Judge John Hodgman

Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE.

Judge John Hodgman LIVE in Turner Falls

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Date: 
09/17/2016 - 20:00
City: 
Turner Falls, MA
Venue Name: 
Shea Theater Arts Center

Saturday, September 17, 2016
8:00pm
Shea Theater Arts Center
71 Avenue A, Turners Falls, MA 01376

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN and BAILIFF JESSE THORN are riding the circuit to bring LIVE JUSTICE to a stage near you.

Direct from JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN PODCAST (named FIFTEENTH in Rolling Stone’s top 20 comedy podcasts!), Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Thorn are bringing their mix of non-swearing comedy, pop culture obsession, and sheer, unadulterated FAKE LEGAL WISDOM to the stage.

Along with surprises, special guests, and live justice lightning rounds, each show will feature a number of live hearings between people in TURNER FALLS. Judge Hodgman will listen to both sides and then tell them WHO IS RIGHT and WHO IS WRONG.

Previous disputes have included:

-is a hot dog a sandwich?

-when is it may someone else’s Chinese food be legally considered abandoned property?

-is it OK to rifle through the trash for prize coupons in a Canadian pizza parlor?

-will you order my mom to buy me a motorcycle and a vape pen?

If you have a long-simmering fight with a friend or loved one that you’d finally like resolved, submit your case to www.maximumfun.org/jjho and specify that you wish to be heard LIVE ON STAGE and tell us where you live. If we pick your case, YOU GET IN FREE.

Or, just shut your pie hole and come and enjoy this very rare live tour of JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN: LIVE JUSTICE.

John and Jesse will be meeting and greeting you all after the show.

Judge John Hodgman LIVE in Portland, ME

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Date: 
09/16/2016 - 19:00
City: 
Portland, ME
Venue Name: 
Port City Music Hall

Friday, September 16, 2016
Doors: 7:00pm
Show: 8:00pm
Port City Music Hall
504 Congress St Portland, ME, 04101

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN and BAILIFF JESSE THORN are riding the circuit to bring LIVE JUSTICE to a stage near you.

Direct from JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN PODCAST (named FIFTEENTH in Rolling Stone’s top 20 comedy podcasts!), Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Thorn are bringing their mix of non-swearing comedy, pop culture obsession, and sheer, unadulterated FAKE LEGAL WISDOM to the stage.

Along with surprises, special guests, and live justice lightning rounds, each show will feature a number of live hearings between people in PORTLAND. Judge Hodgman will listen to both sides and then tell them WHO IS RIGHT and WHO IS WRONG.

Previous disputes have included:

-is a hot dog a sandwich?

-when is it may someone else’s Chinese food be legally considered abandoned property?

-is it OK to rifle through the trash for prize coupons in a Canadian pizza parlor?

-will you order my mom to buy me a motorcycle and a vape pen?

If you have a long-simmering fight with a friend or loved one that you’d finally like resolved, submit your case to www.maximumfun.org/jjho and specify that you wish to be heard LIVE ON STAGE and tell us where you live. If we pick your case, YOU GET IN FREE.

Or, just shut your pie hole and come and enjoy this very rare live tour of JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN: LIVE JUSTICE.

John and Jesse will be meeting and greeting you all after the show.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 260: All Laws are Off

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Judge John Hodgman rules on overfilling ice cube trays, the best spelling of Elliot for a baby, dog park etiquette, podcast recommendations and more.

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And Check out David's Patreon to crush Matt!

If you're curious to know about Magic the Gathering methods suggested by listeners, you can find them below!

Hannah suggested that the friends play:
"Constructed, in which players make their decks ahead of time with whatever cards they can get their hands on. This format is the problem the plaintiff is complaining about.
Or drafting, where they each open a pack of cards and take turns picking cards from those packs until each has built a suitable deck for play. At which point, the two play with these new decks that did not exist prior to the game at hand."

Mark suggested another mode of play:
"I've used this one in friendly, non-tournament play and it helps even the playing field. Everyone brings their favorite decks, and each player randomly selects one of the decks that was brought." Essentially, each player has an equal chance of using an "overpowered" deck during a given match.

and Gabe thought of these:
Reject rare draft
(in which each player donates 45 cards and then drafts cards. The rares are "donated", as everyone takes home the deck they draft and no attempt is made to return the rares to the original owners.)

Peasant
(In Peasant a deck may contain up to 5 uncommon cards and the rest must be common. Peasant Magic was created by Rob Baranowski who felt that players with limited access to cards should still have an opportunity for competitive play.)

Back draft
(where each player tries to build the worst deck possible, because each player gives another player that deck to play in the tournament.)

Sponsored Bonus Episode: Livin' That CALI415 Life

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Guests: 
Rhea Butcher

BONUS: Judge John Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse Thorn and Expert Witness and Automotive Enthusiast Rhea Butcher clear an all-automobile-related docket in a sponsored bonus episode of Judge John Hodgman. They'll weigh in on whether you can avoid being a jerk with a vanity plate, how to decide whose car to drive to the malt shop, new-car advice, and more!

Rhea Butcher's upcoming show Take My Wife will be available on Seeso.

Here's an amazing extended list of best practices from listener and car expert Nick:

* Warming up your car in the winter. In the vast majority of instances, this is unnecessary. This is something that people typically do for their own comfort. They claim that the warm-up is good for the car, but they tell themselves that to assuage their guilt about wasting fuel, polluting unnecessarily, and perhaps doing more harm than good to their car. The crux, for most of these people, is dishonesty and laziness. The car is designed to be warmed up by driving gently until normal operating temperature is reached.

Exceptions include: older carbureted vehicles, sub-zero temperatures, some turbocharged vehicles

* Proper air conditioning use. The proper way to cool a car’s interior quickly after it’s been baking in the sun is to turn the A/C to the coldest setting, set the blower motor to high, be sure the intake is in the fresh air position (not recirculate), and roll all the windows down. This is the fastest way to get the car comfortably cool. I have a friend who refuses to believe this, claiming that the best practice is to keep the windows up. He is wrong and will stay wrong.

Exceptions include: rain, insect swarm, otherwise foul circumstances

A note on fresh air vs. recirculate: the best strategy is to keep the setting on fresh air, using the recirculate setting sparingly as conditions dictate. Keeping the selector set to recirculate all the time can lead to the car smelling stale, making the car’s owner “that guy” with the gross car. The smell comes on slowly enough that “that guy” is the last one to know how gross he is.

* Fast lane etiquette. The primary purpose of the far left lane is passing. Cruising in the left lane is not only rude and entitled, it often leads to clusters of traffic and encourages frustrated drivers to attempt to make up for lost time by speeding. Furthermore, the fast lane is no place to prove a point to the car behind you. The proper thing to do is make way for faster cars should they approach from behind, helping to prevent traffic clusters. The faster car, after remaining behind the slower car for a sensible amount of time, is permitted a quick flash of the headlights to signal the driver in front. That driver’s responsibility is to make way without taking offense.

Exceptions include: HOV lanes, heavy traffic, surface roads

* Clearing snow and ice before driving. All piled snow should be removed from the vehicle in a way which doesn’t cause damage to the paint. In most cases, a brush will suffice. Once bulk of the snow has been removed, every window and mirror on the car should be cleared entirely, along with every exterior light (brake lights, headlights, turn signals, etc.).

No exceptions.

Thanks, Nick!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 259: No Acquitting for Taste

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Abtin brings the case against his girlfriend Kelsey over the decor in their new apartment. Abtin wants to go modern and classy. Kelsey says that would be boring and wants furnishings that are more quirky and unique.

BONUS: In reference to the docket item submitted by home-schooled fantasy writer Hunter in Episode 252, we have an audio letter from the Fresh Bananaman Jonathan Niederer. Listen here!

Thanks to Karen Polowick for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Abtin

Judge John Hodgman Episode 258: In Moto Parentis

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Leigh files suit against her son Duncan. Duncan is ready to take to the open road on a motorcycle. His parents aren't fans of the idea, and want him to wait until he's older and can shoulder the cost and risk on his own.

Thanks to James Hupp for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

Or send in your case at www.maximumfun.org/jjho or by emailing hodgman@maximumfun.org!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 257: Jesse Finds a Crux

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Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear out the docket on free refills, open mics (or is it open MIKES?), canoe weekends and what to do if your friend recommends a book he hasn't actually read.

MaxFunCon East tickets on sale NOW! Join us over Labor Day for an all-inclusive weekend of live comedy, podcasts, music, and educational sessions.

And if you live in Los Angeles, tickets are also one sale to see Judge Hodgman perform his one man show, VACATIONLAND at the Largo on Thursday June 9th!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 256: Baggage Claims

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Ty files suit against her partner Zach. Zach is obsessed with earning and using airline points and miles. Ty also likes to travel, but she wants to give up the crazy schemes and choose their vacation destinations and itineraries the "normal" way. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Thanks to David Stephens for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

Or send in your case at www.maximumfun.org/jjho or by emailing hodgman@maximumfun.org!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 255: Anecdontal Evidence

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Guests: 
Teresa McElroy

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your support during the MaxFunDrive! We won't bother you for another year. And if you missed it, you can still join anytime at www.maximumfun.org/donate. We always appreciate your support.

With expert witness Teresa McElroy of Shmanners! Bob brings the case against his fiancee Alessandra. They have a "no boring stories" policy when they are at home together. Now Alessandra wants an exception for stories about the workplace. Should they change the rules? Only one man can decide.

Thanks to Jesse Huston for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 254: Greasy Rider

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Guests: 
Alton Brown

We're going strong in the second week of MaxFunDrive!!

Become a member today and support the production of Judge John Hodgman every week. This show could not exist without your support!

During MaxFunDrive, we hope you'll share your thoughts about the show with us and your friends. You can enter to win an the Breville Smart Oven in our Twitter contest - just Tweet the reason you give to MaxFun, or why others should, with the hashtag #ToastToMaxFun and the link www.maximumfun.org/donate.

Plus Judge Hodgman is still doing his Instagram shoutouts to donors at the leadership level - hear more about it on this episode.

With Special Expert Witness Alton Brown! Stephanie brings the case against her partner Jeff, who works as a chef. Jeff will often leave his smoky and bacon-y aprons and detritus in his car. Stephanie thinks that the car should remain neat and clean; Jeff says the mess is manageable, and comes with the job. Who's right? Who's wrong?

You can find Alton Brown on his website (where you can find recipes, tourdates and more) and on Twitter!

Thanks to Jon Combs for naming this week's episode!