In this episode...
Jesse and Jordan discuss new names for the show, and settle on four finalists. One is an allusion to Rushmore, two are allusions to William Carlos Williams, one is something they kind of agree could be on a novelty t-shirt in 1995:
The Bombardment Society
The Untitled Jordan Morris Project
The Stupidity of Man
Ian calls in to suggest WWI Flying Aces.
Jordan agrees in principle, but thinks maybe it lacks a certain sexy element that helps for theme parties. Jesse reminds him how sexy the Red Baron is in the Red Baron Pizza commercials.
We also hear from Aaron, who suggests Frogmen and Vikings. Jesse and Jordan discuss vikings, as Jordan feels Vikings are too same-old, same-old. Frogmen are applauded, but
Jesse suggests cavemen, which Jordan roundly rejects.
John Hodgman called the court to order in the matter of Jordan v. Lauren, with respect to who should buy stuff for their house.
Lauren presented her case -- she had bought lots of stuff for the apartment she shared with Jordan, and he had bough almost nothing. Upon further questioning, it came out that Lauren doesn't have a real bedroom, but rather sleeps in a den.
Jordan countered that he had bought some mugs, and his mother had bought them a set of bowls and plates from Ikea.
Jordan described himself as a simple guy, who has never owned much. Jesse added that Jordan's dad once gave him a folding camping chair, and Jordan described the U-Store-It, rented by his vagabond father.
Judge Hodgman asked Lauren what restitution she sought. Lauren said she wanted some financial support, but wasn't sure what it should be.
An Amicus Brief was heard from Scamboogah, who argued that they should get out of the situation entirely.
In closing arguments, it came to light that Jordan and Lauren eat with small plastic Ikea children's forks, and sit on the floor because they have no chairs.
(Music: "Burning Buildings" by Total Annihilation)
Judge Hodgman renders his decision
(Music: "Like You" by The Moops)
Jim Real, the Master of Would You Rather, asks: WOULD YOU RATHER... develop an immunity to the common cold... or win three olympic gold medals?
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Hear Episode Two