Everyone slather on your coconut oil and turn on Judge Judy, because it's time to hear about the sexual misadventures of Erin and Bryan. Plus, we're talking about the white Beyonce herself: Michelle Duggar. She and her bangs are sending out robocalls that are incredibly misinformed and offensive. Thankfully, the amazing Tanlines are here to talk Nashville and the Ying Yang Twins!
This week, Bryan tried Lyft for the first time and he was extremely selfless. He didn’t bother the driver with smiles, conversation, or even eye contact! Also, Bryan discusses a poll that illustrates LGBTs relationship with the church. And did you know? Female entrepreneurs aren’t getting as many financial loans for business because -- you guessed it! They’re women. Paris Hilton, please be sure to watch this episode. Erin has a proposal that you simply MUST hear.
It’s time for the bi-annual update on Bryan’s electric bill! And it’s also time to hear about breast feeding women who are getting a lot of shade thrown on them. Also, do you remember when medicine started? Bryan and Erin remember. Well we’ve come a long way, baby. There’s now a pill available that can be used to reduce the risk of HIV infection. And no one could have a problem with that, right? Right?
Erin is back from a whirlwind trip to Nevada City, and she’s ready to promote her new book: “What I Have to Say as a Divorcée on Cocaine.” Sadly, it appears that Erin’s advice book hasn’t reached everyone - a man was recently fired for using the word “homophone” and Nicki Minaj is still upsetting people by having a butt. At least Bryan’s Nicki Minaj impression is spot-on.
Now gather round children and ye shall hear the story of a bunch of companies that have placed men in charge of making decisions about Maxi pads and nail polish. Because if not men, then who? Women?! Please. Plus Cosmopolitan is getting all equal-opportunity in their articles, including one detailing 28 mind-blowing sex positions for lesbians. Did you ever want to hear Bryan utter the phrase “Rockin’ Rockette” while referring to a sex position? Look no further!
Let’s talk “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.” Actually - let’s not. Because Bryan and Erin hated it so much that they weep for the future. Where my gay and lady characters at? At least we know there’s one new lady character in this crazy, messed up world: Thor! She’s taking care of business and not listening to the haters. Plus singer-songwriter LP stops by to whistle the theme song from Friends and sing us a song! If you ever wanted to see Erin cry behind a dog, you gotta watch.
Ghost the Musical is happening, everyone. So take your Advil and start warning your childhood secretaries that you’ll need a ride. At least, that’s how Bryan and Erin will be enjoying it. Plus, famous soprano Tamar Iveri got herself booted from Opera Australia by being homophobic. Luckily, Jack and Rachel Antonoff are on the show to turn the “Shade or No Shade” tables on Bryan and Erin. What a week!
Summer is here and you know what that means - It’s time for Bryan to trick a bunch of old women into going down the rides at Six Flags Hurricane Harbor. And hold on to your hats, because the Pope got caught saying some dumb stuff about women, prompting Erin’s soon to be classic segment: "Dude, C’mon Man You Don’t Get It." Plus, the fantastic Sharon Van Etten is here to conduct a rousing rendition of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” You have to hear to believe!
Erin & Bryan went to a Robyn concert and they’ve got the mullets to prove it! Too bad the Supreme Court is ruining everything by letting Hobby Lobby (Mrs. Lobby if you’re nasty) refuse to pay for its employees’ birth control. It’s a good thing we have guest Rhett Miller to serenade us with a song and help us forget our troubles.
Erin and Bryan are high on life! Or rather, high on martinis and gym floor Xanax. But at least it dulls the pain of Adam Richman from Man v. Food using the thinspiration hashtag, and homophobic slurs heard at the World Cup. It’s like we always say, “Late for Hale–Bopp, early for ‘mmmbop!’”