ThrowingShade's blog

Throwing Shade #61: Communes & Vagina Massage

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Have you ever had an earth witch on a commune stand across from you and massage herself from her legs to her vagina to her chest without breaking eye contact? Then you and Erin have a ton in common this week. Also, a lesbian teacher was fired from her school for getting pregnant and did you know that women only make up less than 10 percent of all statues in the U.S.? Sad but true but dumb.

Throwing Shade #60: Clown Sex & Hustlers

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Can we talk about the clown world for a second? We can, and we do. While we’re at it, let’s talk about sex (performed by men in exchange for money). And, it’s time for Erin’s annual performance review! Will Bryan criticize her for qualities that he wouldn’t criticize in men? Probably, considering his thoughts about women doing voice-overs in films. Kabuki!

Throwing Shade #59: Michael Sam & Kimbra

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Move over, Penn & Teller! There's a new Vegas duo in town! The only difference is that instead of magic, they sing mash-ups like Girl Talk - but so much worse! Plus ESPN wants to talk about Michael Sam, and the fact that he's just your average football player will NOT deter them from making him into a story. Guest star Kimbra, won't you soothe us with stories of Emirates Airlines and your aversion to body paint?


Throwing Shade #58: Ice Bucket Challenge & Tanlines

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Everyone slather on your coconut oil and turn on Judge Judy, because it's time to hear about the sexual misadventures of Erin and Bryan. Plus, we're talking about the white Beyonce herself: Michelle Duggar. She and her bangs are sending out robocalls that are incredibly misinformed and offensive. Thankfully, the amazing Tanlines are here to talk Nashville and the Ying Yang Twins!


Throwing Shade #57: Disneyland & the Secret App

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This week, Bryan tried Lyft for the first time and he was extremely selfless. He didn’t bother the driver with smiles, conversation, or even eye contact! Also, Bryan discusses a poll that illustrates LGBTs relationship with the church. And did you know? Female entrepreneurs aren’t getting as many financial loans for business because -- you guessed it! They’re women. Paris Hilton, please be sure to watch this episode. Erin has a proposal that you simply MUST hear.


Throwing Shade #56: Breast-Feeding & Truvada

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It’s time for the bi-annual update on Bryan’s electric bill! And it’s also time to hear about breast feeding women who are getting a lot of shade thrown on them. Also, do you remember when medicine started? Bryan and Erin remember. Well we’ve come a long way, baby. There’s now a pill available that can be used to reduce the risk of HIV infection. And no one could have a problem with that, right? Right?


Throwing Shade #55: Nicki Minaj & Cocaine

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Erin is back from a whirlwind trip to Nevada City, and she’s ready to promote her new book: “What I Have to Say as a Divorcée on Cocaine.” Sadly, it appears that Erin’s advice book hasn’t reached everyone - a man was recently fired for using the word “homophone” and Nicki Minaj is still upsetting people by having a butt. At least Bryan’s Nicki Minaj impression is spot-on.


Throwing Shade #54: Lesbian Sex Positions & Madonna

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Now gather round children and ye shall hear the story of a bunch of companies that have placed men in charge of making decisions about Maxi pads and nail polish. Because if not men, then who? Women?! Please. Plus Cosmopolitan is getting all equal-opportunity in their articles, including one detailing 28 mind-blowing sex positions for lesbians. Did you ever want to hear Bryan utter the phrase “Rockin’ Rockette” while referring to a sex position? Look no further!


Throwing Shade #53: Planet of the Apes & LP

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Let’s talk “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.” Actually - let’s not. Because Bryan and Erin hated it so much that they weep for the future. Where my gay and lady characters at? At least we know there’s one new lady character in this crazy, messed up world: Thor! She’s taking care of business and not listening to the haters. Plus singer-songwriter LP stops by to whistle the theme song from Friends and sing us a song! If you ever wanted to see Erin cry behind a dog, you gotta watch.


Throwing Shade #52: Jack and Rachel Antonoff

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Ghost the Musical is happening, everyone. So take your Advil and start warning your childhood secretaries that you’ll need a ride. At least, that’s how Bryan and Erin will be enjoying it. Plus, famous soprano Tamar Iveri got herself booted from Opera Australia by being homophobic. Luckily, Jack and Rachel Antonoff are on the show to turn the “Shade or No Shade” tables on Bryan and Erin. What a week!


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