Judge John Hodgman Ep. 57: A Wing and A Player

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Michael and Patrick have been best friends since high school. Michael likes to think of himself as Patrick's wingman, helping alert him to interested ladies when they're out together. But, Patrick doesn’t see this service the same way. He thinks his friend lacks the subtlety to be a wingman, believing that Michael will overexaggerate a girl's interest in Patrick to get him to ask for her number. Michael contends that Patrick is merely too modest causing him to mistake genuine flirting for politeness.

Is Michael helping his friend find love and happiness, or is he steering him towards disappointment? Only the Judge can determine if the ladies are batting eyes or making benign banter in this week’s Judge John Hodgman!

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EVIDENCE

Filed by Michael -- "I submit this very low-quality picture of me and Patrick, with Patrick on the right. You will see Patrick is looking very svelte and has a head full of hair, illuminating exactly how harmless my initial joke was. Look how handsome he is! If I looked like that, I'd assume people were flirting with me all the time.

Also, it's important to note the typical Bergman shot in which this picture was taken. Well, maybe it's not important, but I noticed. "

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Comments

Brilliant.

Jesse Thorne, thank you for making espresso come out my nose with "are we talking about your junk?"
Brilliant.

<3

Patrick is adorable! If he's ever in Brooklyn, tell him to look me up! ;)

Justice for Kentucky

Judge Hodgman: Thank you for introducing the principle of law and order to "Unbridled Kentucky" (that's really what it says on our license plates). It's because of courageous lawman such as yourself that the did frontier was, and continues to be, tamed. We look forward to the day when you and your posse ride into town!

Dude can't find good indian food in Chicago??

seriously?? try Devon Ave.

I think I have some mental

I think I have some mental block with this one. The one in Chicago wants to tell his friend who lives in Kentucky when women are flirting with him. Except they don't live near each other so he actually can't regardless of the ruling. And the one from Kentucky does pick up on flirting except maybe that one time five years ago. But Chicago guy needs it confirmed, for some reason, that five years ago, that woman was flirting. And then some weird self-flagellation thing about how much better he thinks his friend is than him? I really think I missed something.

Subtext

I think what everyone missed here is that the guy in Chicago (with a girlfriend) is secretly in love with his Kentucky friend. There didn't seem to be any point to their "dispute" except for Chicago guy to have a forum to express his intense (and allegedly platonic but who was he kidding) devotion to his handsomer buddy.

Finally...

not a contender for the Marriage Ref 3.0

They're both handsome.

Um, they are both pretty handsome.

They're both perfectly fine looking

Seriously, from Hodgman's description I expected this photo to look like Brad Pitt taking his besweater-vested English bulldog for a walk.

They're both perfectly good looking young men.

Patrick is cute, and Michael...

...sounds Canadian.

Marc in Paris

Is Patrick doing a secret

Is Patrick doing a secret Jeff Goldblum impression?

Re: Is Patrick doing a secret

And if not, why not?

This is the funniest thing

This is the funniest thing I've ever heard, I think I'll take my pants off to celebrate!

Only if Michael is a

Only if Michael is a toned-down Quentin Tarantino (Hodgman/Tarantino crossbreed?). Especially with that jawline.