Judge John Hodgman

Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 377: Waffle House Arrest

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Maeve Higgins

Shenlyn brings the case against her husband, Martin. Shenlyn loves to go out for breakfast with family and friends, but Martin prefers breakfast at home. He thinks that he can cook breakfast at home better and for less money. She wishes he would participate in her breakfast outings. With Guest Bailiff Maeve Higgins!

You can find Maeve on Twitter @maevehiggins. Her book MAEVE IN AMERICA is out now wherever books are sold! You can listen to her podcast Mothers of Invention wherever you get your podcasts.

If you want to watch Judge John Hodgman's instructions on how to restore an old cast iron pan, check out his highlighted cast iron stories on Instagram! Follow him @johnhodgman, and while you're there you can follow the show at @judgejohnhodmgan!

EVIDENCE

Testimony from Shenlyn's mom:

I enjoy going out for breakfast with my daughter because it’s a relaxing time of the morning to sit, talk and share our feelings, ideas, and what we’ve been up to lately all while we are enjoying the goodies that we have chosen, out of all the other food that is offered at a breakfast cafe -- goodies that I would not normally have at home. Breakfast cafes also offer a wider choice of coffee types and toppings I would not have at home either. A good morning cup of coffee is such a relaxing experience that is more enjoyably spent drinking with my loved ones. These outings are special and memorable family times together.

Testimony from Martin's friend, Daniel:

Martin's eggs are perfectly cooked, with just the right amount of tenderness to the yolk. His gluten free toast is crisp yet doughy, and generously lavished with high quality butter. The greens come right from the garden which he painstakingly cares for like his third child. His plating is highly Instagram-able, often demanding upwards of 5 whole minutes of everyone taking pictures before we are ready to dive in. The condiments are abundant and perfectly paired to the meal. The teas he prepares (iced in the Summer, hot in the Winter) always result in an argument on the car ride home between my fiance and I as she requests I bring more to the arena in terms of domestic barista.

I've gotten so caught up with the extravagant food I almost forgot to mention the decor! Martin and Shenlyn's kitchen opens up to the living room with a view of the beautiful shimmering pool in the backyard. Whites and perfectly blended pastels complement the immaculate cast iron cookware and precisely ordered counters and drawers in the kitchen. Uplifting quotes hand painted by Shenlyn grace the walls. As their wonderful children run around playing we sit, enjoy, and feel at ease. We leave feeling happy and peaceful, and wondering why the rest of life's experiences can't be more like breakfast at the *LAST NAME REDACTED* household.

--

Thank you to Gavin Pouliot for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 376: Nein Tense of the Law

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Maeve Higgins

Colleen brings the case against her husband, Kevin. They send their kids to a German language immersion school. Kevin has begun taking German language classes and wants to practice speaking it with the kids at home. But Colleen thinks that his terrible pronunciation will have adverse effects on the kids' learning. With Guest Bailiff Maeve Higgins!

You can find Maeve on Twitter @maevehiggins. Her book MAEVE IN AMERICA is out now wherever books are sold! You can listen to her podcast Mothers of Invention wherever you get your podcasts.

EVIDENCE

Click here to check out Kevin's evidence PowerPoint presentation.

--

Thank you to Rob Waters for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 375: Swipe Right to Remain Silent

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Cristela Alonzo

Phillip brings the case against his girlfriend, Rachel. The two of them met on a dating app. Rachel wants to tell people they met another way, but Phillip thinks they should just be honest. With Guest Judge Cristela Alonzo!

We were thrilled to have Guest Judge Cristela join the court on this week's episode. You can find her on Twitter @Cristela9. Her standup special, Lower Classy, is on Netflix. And of course, don't miss her on Bubble, MaxFun's scripted sci-fi comedy show!

EVIDENCE

--

Thank you to Anne Mandola Jones for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 374: Statute of Celebrations

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Rick brings the case against his wife, Sarah. When Sarah’s birthday month rolls around, she likes to plan different celebrations with various groups of people in her life. Rick thinks it’s too many birthday events and would like to set a two-celebration limit. With Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Huge thanks to Monte for joining us again this summer! You can catch him on the airwaves in Northampton, MA on 93.9 WRSI The River!

EVIDENCE

SUBMITTED BY RICK:

Click here for Rick's birthday stats and graphs.

SUBMITTED BY SARAH:

--

Thank you to Jordan Welch & Jennifer Milner for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 373: Much Ado About Clothing

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Monte Belmonte

Jason brings the case against his friend, Francisco. They run a community Shakespeare theatre group together. Jason would like to try doing more contemporary and experimental Shakespeare adaptations, but Francisco is opposed. With Summertime Funtime Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

EVIDENCE

Affidavit from Marie, costume designer on 2018’s Henry the Fourth, a "Generic Old Timey Shakespeare Land" production:

This past February I was a Co-Costume Designer for Francisco's production of Henry the IV Pt. 1. During that time, it became clear to me that the practice of doing non-descript/non-specific period dress for every production, semi-affectionately referred to as "old timey Francisco land", was wearing on the designers as well as Madison Shakespeare Company. While there are a number of reasons that this has caused some very stressful situations, the larger share of stress and discomfort has been caused by these core elements.

- A fundamental misunderstanding of the resources available to costume designers and coordinators for period dress. When discussing initial designs and resources, it was mentioned that there were a number of resources available to us to find the necessary garments, via costume shops and other companies in the area. This turned out to not be the case and most of the items that ended up in the show were either hand made by us or bought. Very few, in comparison, were borrowed.

- Underestimation of the time needed to complete designs, garments and garment acquisition for non-descript period clothing. Costumes often become an afterthought until about 3-4 weeks prior to opening night. By then, many options are no longer available to us and the cost, workload, and stress begin to pile up. Typical build/acquisition timelines run at least 6 weeks or more.

- Cost is borderline prohibitive. Period costumes cost a lot of money... especially when there is a very short build/acquisition timeline.

- Consistent unclear communication regarding the desired historical period style and general mood of the clothing. When you are not specific about the time period for the production, it is 10x harder to find the necessary garments. Please do not leave us hanging out in a non-specific mood that gives us no real information about what you are looking for. We want to make you happy, please just tell us what you want.

- Unwillingness to consider other, more awesome, modern/post-modern dress design concepts. I would be SO willing to do a modern, post-apocalyptic or even a futuristic design concept, were we not stuck in "Old-Timey Francisco Land”!

- Inevitable use of heavy, synthetic fabrics and the subsequent discomfort of the actors who must wear them. I realize none of us really care how the actor's feel, still . . . It's worth noting. Less time for design means crappier fabric and garment choices.

Affidavit from Bridget, costume designer on 2018’s Henry the Fourth, a "Generic Old Timey Shakespeare Land" Production:

I love me some old-timey Authentic Period Shakespeare as much as the next gal, but one should consider limiting the annual number of productions involving houppelandes, hozen, and paned slops when time, funding, and costume resources are all limited. Do you know anyone who has a spare set of full plate armor that they can loan out for free for a month or so? Have any friends who collect replica medieval turnshoes in a wide range of sizes? Are your sewing skills so mad that you can crank out a corset or ruff collar in a couple of days and still have time to sleep?

Do you enjoy making costumers weep hysterical, hopeless tears into half-cut bolts of upholstery fabric at 2 a.m.?

No? You don't? Then think about a nice contemporary-themed show with stage blacks and some spiffy props and makeup.

Willy Shakes would understand. He was a broke actor, too.

--

Thank you to Chris Ubben for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 372: Edible Arraignments

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Jordan Morris

Judge John Hodgman is away from the court on this week's episode. Bailiff Jesse Thorn is taking over judging duties, with friend of the court Jordan Morris serving as bailiff!

Jennie brings the case against her husband, John. John has received a lot of gag gifts over the years that happen to be food items. He is currently storing all of them in the fridge. Jennie wants him to get rid of the gifted food but John is too sentimental!

EVIDENCE

You can check out BRIAN AND LINDSAY WILL TOTALLY EAT THAT here:

--

Thank you to Jason Jackman for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 371: Into the Teal

| 0 comments

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They talk about bedroom wall colors, loud clappers, meat cooking utensils, holiday cards, locking doors, and millenials.

EVIDENCE

Here is the video Bailiff Jesse mentioned that shows Harry Connick Jr. tricking his audience into clapping on the 2s and 4s:

And here's the video Judge Hodgman described that shows Sting applauding for Bruce Springsteen:

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 370: Live From Chicago 2018, Part 2

| 0 comments
Guests: 
OHMME

Judge John Hodgman is live in Chicago again, at Thalia Hall for the Onion Comedy and Arts Festival! "Amendment to the Constellation" plus Swift Justice disputes about dogs, farts and a special pair of newly married litigants! Plus, music from OHMME!

OHMME's first full-length album, Parts, is coming out on August 24, 2018 on Joyful Noise Recordings! They'll also be at West Fest in Chicago on July 8th.

EVIDENCE

--

Thank you to Colan Kennelly for suggesting this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 369: The Booth, the Whole Booth, and Nothing But the Booth

| 0 comments

Sophie is filing suit against her parents, Toby and Thor. If they are out to eat and seated at a table they don't like, Toby and Thor will ask to sit elsewhere. Sophie thinks that her parents should just deal with the table they've been given. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thank you to Ian Brodie for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED

Judge John Hodgman Episode 368: The Whistle Throne

| 0 comments
Guests: 
Alison Becker

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket with special guest, Alison Becker! They talk about whistling, serving pizza at your wedding, the beginning of Spring, ordering food to go at a sit-down restaurant, and eating bacon with a fork!

Alison Becker is one of the stars of Maximum Fun's brand new scripted serial podcast, BUBBLE! Make sure to check it out now, wherever you listen to podcasts.
--

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in APPLE PODCASTS or the RSS FEED