Judge John Hodgman

Judge John Hodgman Episode 68: The Cluck Stops Here

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Lauren brings the case against her husband Jon. The couple just moved to the surburbs, and Lauren envisions the perfect addition to their new big backyard: chickens! She says she'll take care of them and they both will benefit from the fresh eggs and bug control. Jon worries that they'll become too much work. Is Lauren playing chicken? Only one man can decide.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 66: Antisocial Networking

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Show: 
Bullseye

This week’s case pits friends Lauren and Mike against each other in a battle over social graces. Lauren brings the case against Mike – she claims Mike texts, emails, and updates his social networks when he should be devoting his attention to their conversation. Mike believes performing these tasks while socializing with others is completely appropriate, especially if the offending phone use is for professional purposes. Is it time for Mike to hang up the phone, or is Lauren wrong in prioritizing face time over screen time? Only one man can decide.

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Judge John Hodgman Ep. 57: A Wing and A Player

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Michael and Patrick have been best friends since high school. Michael likes to think of himself as Patrick's wingman, helping alert him to interested ladies when they're out together. But, Patrick doesn’t see this service the same way. He thinks his friend lacks the subtlety to be a wingman, believing that Michael will overexaggerate a girl's interest in Patrick to get him to ask for her number. Michael contends that Patrick is merely too modest causing him to mistake genuine flirting for politeness.

Is Michael helping his friend find love and happiness, or is he steering him towards disappointment? Only the Judge can determine if the ladies are batting eyes or making benign banter in this week’s Judge John Hodgman!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 54: Die Flederhaus

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Hodgmaniacs, we're into the final week of the annual MAX FUN DRIVE, and the time to donate is now. It's your donations that make the show possible, so if you love this show, please take a moment to support it. We can't make the magic happen without your help, and there's a level of support to fit any budget. Thank you.

Brothers Adam and Noah share a home bought out of foreclosure. They are slowly fixing up the house together and the rent is cheap, but it comes at a cost: bats! The webbed-winged creatures seem to be entering the house through the cracks in the unfinished roof of the bathroom. Animal-lover Noah is spooked by their presence, but would rather keep the bats confined to the bathroom than see them come to harm. His brother Adam meanwhile has a lust for blood matched only by vampire bats, and would like his brother to join him in beating them to death.

Should the brothers run in fear, or face their phobias head-on? And just what is the solution to this flying mammal mess? In this battle of the bats, only one man has the answers: Judge John Hodgman!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 53: Cannery Row

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Guests: 
Alton Brown

Hodgmaniacs, the annual MAX FUN DRIVE is happening right now. It's your donations that make the show possible, so if you love this show, please take a moment to support it. There's a support level to fit any budget, and any and all donations are hugely appreciated. Thank you.

Ara and her mom Julia enjoy spending quality mother-daughter bonding time together while canning all sorts of foods, from apple sauce to jams and chutneys. Ara has brought the case against her mother that their health protocols are not up to snuff, insisting they should follow USDA safety manuals, books, and internet advice to make sure their canned goods are 100% safe. Julia says Ara's detailed demands are driving her nuts, and they should continue to rely on the tried-and-true methods that have always done them well.

This culinary clash falls outside the realm of Judge John Hodgman's area of expertise, and the good judge defers to the encyclopedic knowledge of Food Network personality Alton Brown! You probably know Alton from his show Good Eats, and he also serves as the host of Iron Chef America.

Will Ara's meticulous methods rule the day, or does mother truly know best? In this food fight pitting mother against daughter, only Judge John Hodgman can settle the score!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 51: The Wedding Clashers

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Lindsay and John are a married couple locked in a bridal brouhaha, having been invited to a pair of weddings that fall on the same day. John wants to go to his childhood friend's wedding by himself, leaving Lindsay free to attend her cousin's ceremony. But Lindsay believes they need to pick one and show up together.

Will the Judge find in favor of family or friendship? And will these lovebirds stick together, or fly solo? Find out the answers to all this and more on an all-new Judge John Hodgman.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 48: The Wonderful, Terrible, Terrible Towel Trouble

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Bobby and Katie are dating and like many young couples are at odds over towels. But unlike most domesticated disputes of the household variety, these towels serve a higher, almost divine purpose. To their fans, the Pittsburgh Steelers have a place amongst the heavens - the most memorable play in Steelers history is called the Immaculate Reception! Just as the many religions of the world have their own iconography, so too does Steeler Nation in the form of the “Terrible Towel.”

Bobby has become a Steelers fan within the past year and a half he’s been dating Katie. Bobby purchased a towel (the proceeds go towards an autism charity) and feels that once it’s yours and the money has gone on the charity, you are free to do what you want with it. He also asserts that his love for the Pittsburgh Steelers is no less than those ordained from birth.

Katie, being born into the Steeler family, has the utmost respect and pride for the Towel. She offers that the towel is more than a foam finger or a pom-pom, and that the towel and the history of the franchise are one in the same. Its disrespect in any way is an affront to the team and the charity it supports.

So, should the towel be treated as a weaving of fabrics meant to absorb liquids or as a sacred object of one of football’s most historic franchises? Only one man has the secular fortitude to decide on the next Judge John Hodgman!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 47: The Carry On Carryings-On

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Keep Calm and Carry on.

Blair and her sister Lisa both travel frequently for business and pleasure (occasionally together). Blair always brings a carry-on instead of checking a bag, since her trips are usually of a shorter duration, perhaps two to three days. She is 5'1" and sometimes needs assistance getting her bag into the overhead bin. A helpful person usually offers their services; if not, Blair is not opposed to asking for help from a fellow passenger.

Lisa feels that if a person does not have the ability to handle their own carry-on bag and get into the compartment without assistance, they have the option of, and should choose to, check their baggage.

So, who is free to carry on and who won't help you move along? Only one man can decide, but be careful!- contents in the overhead bin may have shifted during the flight- on the next Judge John Hodgman!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 45: Apocalypse Row

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Pop Quiz: The super-pocalypse is imminent --the zombies have already crawled out of their graves and infiltrated the capitol. Volcanic earthquakes have devoured the coastal cities in flames and you realize you’re no longer safe in your home. Where do you go?

Carrie and her husband Phillip are at odds like billionaires and the 99%. The dispute of whether or not to Occupy Wal-Mart is at such a fever-pitch the four horseman are breaking a sweat. Phillip has a military background and believes that the most logical plan is to take control of a nearby Wal-Mart which is fully stocked with food, ammunition and has cold storage. It’s also easily defensible.

Carrie, on the other hand, feels that a more holistic approach to fleeing the locust swarm is the answer. She posits that Wal-Mart on Black Friday is already like the rapture and that the best medicine is to stay away. With abundant farmland and plenty of Natural Resources nearby, a return to nature will provide a safe haven.

Should they batten down the hatches and roll back the prices or live off the valley in the shadow of death? Only one brave man (who’s actually written a book about just this sort of thing) can decide! Judge-ment-Day John Hodgman

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 44: The Bedding Crasher

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Chris and Emily bring a case against their friend, Pat. Pat has asked to stay at one of their small apartments while visiting their area. He says he's willing to sleep on the couch. They say that he has a good-paying job, they have a small apartment, and he shouldn't have put them in the awkward position of turning him down.

Is it appropriate to ask to crash on the couch when you could reasonably afford a hotel?

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