are just in it for the cash.

Should Anton give psychics a chance? Only one man can decide (with the assistance of expert witness Carrie PoppyTfor!)

This week's episode title suggested by Aurora Hannigan! Thank you!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 202: Impersona Non Grata

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Guests: 
Jon Ronson

KLAXON! KLAXON! It's MaxFunDrive time! Rep your Judge John Hodgman pride by becoming a monthly sustaining member of Maximum Fun and selecting JJH as one of your favorite shows. Help us meet our goal of 2000 new and upgrading members by March 27th! There's a level for everyone -- check 'em out at www.maximumfun.org/donate. Your ongoing support makes this show possible. Thank you.

Dana brings the case against his friend Brendan. Several years ago, Brendan started a Hulk parody twitter account, and he used Dana's real name in the Twitter handle. Brendan says the account is funny; Dana says it's bordering on impersonation. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to Vernon Maher, who named this week's episode! And thanks to our expert witness Jon Ronson, author of the upcoming book So You've Been Publicly Shamed!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 201: Sweet Relish

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Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse clear out the docket with gusto, answering questions about pickle relish, Pee-wee, apartment tours, and the difference between Jim Varney and Verne Troyer.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 200: Bigfoot II

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Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse tackle the reuse of ziptop bags, sleeping in jeans, Luddites, and creative work in today's docket clearing. Plus, Judge Hodgman admits to some monstrous behavior.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 199: Legalhosen

| 21 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Leesa brings the case against her husband Matt. Matt has accumulated a large collection of socks. He began with solid colors, and has now expanded to fancier patterned socks. Leesa says the collection has gotten out of hand, and wants Matt to cull the herd. Matt says the socks are useful and aesthetically pleasing, and wants to continue to acquire socks at his present rate.Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Thanks to Monte Belmonte for returning as guest bailiff this week, and to WRSI 93.9 The River for hosting this week's Western Mass-based JJHO.

Monte will be camping out on the Old Courthouse Lawn in Northampton, MA next week, March 4th and 5th, to raise $50,000 for The Cancer Connection. Pitch in starting March 4th and help him meet that goal before he freezes while camping out in his tent! Find a link to donate here.

And thanks to Alberto Zuniga for this week's case name!

The double-ended unicycle shirt is available for only one more day! Get yours now!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 198: Spit Decision, Live from SF Sketchfest

| 5 comments
Guests: 
John Vanderslice
Guests: 
A-1
Guests: 
Mary Roach

This week, our live show from SF Sketchfest, including "Justice in Thirty Minutes or Less", "Spit Decision" and music from John Vanderslice and A-1.

Many thanks to:
John Vanderslice, with Jason Slota and Jacob Winik!
A-1!
Mary Roach!

And thanks to The Handsome Family for allowing us to release this special cover of their song "So Much Wine". You can find them online at The Handsome Family, and buy the original song here.

Thank you to Mike Newman for this week's case name!

And be sure to get your Hodgman Dubbel unicycle t-shirt here. Available only until 2/26/15.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 197: The Hodgman Dubbel

| 12 comments

Judge Hodgman weighs in on loud popcorn eating, anniversaries, fedoras, and selects the best drawings of his proposed Double-Ended Unicycle.

Get a limited-edition double-ended unicycle t-shirt in the MaxFunStore, as illustrated by artist Gregory Mackay! Sales end Thursday, February 26th!

Thanks to Josh Beck for this week's episode title (and his amazing unicycle design).

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 196: Mi Casa Es Shoeless Casa

| 17 comments