The Flop House: Episode #234 - The Accountant

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The Flop House

It’s the movie that thinks autism is the secret to becoming a John Wick-style super-killer, The Accountant. Meanwhile Elliott details Randy Newman’s difficulty with dirty rhymes, Dan exhausts his knowledge of Zurich, Stuart hates Cheerios, and we all make some probably ill-advised jokes about the murder of Jean Smart.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
The Blackcoat’s Daughter
The Sympathizer

The Flop House: Episode #232 - A Dog's Purpose

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The Flop House

We watch the dog grief porn A Dog’s Purpose. Meanwhile Dan gets to the bottom of a Lassie mystery, Stuart gives us a hall pass, and Elliott masturbates to rhymes. Apologies for the audio that makes it sound like Stuart is in the other room. We have no idea how that happened.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Hounds of Love
20th Century Women

The Flop House: Episode #231 - Mother's Day

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Show: 
The Flop House
Guests: 
Paul Sabourin

Just in time for Mother’s Day we discuss Mother’s Day. Let it never to be said that we don’t have our finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. Meanwhile master of impressions Dan returns, Elliott sells branded Timothy Olyphant pants, Stu explains tattoo reveals, and Paul Sabourin from Paul and Storm guests.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Resolution
Colossal
Topsy-Turvy
Train to Busan
Bad Moms

The Flop House: Episode #230 - Monster Trucks

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The Flop House

We discuss the movie based on a not-really pun, Monster Trucks. Meanwhile Elliott talks about Love in an Elevator for waaay too long, Stu asks some Saved by the Bell questions, Dan’s penis habits are described at length, and we’re all sorry about the technical problems in this episode.

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Void
The Purge: Election Year
Creed

The Flop House: Episode #229 - Assassin's Creed

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The Flop House

We discuss the movie made up entirely of video game cutscenes, Assassin’s Creed. Meanwhile Elliott does the classic “apple bit,” we hear another one of Stu’s goofs and bloops, and Dan’s sick voice is all gravely and such.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Suddenly!
The Music Room
Critters 2

The Flop House: Episode #228 - Collateral Beauty

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The Flop House

We discuss Will Smith’s spiritual sequel to Seven Pounds, Collateral Beauty. Meanwhile, Stu unveils his hot new nickname, Elliott tries to get Keira Knightly’s attention, and the less said about Dan in this episode, the better.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Wonder Boys
Get Out
Promise

The Flop House: Episode #227 - 1941

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The Flop House
Guests: 
John Hodgman

An extra-special bonus episode for the MaxFun Drive, where we’re joined by Mr. John Hodgman to talk about Steven Spielberg’s legendary flop 1941.

Movies recommended in this episode:

I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Manborg
The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek

The Flop House: Episode #226 - Max Steel

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The Flop House

We discuss a movie from last year that flopped so badly that Elliott refuses to believe it exists: Max Steel. Meanwhile Dan sings a Carmen Sandiego duet, Stuart gives his fish-based SNL audition, and Elliott texts a lot.

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Neon Demon
The Devils
The Lobster

The Flop House: Episode #225 - Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings

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The Flop House

Why is this movie not in Smalltember? Well, Stu said he wanted to watch Max Magician for his birthday, and we all said “fuck it.” Meanwhile Dan doesn’t know which corpse to punch, Elliott suggests an alternate course for Teen Wolf, and Stu has no pants.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Moonlight
The Edge of Seventeen
Lost Soul
My Night at Maud’s

The Flop House: Episode #223 - The Last Witch Hunter

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The Flop House

We discuss The Last Witch Hunter. All other witch hunters presumably having been herded into the sea by the Red Bull. Meanwhile Meanwhile Elliott explains man-witches, Dan looks to an extreme James Bond to save a wounded nation, and Stuart is obsessed with billiards.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Help
Session 9
I Married a Witch

The Flop House: Episode #218 - Nine Lives

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The Flop House

Kevin Spacey as a cat sounds just purrrrfect (TM) for the Flop House, so we watched Nine Lives. Meanwhile, Stuart tells of his adventures with Kirsten Dunst, Dan suggests a terrible new method of shooting porn, and Elliott tells an offensive phone book joke.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Waxwork II: Lost in Time
Losing Ground
Encounters at the End of the World

The Flop House: Episode #216 - The Gallows

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The Flop House

On this final SHOCKTOBER episode we discuss the noose-is-loose would-be chiller The Gallows. Meanwhile, Elliott somehow weasels his way out of doing a Muppet voice, Stuart reveals Dick Tracy’s bias against the disabled, and Dan somehow doesn’t let the movie’s plotting make his head explode.

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Handmaiden
Hunt for the Wilderpeople
Lemora: A Child’s Tale of the Supernatural

The Flop House: Episode #213 - Christian Mingle

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The Flop House

Smalltember/vember continues! On this episode we discuss the feature length ad for a dating website and for God, Christian Mingle. and Stuart explains how to find cartoon porn, Dan checks his website privilege, and Elliott "Weekend at Bernies"es someone very close to him.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Mustang
The Duke of Burgundy
Hard Target 2

The Flop House: Episode #211 - Godzilla (1998)

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The Flop House

At the request of charity contest winner Erik North, we discuss the classic (?) 1998 version of Godzilla. Meanwhile Dan tries to explain Dangerous Liaisons, Elliott surprises no one by reading a Godzilla-centered magazine, and Stuart gives you some advice about how to get milk.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Tickled
Hitchcock/Truffaut
Everybody Wants Some!
Harlan County U.S.A.

The Flop House: Episode #208 - Norm of the North

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The Flop House

We just can’t stop punishing ourselves with bizarre kids’ computer animated films. Will Norm of the North be another Guardian of the Highlands or Foodfight!? Meanwhile Stuart has strong feelings on Tyrion Lannister’s political positions, Elliott mangles Sinatra, and Dan is far too distracted by his loud cat.

Movies recommended in this episode

Shallow Grave
Lifeboat
Sleeping with Other People

The Flop House: Episode #207 - The Boy

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The Flop House

Elliott is back from his brief sabbatical. Will the possible evil-doll-antics of The Boy make him regret it? Meanwhile Stuart makes people’s days better with a choking hazard, Dan’s bachelor lifestyle is depressing, and Elliott shares why he has the cleanest poop in town.

Movies recommended in this episode

Mistress America
De Palma
The Face of Another
Fright Night

The Flop House: Episode #205 - Gods of Egypt LIVE

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The Flop House

Live from Cake Shop as part of NYC Podfest. It's Gods of Egypt.

The Flop House: Episode #204 - We Are Your Friends

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The Flop House

On this episode we discuss the should-be-more-hateable tale of young aspiring DJ douches We Are Your Friends. Meanwhile, Elliott describes a Golden Girls party at length, Stuart burns Broadway, and Dan slowly dies.

Apologies for the wonky audio. Due to his cold, Dan may have made a recording mistake with the microphones.

Movies recommended in this episode:

In the Blood
Krampus
Captain America: Civil War
The 13th Warrior
Portrait of Jason

The Flop House: Episode #201 - Vice

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The Flop House

With the glamour and horror of our 200th/MaxFun Drive episode behind us, we return to meat-and-potatoes flophousery with the little seen sci-fi actioner Vice, starring Flop House repeat offenders Thomas Jane and Bruce Willis. Meanwhile, Elliott explains the risks of marrying Shannon Tweed, Dan takes a fantasy trip to the set of the sitcom Wings, and Stuart makes a shocking leap ahead in Radio Zork

Movies recommended in this episode:

Green Room
10 Cloverfield Lane
The Forbidden Room

The Flop House: Episode #200 - Nothing but Trouble

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Show: 
The Flop House
Guests: 
John Hodgman

It’s the moment we promised would never happen: we watched Elliott and Dan’s stated least-favorite movie of all time, Nothing but Trouble. (Don’t worry – despite Elliott’s joking claim that if we ever did this film it would be our last, this is NOT our final episode). And to help us out with this special MAX FUN DRIVE episode (donate!), we welcome self-proclaimed minor television celebrity, Mr. John Hodgman. Meanwhile, Elliott breaks out his “Jane Campion accent, Stuart reveals his popcorn secrets, And Hodgman joins in at making fun of Dan’s pronunciation.

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Sting
Witchtrap
Broadcast News
The Housemaid

The Flop House: Episode #199 - Jem and the Holograms

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The Flop House

Don’t worry — we took your boring story about a magical rock-star-making computer and turned it into a thrilling story about YouTube. We talk Jem and the Holograms. Meanwhile, Elliott has a surprisingly deep knowledge of failed Internet concerns, Stuart reveals the hidden bonds between Seal and Salman Rushdie, and Dan is totally blazed.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Slow West
Miller’s Crossing
Cria Cuervos

The Flop House: Episode #198 - The Cobbler

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The Flop House

It’s the Jewish magical realism tale that almost made Elliott hate his own Judaism: The Cobbler. Meanwhile, Stuart suffers from cartoon eye degeneration, Dan would like you to know very much that he’s a wealthy murderer, and Elliott’s singing has started to bleed dangerously outside the letters section.

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Deer Hunter
The Witch
Chi-Raq

The Flop House: Episode #197 - Seventh Son

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The Flop House

Is Seventh Son seventh fun? Perhaps, though we’re not sure what “seventh fun” means. Meanwhile, Elliott pitches us on FXXX, Stuart expresses his love for fantasy bullshit maps, and Dan feels terrible about mixing up En Vogue and TLC.

We also debut Jonathan Biegen’s “That’s How it Works (feat. The Flop House).” And a warning for sensitive listeners — we briefly get serious during the letters section with some talk about suicide.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Close Range
Diary of a Teenage Girl
Middle of Nowhere

The Flop House: Episode #196 - Aloha

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The Flop House

Will Cameron Crowe ever rebound from his Elizabethtown slump? Probably not with the even-worse Aloha. Meanwhile, Dan calls out famed painter Leonardo Da Vinci, Elliott can’t remember the rich Bazooka Joe cast of characters, and Stu engages in something that’s definitely a bit.

Movies recommended in this episode:

It’s Such a Beautiful Day
Sicario
Class of 1984

The Flop House: Episode #193 - United Passions

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The Flop House
Guests: 
David Kalan

On this episode we uncharacteristically talk sports, specifically futbol, as we watched the definitely-not-about-a-corrupt-organization FIFA film, United Passions. And who better to join us as we wade into these unfamiliar waters than sports expert and Flop House nemesis, David Kalan. Elliott introduces us to the American Bean Council mascot, Stuart coins an all-new word, Dan instructs you on sportsball Fisher Stevens cosplay, and David tells us a fascinating story about Executive Decision.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Shaolin Soccer
Steve Jobs
The Battered Bastards of Baseball
Beasts of No Nation
Sicario
Beau Geste

The Flop House: Episode #191 - Men, Women & Children

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The Flop House

Think you’re too good for the Oxford comma, Men, Women & Children? WELL WE’RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU. Meanwhile Stu explains “X-Men nudity,” Dan makes a call for an annotated Flop House, and Elliott explains the music your kids’ kids are gonna love. Oh, and also there’s a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.

Paste theflophouse.libsyn.com/rss into iTunes (or your favorite podcatching software) to have new episodes of The Flop House delivered to you directly, as they’re released.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Spectre
Grandma
The Ipcress File
Razorback

The Flop House: Episode #189 - Ouija

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The Flop House

Every Shocktober must come, sadly, to an end, but not without our longest (and best?) episode of the month. Dan Macabre, Booart Skellington, and Elliott Killin' are joined by Hellie Haglund to discuss "Ouija," the movie that captures the thrill of moving a piece of wood across a board. Meanwhile Stuart discovers the double-meaning to House II, Dan expands his masterful celebrity impression repertoire, which turns the tables on interrupting Elliott, and Hallie insists that Ingmar Bergman was a breast man.
Movies recommended in this episode:

Seconds
Creep
My Best Fiend
Ginza Cosmetics

Thanks for all the inquiries about the health of Lulu, Dan's cat. Unfortunately, he and Sarah had to put her to sleep after 12 love-filled years. Her suffering is over, and now she's sniffing Hallie's boots in heaven. We miss her.

The Flop House: Episode #189 - Deliver Us from Evil

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The Flop House

No show notes because Dan's too busy caring for a sick cat.

The Great Switcheroo! Adventure Zone Flop House Takeover

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The Flop House

As part of the MaxFun Great Switcheroo, Justin, Travis, Griffin, and Merle McElroy of The Adventure Zone have taken on Leprechaun: Origins. Meanwhile, if you want to hear the Original Peaches (plus guest star Zhubin Parang) you can find them playing D&D over at The Adventure Zone!

The Flop House: Episode #188 - Unfriended

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The Flop House

It's the most magical time of the year! SHOCKTOBER! And this year we're kicking off with the millenials-on-a-computer-screen shocker "Unfriended." Meanwhile, Dan reads movie ad copy, Elliott talks Quidditch injuries, and Stuart reveals his poop fears.
Movies recommended in this episode:

The Visit
The Leopard Man
The Late Show

The Flop House: Episode #185 - Grace of Monaco

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The Flop House

Straight from Cannes to Lifetime (TM), it’s the Grace Kelly biopic Grace of Monaco. Meanwhile Elliott has a surprisingly deep well of Saved by the Bell knowledge, Dan speculates about Curly’s gold, and Stuart finds a new way to leave Dan out of things.

Movies recommended in this episode:
The Drop
Project Nim
Obvious Child

The Flop House: Episode #184 - Drive Hard

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The Flop House

Take two faded stars, put them in an Aussie C-picture, and encourage them to improvise wildly, and what do you get? The oddly compelling Drive Hard. Meanwhile Elliott improves various movies by adding a little vitamin C(age), Dan reveals what the H.P. in H.P. Lovecraft stands for, and Stuart almost gets Billy Joel lyrics right.

Movies recommended in this episode:

My Brilliant Career
Breaker Morant
The Dirty Dozen
The Interview (1998)

The Flop House: Episode #182 - Strange Magic

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The Flop House
Guests: 
Jordan Morris

In this episode, Jordan Morris of terrific MaxFun sister podcast Jordan, Jesse, Go! stops by to co-host while Elliott's in England, a move he immediately regretted when we watched Strange Magic. Meanwhile, Dan explains the proper way to drink beer, Stuart evinces his disdain for improv, and Jordan displays his surprisingly deep knowledge of Three Ninjas.

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Super Cops
The Overnight
Results

The Flop House: Episode #181 - Jupiter Ascending

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The Flop House

Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski sibling's most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.
Movies recommended in this episode:

Creep
Flash Gordon
Barbarella
The Visitor

The Flop House: Episode #179 - Mortdecai

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The Flop House

Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai! Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Mad Max: Fury Road
Need for Speed
Stuart Wellington mystery recommendation

The Flop House: Episode #177 - Dracula Untold

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The Flop House

We've seen him 3D, but are we ready for Dracula: Untold? Meanwhile Stuart demonstrates his innovative mixology, and Elliot and Dan reveal the surprising Dracula-centric details of the Mad Men finale.
Movies recommended in this episode:

Donnie Brasco
Spring
Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary

The Flop House: Episode #176 - The Boy Next Door

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The Flop House

It’s the moment that the bad movie cognoscenti have been waiting for, as we discuss The Boy Next Door. Meanwhile, Stuart explains the “character” he plays, Dan becomes a proponent of the female gaze, and Elliott describes some of the lesser-known sexually explicit Disney cartoons of the 60’s.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Citizenfour
Faults
It Follows

The Flop House: Episode #175 - Winter's Tale

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The Flop House

We return to the "romantic fantasy" genre that served us so well (?) with Upside Down as we discuss the Colin Farrell vehicle, Winter's Tale. Meanwhile, Dan explains Aerosmith's magic powers, Elliott implores a horse to help him make his booty call, and Stuart wonders whether he was the one in Spaceballs.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Run All Night
It Follows
Love Affair, or the Case of the Missing Switchboard Operator

The Flop House: Episode #174 - That Awkward Moment

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Show: 
The Flop House
Guests: 
Hallie Haglund

It’s the MaxFun drive! And, though Stu is in Puerto Rico, we pulled out the big guns with a return appearance by Hallie Haglund! She adds some much needed perspective to the asshole-dude-based rom-commery of That Awkward Moment. Meanwhile Elliott reveals his hatred of smooth men who have a lot of sex, Dan is, yet again, accused of racism, and Hallie can’t get over the similarity between our lead actress and farts.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Cold in July
All Good Things
Man is Not a Bird

The Flop House: Episode #173 - Transcendence

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The Flop House

Turns out that being Christopher Nolan’s cinematographer is not the same thing as being Christopher Nolan, as we found out when we endured Transcendence. Meanwhile Elliott explains Dan’s unusual way of reading, Stuart has a Transmorphers flashback, and Dan sings a little cow opera.

Movies and TV recommended in this episode:

The Evil Clergyman
The Woman on the Beach
Sunshine

The Flop House: Episode #172 - Legends of OZ: Dorothy's Return

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The Flop House

There’s just something about a terrible kids’ movie that brings out the best (?) in us, so we dive headfirst into the CGI flop Legends of OZ: Dorothy’s Return. Meanwhile, Stuart gives important advice to our kidnapped listeners, Dan inadvertently pitches the new hit movie “Uncatchable,” and Bizzarro Elliott makes an appearance.

Movies and TV recommended in this episode:

Sorcerer
Wild
Logan’s Run

The Flop House: Episode #171 - No Good Deed

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The Flop House

Flop House repeat offender Idris Elba romances Taraji P. Henson in the Valentine's Day favorite No Good Deed. Wait, did we say "romances?" We meant "terrorizes." Meanwhile Elliott tells us of James Bond films of the future, Dan tries to play a game of Radio Zork, and Stuart introduces the new Sweet Amazing Candy Penis.
Movies recommended in this episode:

Roma
Happy Christmas
Coherence

The Flop House: Episode #170 - Transformers: Age of Extinction

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The Flop House

We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us talking about the most recent Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Meanwhile, Elliott explains how to find a Transformer's clitoris, Stuart keeps on Castle Freakin' on, and sleepy Dan (sort of) returns.

Movies recommended in this episode:

Winter Light
Z
Rock N Roll Nightmare

The Flop House: Episode #169 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) LIVE!

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The Flop House

Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn.

A huge thanks to Mr. Matt Carman (1/2 of the excellent zine “I Love Bad Movies“) for recording the show and making sure we sound as good as we do.

The Flop House: Episode #168 - Rage

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The Flop House

Merry Cagemas everyone! The store was all out of Left Behind (well… it hasn’t been released to video or streaming yet), so we got you a Rage. We hope you’re not too disappointed. Meanwhile Elliott reads the Looney Tunes dinner specials, Dan reveals the medical source of his word-slurring, and Stuart just can’t stop chewing.

Movies and TV recommended in this episode:

Nightcrawler
Foxcatcher
For a Few Dollars More
9 Deaths of the Ninja

The Flop House: Episode #167 - From Justin to Kelly

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The Flop House

Song of the autumn contest winner Jason MacIssac decreed that we should be subjected to legendary season-one-of-American-Idol ancillary flop From Justin to Kelly. Did he take it easy on us, or is there now a bounty on his head? Meanwhile Stuart introduces his innovative new restaurant concept, and Elliott murders Dan on air.

Movies and TV recommended in this episode:

Inherent Vice
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
Nine Days of One Year

The Flop House: Episode #166 - Pompeii

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The Flop House

A returning Flop House director guides a cast of returning Flop House stars in an eruption of mediocrity named Pompeii. Meanwhile Stu asks a provocative question about Cenobites, Elliott reveals an early draft of a Robert Louis Stevenson classic, and Dan debuts his new hit character.

Movies and TV recommended in this episode:

Volcano
Housebound
The Hurricane
The Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith

The Flop House: Episode #165 - Robocop (2014)

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Show: 
Baby Geniuses

We watched Robocop (2014). Detailed show notes canceled on account of Dan being sick with Mongolian death flu.

The Flop House: Episode #164 - 300: Rise of an Empire

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The Flop House

Thus we enter November, the month known for having “No” theme. And, appropriately, we watched one of the most generic of modern action sequels, 300: Rise of an Empire. Meanwhile, Elliott lectures on Noid avoidance, Dan makes a public apology relating to one type of music and attacks another, and Stu makes an exciting announcement for enjoyers of comical books.

The Flop House #162 - The Quiet Ones

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Show: 
The Flop House
Guests: 
Hallie Haglund

BOOOOOGENS! Welcome to the first episode of SHOCKTOBER 2014 (and the first episode officially under our new podcast network, MaxFun). And because we would never Halloween trick you, instead we’re treating you to a guest appearance by Hallie Haglund, sitting in with the OP’s, to discuss The Quiet Ones. Meanwhile, Elliott lists all the great MaxFun podcasts, Stuart once again shows his ignorance of all things Internet, and Hallie puts Dan in his place.

Movies and TV recommended in this episode:

From Beyond
The Returned
Witchboard
The Hidden

The Flop House Ep. 161 - A Talking Cat!?!

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The Flop House

Smalltember continues with perhaps the smallest movie we've ever covered, the bad movie new classic "A Talking Cat!?!" Meanwhile Stuart entertains the lizard representative of Harlem, Elliott gives helpful mnemonic devices for the major German directors, and Dan does some research into the pervy past of the movie's creative team.