Judge John Hodgman

Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 41: Out of REC-order

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DVR WARS! Anthony brings this case against his good friend Joseph. Their issue arose when Anthony asked Joseph to record a reality TV cooking program for him. Joseph has an extensive cable TV package with digital video recording service, while Anthony has a much more basic set of channels and no DVR. Anthony has asked his friend to record multiple shows for him, but never consistently comes over to watch them. The shows sit on the DVR, taking up space and annoying Joseph.

Is Anthony obligated to watch the shows after he's requested them?

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John Hodgman's final book of trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, is now available in bookstores (that are still around) and online retailers. To find out when he may be visiting a city near you, see Areas of My Expertise.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 40: The Abuse of Flower Power

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Julienne and Emily are neighbors, co-workers and romantically involved. They both have a live/work spaces set in urban surroundings that needed a little touch of flora.

Julienne wants to add the Mexican Daisy which she prefers because of its scent and simple beauty. Emily, not fond of the daisy or its odor at all, has refused to come over to Julienne's if the daisy is planted.

Will Julienne need to create a daisy-free habitat? Will Emily have to wake up and smell the flowers? It's the war of the roses that only one man can decide!

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John Hodgman's new book of fake trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, is now available in bookstores (that are still around) and online retailers. To find out when he may be visiting a city near you, see Areas of My Expertise.

Finally: Someone is Taking On the 99%

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Finally, someone is brave enough to take on the 99%, and it is our own Deranged Millionaire, Mr. John Hodgman.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 39: Slash-Friction

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While Bryan was compiling a comprehensive list of the top 100 horror movies the issue arose of what shared characteristics all the movies in the genre must have.

Bryan says that the content is king and what matters most is what takes place with the characters themselves. His friend Jay, whose help was enlisted for the compilation, maintains that it’s the director’s intent for audience reaction that holds sway.

Who will be tricked and who gets treated on this thriller of a case for Judge John Hodgman!

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John Hodgman's new book of fake trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, can now be pre-ordered for its release on 11/1/11. To find out when he may be visiting a city near you, see Areas of My Expertise.

THE MOST IMPORTANT VIDEO

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This important video was directed by Tom Scharpling on behalf of our friend, Mr. John Hodgman. It concerns the lifestyle of a DERANGED MILLIONAIRE. Featured in this video are Vernon Reid of Living Colour, Brooke Shields, ?uestlove and OTHER MAJOR CELEBRITIES.

It is your duty to WATCH the video, and to VOTE FUNNY the video. It is an easy duty to fulfill, as the video is TREMENDOUS. Then, simply order Hodgman's final book in his trilogy of all world knowledge, THAT IS ALL.

Also: Dick Cavett behaves boorishly.

Canadian House of Pizza & Garbage Jingle

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On this week's episode of Judge John Hodgman, The Pizza Pauper, our litigants discussed the very unusual restaurant chain The Canadian House of Pizza & Garbage.

Listener Eric Schumiller started thinking about some cassettes he'd seen on in a shoebox on his neighbors curb. He ran out, grabbed them, and ran to his cassette deck. He found just what he thought he'd remembered seeing - the circa 1980s jingle for CHoPaG.

He generously digitized it for us, and you can hear it above or download it here.

Lyrics below:

Canadian House of Pizza and Garbage,
A place of convenience and value for all.
Maison Canadienne de la Pizza et les Ordures,
Un lieu de commodité et de valeur pour tous le monde.

[spoken]: At Canadian House of Pizza and Garbage, turn garbage into gold! So don't refuse our refuse, or deny our detritus. Only $5 for a pop and a slice, or maybe much, MUCH more!

Canadian House of Pizza and Garbage,
Ontario's stripmall paradise.
Abandon your pride, and come inside,
You might find a motorcycle under your slice...under your slice!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 38: Pepperoni Pauper

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Flynn and Helen are frequent guests of a particular pizzeria in Canada that offers free prize tickets on their pizza boxes. Flynn, Helen's boyfriend, goes to great lengths to find as many of these tickets as he can -- even rummaging through the trash to find discarded and unpeeled tickets. Helen finds this extremely embarrassing and feels that no slice of pie is worth the disgraceful effort of dumpster diving. Is Flynn's treasure hunt for free prizes an admirable quest? Is Helen's embarrassment of her boyfriend's trash digging ways justifiable? Only one man can decide!

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John Hodgman's new book of fake trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, can now be pre-ordered for its release on 11/1/11. To find out when he may be visiting a city near you, see Areas of My Expertise.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 37: Panta-lunacy

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 37: Panta-lunacy

In today’s case, the court will decide the statute of limitations and proper etiquette of the lost-and-found box. Seth and Stephen are both friends and colleagues currently performing together in a play on Broadway. During their rehearsal time, Seth noticed a pair of linen trousers retired to the lost-and-found box for four months. When he finally decides the fate of the pants should be covering Seth’s legs and not the wasting away in the lost-and-found, Stephen raised a claim the pants were in fact his and should be returned to the rightful owner.
Is there a set precedence for the lost-and-found box? Finders Keepers? Losers Weepers? We’ll find out!

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John Hodgman's new book of fake trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, can now be pre-ordered for its release on 11/1/11. To find out when he may be visiting a city near you, see Areas of My Expertise.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 36: Beard Science

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We are joined again by guest bailiff Jake Tapper, Senior White House Correspondent for ABC News (who last was on duty for the case of De Plane). We are delighted he could join us and lend us an air of legitimacy.

Today, a case of Beard Science. A few years ago, college pals Bilder, McElroy and Pattley agreed to a game of beard chicken. The game is traditionally is played when two or more men face-off against each other by not shaving; the man who goes the longest without a shave wins the game. Bilder claims that he participated only because they settled on a modified version of the game, which would allow him to shave partway through.

In the course of the game, Bilder accumulated the most days unshaven, but McElroy claims he is the winner, with the most consecutive bearded days.

Was their original agreement valid? Did the modified terms fundamentally alter the essence of the game? And who is the real winner of beard chicken?

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John Hodgman's new book of fake trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, can now be pre-ordered for its release on 11/1/11. To find out when he may be visiting a city near you, see Areas of My Expertise.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 35: Unbanded Brothers

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We are assisted by the guest bailiff stylings, chosen especially for this case, of Monte Belmonte. Monte hosts a very popular morning radio show at 93.9 The River in Northampton, Massachusetts. We very much appreciate his musical expertise and fine baliffing.

Jack brings this case against his brother and bandmate Jeff. They play together on albums and on tour as The Jeffrey Lewis Band. Jack had requested several days off on their upcoming European tour to attend a friend's wedding, which seemed unprofessional to his older brother Jeff.

Who is "the boss" of the band? Was Jack right to ask to schedule the band's tourdates around his own schedule? These questions, and more, answered by the Honorable Judge John Hodgman.

You may subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or through this RSS feed.

ALSO, an important buzz marketing message! You, the JJHo listener should know that the Judge's book of fake trivia and world knowledge, THAT IS ALL, can now be pre-ordered for its release on 11/1/11.

Come out and see John present excerpts from the book at The Bell House in Brooklyn on November 1st, and then on tour in a city near you. Check Areas of My Expertise for current dates!