Fat Bald Hodgman Controversy: Jesse Fires Back!

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I don't like to get involved in CELEBRITY SPATS, but you can't insult FRIENDS OF THE PROGRAM and get away with it.

Earlier this week, the public radio financial "news" program Marketplace ran a piece comparing Mac and PC owners. It primarily contained the sort of information you might expect -- allusions to Priuses and lattes and the like. Which would have been fine... BUT FOR THE FACT THAT IT ALSO CONTAINED VICIOUS SLANDER.

Perhaps that slander would have slipped unnoticed into the ears of our nation's Prius-driving, latte-sipping public radio listeners, if it weren't for eagle-eared Matt Tobey of the CC Insider. Tobey, a righteous warrior in the cause of JUSTICE, pointed out a vicious, unfounded accusation buried within the piece. "Reporter" Andrea Gardner claims, with reference to the Mac v. PC commercials: "the PC guy is overweight and balding."

Excuse me?

Pardon me?

HOW DARE YOU?!

As we all know, the PC is portrayed by John Hodgman, the handsome, Yale-educated comic writer and former professional literary critic.

And as all of us with ANY SENSE know, JOHN HODGMAN IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT BALDING!

It may be that the esteemed Mr. Hodgman is slightly overweight, though he's been looking quite trim and health lately in my view. HOWEVER: he has a full, healthy head of hair. He certainly has more hair than I, a NOT-BALD MAN TEN YEARS HIS JUNIOR.

I have registered with the Marketplace staff my EXTREME DISPLEASURE with this IMMORAL AND POSSIBLY ILLEGAL DISCOURSE. I have even recorded it for their benefit, and they promise to REPLAY this recording on this coming TUESDAY during their so-called "program."

If you wish to register your opinion of their opinion of a GREAT AMERICAN, Mr. John Hodgman, you can use Marketplace's comment form here.

(Above: NOT BALD, BUT VERY FUNNY)

UPDATE:
More from CC Insider
And from Mssr. Hodgman

Comments

John Hodgman is a lovely man. Given his credentials, he'd easily fall under that Mac stereotype. Which is the ironic thing. Justin Long, however, is horrible, and there's no way in hell he would have been able to help John McClain save America if he had used a Mac.The thing of it is, the whole prius/latte stereotype isn't even the correct stereotype. They're not just a random association of neo-hippies and beatniks. Are they smug? From my experience, they very well can be. About as much as Linux users, or Canadians.Windows machines and users get such a bad rap lately, though. And it's not fair. What's so bad about an easily upgradeable, unhyped piece of machinery?Jesse, you must feel some of this ire, given your Zune ownership. Let it be said that I am no Mac hater. However, Apple is a dirge on civilization.Everyone thinks Microsoft is, but they do damn fine work. The world runs on PCs, mind you. Apple, on the other hand, is like communism: they seem like they have good ideas at the time...In conclusion, I attribute John's abuse directly to Apple, for making him out to be some L7, old fogey. He's smarter and more in-touch than anyone at Apple (or anyone that would actually buy a Mac because the guy from Jeepers Creepers told them to).

I'm going to have to disagree with your balding remark. While it is true that Mr. Hodgman is not balding, to say such is stupid, you make it sound as if balding is a bad thing.That is all.

WTF is an L7?

L7 = square and/or loser.