Judge John Hodgman Episode 95: Polly Wanna Justice?

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Kim brings a case against her husband, Chris. Kim has owned a parrot, Kobe, for a little over twenty years. The problem: Chris works at home and Kobe's constant squawking is driving him crazy. Kobe isn't too keen about Chris, either; Kim says that the parrot hates both her husband and their 12-year-old son. Are Kim and her family going too far to accommodate Kobe, or is it time for Kobe to (metaphorically) spread his wings and fly? Judge John Hodgman decides.

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Special thanks to Jaron James, who suggested a variation of this title.

EVIDENCE

Exhibit A:

"This is Kobe yelling "Kim" which he will do for hours at a time. My husband's office doorway can be seen through the cage...yep; it's about 25 feet away." (Video Link)

Exhibit B:

"This is Kobe being a sweet bird – he likes watching operas on the computer from my shoulder." (Video Link)

Exhibit C:

Kobe occasionally causes the dog to howl. (Video Link)

Exhibit D:
The parrot rescue website. Kim: "I've talked to a local avian vet and she and her organization have an excellent reputation."

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Comments

Polly wanna Justice

I thought this was a very considered judgement and it really touched me that the Judge addressed the parrot, which if it could not understand the language would at the very least have had a sense of the tone of the conversation. People need to understand and step up to the commitments they make when adopting a non-human being into their household and I think this verdict was entirely appropriate and considered the needs of both humans and animals in the household -- bravo!

I think Kobe got off easy