Roze Buddiez: International Date Line

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Rose Buddies

Oh, you haven't heard of International Date Line? It's only the hot new romantic television property created by Rachel and Griffin, two of Hollywood's most in-demand pitchmasters. Join them as they develop this show in this special episode of Rose Buddies!

Roze Buddiez: Married at First Sight

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Rose Buddies

For today's Roze Buddiez, we watched a couple episodes of Married at First Sight, and learned all about science, and data, and love, and responsibility. Everything in this show is so scientific, and so very, deeply responsible.

Roze Buddiez: Love Connection

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Rose Buddies

As we begin our journey away from the Bachelor franchise, we make a quick pit stop at Love Connection, which is a pretty inaccurate name for a show in which strangers take turns hating each other as hard as they possibly can.

Ep. 82: The Final Rose

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Rose Buddies

Rachel's season of The Bachelorette came to a close earlier this week in an infuriating three-hour finale. Join us as we discuss the heartbreak and frustration of that conclusion, and hear ALL ABOUT the exciting new programs debuting THIS FALL on ABC!!!!!!!!!

Roze Buddiez: Baby TV

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Rose Buddies

We super didn't want to recap The Men Tell All, so instead, we are subjecting you to this: An hour-long discussion about all the mostly awful baby television we've watched this year. Enjoy?

Rose Buddies Ep. 80: Will Peter or Won't Peter

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Rose Buddies

We decided to go with this episode title because it's the literal only premise of the two-hour-long episode of primetime television we watched earlier this week. Also: The remaining suitors meet the family, and begin their journey to the Fantasy Suite.

Ep. 79: Hometowns, Again

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Rose Buddies

Join us for a whistle-stop tour of America as we follow Rachel's journey to meet her four suitors' families! They went ... mostly ... okay, with one pretty exploitative exception.

Recommended reading:

http://jezebel.com/this-promo-is-all-you-need-to-know-about-how-bachelor...
https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/7/18/15990408/bachelor-in-paradise-seas...

Ep. 78: Champagne!

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Rose Buddies

We're getting down to the end of Rachel's tenure as Bachelorette, and -- you guessed it -- we're right back in that pre-hometowns slump. Join us as we dive into all the hot dates from this week, and as we discuss the SHOCKING eliminations as we get down to the final four.

Roze Buddiez: Good Things That We Like

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Rose Buddies

There was no new episode of The Bachelorette this week, but we wanted to record SOMETHING, and this is the result of that desire. We're basically just talking about our favorite stuff in the least Goopy way we can muster.

Rose Buddies Ep. 76: Onion Time

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Rose Buddies

In this feature-length Rose Buddies, we break down the two episodes of Bachelorette that aired this week. I don't know if the Congressional Medal of Honor has ever been awarded for recapping four hours of garbage-time television, but hey, there's a first time for everything.

Additional reading:

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-vexing-racial-politics...
https://theringer.com/the-bachelorette-episode-6-recap-rachel-lindsay-17...
http://www.thedailybeast.com/the-bachelor-franchise-is-exploiting-race-f...
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/28/arts/television/bachelorette-rachel-l...
https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2017/06/the-bacheloret...

Ep. 75: A Very, Very Bad Week

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Rose Buddies

Fair warning: This is a pretty tough episode to listen to, and it was a pretty tough episode to record. We're covering everything that went down during the suspension of Bachelor in Paradise, and also recapping a super problematic episode of The Bachelorette. There's a lot of rotten stuff happening right now that we're trying to sort out; we ask for some patience as we figure out what comes next.

CW: Racism, Sexual Assault

Additional Reading:

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/06/160041/bachelorette-lee-garrett-provok...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/abc-racism-on-the-bachelorette-is-no...

https://theringer.com/bachelorette-week-4-recap-a7bd701d239

Ep. 74: Horse Poop Censorship

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Rose Buddies

This week's episode of The Bachelorette featured a lot of fun dates and a lot of super-not-fun horseshit back at the mansion. Not literal horse shit, mind you -- we all know this franchise is too afraid to actually deliver on THOSE goods.

Ep. 73: Juicy Delandal

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Rose Buddies

This week's episode had it all: The blossoming of new love, an adorable dog attending a dog party, a marriage-themed obstacle course, and, of course, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It just methodically checks off all the elements required for a good episode of television.

Additional Reading:

https://www.bustle.com/p/peter-rachel-praised-therapy-on-the-bachelorett...

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-my-journey-bac...

Rose Buddies Ep. 72: Rachel and the Real Boy

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Rose Buddies

The new season of Bachelorette has begun! In today's episode, we discuss Rachel's fateful meeting with 31 eligible bachelors, a few of whom are just absolute bridge trolls. The same cannot be said for A.J., who is the light of our lives, the sun in our sky and the light unto our path. Let's go!

Additional Reading:

http://www.marieclaire.com/culture/news/a27304/the-bachelorette-2017-pre...

http://www.npr.org/2017/05/23/529705257/the-bachelorette-may-have-a-blac...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-it-matters-that-white-people-are...

Roze Buddiez: Bachelor Pad Part Three

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Rose Buddies

We did it. We beat it. We finished watching the final four episodes of Bachelor Pad Season Two in a single week, a feat that we wouldn't recommend trying to recreate at home. See you next week for the Bachelorette premiere!

Roze Buddiez: Bachelor Pad Part Two

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Rose Buddies

We're halfway through watching this season of Bachelor Pad, and boy howdy, do we feel guilty about watching any of it. It was like we were really thirsty, dying in a desert of bad television, and now we're quenching ourselves on straight-up toilet water.

Roze Buddiez: Bachelor Pad Part One

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Rose Buddies

After talking about it constantly during the span of this podcast, we're FINALLY discussing Bachelor Pad, the short-lived offshoot of the franchise we know and ... tolerate. Specifically, the second season of Bachelor Pad, which pops off very hard in the premiere and never really stops.

Roze Buddiez: Dating in the Dark

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Rose Buddies

The mid-2000s were a challenging time for all of us, particularly those who were enrolled in reality television programs like Dating in the Dark. This is a show in which strangers are trapped together in a cave, and then tasked with smooching their way out. Join us for another week of erudite discussion on this next-level skeleton-evacuating experience.

Roze Buddiez: The Dating Game

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Rose Buddies

Holy shit, what a trash fire. We're sorry we made anyone watch this. Because, like, DAMN. Every minute of this thing was worst than the previous minute, and this bad boy started out with a pretty rough first minute, so. WOOF.

Roze Buddiez: First Dates

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Rose Buddies

This week, we're hungrily tearing into the new Ellen DeGeneres/Drew Barrymore collabo First Dates, in which a bunch of folks go on First Dates with varying degrees of success. It's a breath of fresh air, y'all.

Roze Buddiez: The Bachelorette Season One - Part Two

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Rose Buddies

We're fresh off the MaxFunDrive, and ... well, okay, "fresh" maybe isn't the right word. We are shambling husks of our former selves, full stop. But that's not going to stop us from finishing up our recap of the very first season of The Bachelorette!

Rose Buddies: The Bachelorette Season One - Part One

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Rose Buddies

Happy week two of the MaxFunDrive! We hope you'll think about supporting our show if you've got the means! Either way, we're gonna recap the first season of The Bachelorette for you so, so right.

Roze Buddiez: Terrace House: Aloha State

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Rose Buddies

Happy MaxFunDrive, everybody! It's our first year on the network, and we're so excited to take part in this two-week celebration of ... well, us, I guess? And you! It's a love story, in a manner of speaking. Also, we're recapping the first eight episodes of Terrace House: Aloha State!

Rose Buddies Ep. 62: After the Final Thigh Rub

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Rose Buddies

It's finale time! Well, yesterday was finale time, technically speaking. Right now it's recap time! Who did Nick choose to propose to in his season's final hours? I mean, you know, of course, but let's all pretend like it's a big surprise, okay?

Ep. 61: The Yurt Locker

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Rose Buddies

Boy howdy, our bodies are simply no longer capable of consuming three hours of this television show in one sitting. Like, our nervous system violently rejects exposure to that much unfiltered Bachelor. Still, we weathered the storm to bring you this sleepy, penultimate episode of Nick's season!

Ep. 60: The Sex Turtleneck

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Rose Buddies

Somehow, SOMEHOW, we created a podcast episode that is just as long as the hour-long episode of television that we're recapping. Which like, at this point, I don't even know if you can call that a recap, really. I think this might actually be a remake.

Ep. 59: The Best Hometowns Ever

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Rose Buddies

WHAT A GOOD EPISODE OF THE BACHELOR!!! We were very excited to talk about the good, good families that these women have, and how Nick is going to systematically disappoint them as we reach this season's final stretch. Join us, won't you?

Ep. 58: Thirty-Eight Quarter-Jobs

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Rose Buddies

It's Go-Homes week on the Bachelor as Nick narrows down the roster to this season's Final Four. Which, of course, means this episode was kind of lame -- BUT -- we got a big surprise announcement in the form of confirmation of the next Bachelorette! Join us as we just freak the hell out about it.

Rose Buddies Ep. 57: The Volleyball Uprising

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Rose Buddies

We don't know where to even begin talking about this episode. It was seriously the most bizarre two hours of programming this franchise has ever put together, complete with inscrutable plot twists and 180-degree tonal shifts that changed the course of the season with virtually no explanation. It's a wild, wild ride, and we're gonna guide you through it.

Rose Buddies Ep. 56: Crystal Billy

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Rose Buddies

There's dark clouds on the horizon, but we're not focused on those -- instead, we're keeping our eyes on the delightful moments of yesterday's episode of The Bachelor. Namely, when a bunch of women were INSPIRITED BY A SPECTRAL CHILD.

Rose Buddies Ep. 55: 'Motional 'Telligence

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Rose Buddies

HEEEEYYYYYYYYY DO YOU ALL LIKE CORRRRRRRRNNNNN?!?!?! This is a Corn-heavy episode, because the Bachelor has become a television show that's exclusively about Corn, and her wayward journey to find love.

Rose Buddies Ep. 54: Zero G Barfdate

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Rose Buddies

Did we all communally experience last night's episode of The Bachelor in a group fever dream? Did we really witness a Backstreet Boys dance-off, a floating post-yartz smooch and a bouncy castle hook-up? IS THIS THE MATRIX? ARE WE IN THE MATRIX?

Rose Buddies Ep. 53: Janet Jacksoned

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Rose Buddies

Where to begin? This episode of The Bachelor was an absolute barn burner -- we had competition, heartbreak, and more cringeworthy interactions than we ever dreamed one two-hour television episode could contain. Hold onto your butts, and also someone else's butt, because that's the order of the day, folks.

Rose Buddies Ep. 52: Periodic Table of Genital Possibilities

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Rose Buddies

AW HELL YEAH. It's a new season of The Bachelor, and to celebrate, we've joined forces with the Maximum Fun network. Welcome to our new listeners! Just a heads up: We don't usually talk about the elemental composition of vaginas as much as we do in this one. It's a very special occasion.

Rose Buddies Ep. 51: Girl Fieri

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Rose Buddies

PREPARE FOR BLASTOFF. We're diving into the details and stats of ALL 30 of the contestants for the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. Will Nick Viall, that milk-fed beauty, find love this time around? Like they always say, the third time's the charm! And if it isn't, then fuck it, give 'em a fourth time. Let's keep throwing this dude-spaghetti at the wall until he sticks.