We at YLNT HQ loved Jesse’s DIY money-saving microwave popcorn tip. We pinned it to the Reading Wall for a month. It made Adam cry. Twice. So far it’s saved us $140 in popcorn-related surcharges.
It’s a great tip. But like most people, Jesse neglected the demographic we can least afford to slight: supervillains. In fact, per the Supervillain Appeasement Act of 2005, blogs are legally required to provide consideration for the special needs of the differently-moralled (otherwise they feel overlooked, get mad, and then it’s nukes on the moon all over again).
So, to ensure fair coverage, here are a few penny-savers for the evil geniuses among us:
- Snakes are a great choice for your Tomb of Death. But don’t fall for expensive “exotic” species. It’s all marketing! Nobody bought pit vipers back when they were called Patagonian toothworms. Fill your T.o.D. with a domestic poisonous snake. Copperheads are quite lethal. If you have enough of them. And you will.
- Does the electric fence around your secret island lair need to be electrified all the time? Think about your carbon footprint, badguy! Install a motion detector near the fence, and only charge to 50,000 volts when there’s a lost hiker nearby to actually zap.
- Loyal henchmen aren’t really in it for the payday; they’re just lonely kids with daddy issues. Don’t pay workers who are happy to kill for free.
- Lots of evil geniuses overpaid for clunky, Flash-based web sites full of bandwidth-chugging visions of fiery holocaust. Keep it simple, M. Knight. Lay out your plan for bringing the Age of Humanity to a close, and maybe post a sketch of the giant moth/Eva Mendes hybrid creatures whom you will dispatch across the planet to do your bidding once everyone else is dead.
- Never buy microwave popcorn. HUGE rip-off.