OK, kids, the fundraising drive is winding to a close, but the need to keep Jesse fed will continue. As an esteemed donor, I will exercise my right to feel superior and lord it over all you non-contributing deadbeats. (Isn’t that what my $5 per month bought me? I thought so!) So, I want to give you some inspiring words that might help push you from non-donor to donor.
My personal story: This is the first public media I have ever contributed to. I grew up watching PBS (Nova, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, uncounted specials, etc, etc) and whenever it was pledge time, I felt not a twinge of guilt or compulsion to donate. I laughed at their pathetic pleas for help. I scorned their miserable attempts to make me feel guilty. I spat on their offers of tote bags, record albums, 8-tracks, and other hippie paraphernalia. (My mom made me clean the spit off the TV but it was so worth it.)
But now, I am a donor. A whole $5 a month. That’s really not enough. That is a pitiful amount. I am a grown up person with a job and everything! But, I know many of you are in the same situation I am, financially. There are times when there is not $5 left before payday. It sucks, and it’s not because I blow it on Hot Wheels cars and whiskey. I’ll spare you the miserable details, but I am a single father of a high shool graduating daughter, and my cash is spoken for by an ex-wife, attorneys, and the IRS before I even see any of it. Plus being a dad costs a lot too. For someone with a decent career, and a good amount of freelance web design work, I’m still just squeaking by.
All that to say: my own needs are such that I can easily not contribute, and not feel a bit of guilt about it. I’m sure your specifics are different. You certainly married better than I did, or did not marry at all, avoiding the whole “paying-an-ex-with-blood-from-a-stone” scenario. And you may not be a single parent, or have the IRS breathing down your neck. But, you have other things: school expenses, dorm fees, hookers and blow, bus passes, clothing, big dank, and, probably even purchases of that rock and rap music you kids love so much. (This is because you are too dense to have learned how to get it for free, like normal people, but that’s another story.)
In any case, there’s plenty of reasons you can’t donate, and that’s fine. But as I often tell my daughter when she feels overwhelmed by a task:
| Quote: |
| Don’t say “I can’t.” Say, “How can I?” |
Here’s some creative ways to donate:
First open a PayPal account if you don’t already have one. Move whatever money you can into that account. $5, $10, $20, whatever. Then, donate $5 a month. (Or more!) You will have a cushion so the $5 doesn’t come out of your bank account when you least expect it, and you have to scream OH SHIT because you overdrew.
Then. keep funding the PayPal account by selling things on eBay, skipping a lunch or two (eat leftovers!), donating plasma, begging your friends, or signing up to be a test subject at a medical facility.
There are countless ways to figure it out if you really try. One movie each month is more than $5, even at matinee prices. It might take some sacrifice. It might take some time. But it can be done. And you can do it!
If it turns out you really, really, can’t donate right now, that’s fine. It’s just one more person for the donors to feel superior to. But, keep listening to the podcasts, and telling others about them. The more people who listen, the better the chances of Jesse of getting more support. Spread the Word of Jesse. Tell your best friend that Jesse loves him and has a wonderful plan for his life. Think of how empty and dark your life was before Maximum Fun came in and gave you hope and laughter. Don’t let your friends remain in the dark!
-Darryl