Judge John Hodgman

Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 102: Justice Abhors a Vacuum

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Guests: 
Jonathan Coulton

Matt brings the case against his good friend Jeremy. Matt borrowed a shop vac from Jeremy to do some grease trap cleaning at work, but he accidentally ruined it in the process. The friends finally settled on a replacement appliance, but Matt thinks he got a raw deal, since it was more expensive than the original. How should he have reimbursed his friend? Are they even now? Only one man can decide: JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN.

Joining us in the courtroom this week as an expert witness is internet music legend Jonathan Coulton! His newest album, Artificial Heart, is the first album he has recorded with a full band. You can catch Jonathan as the house musician on NPR's Ask Me Another.

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Special thanks to listener Thom Winters for suggesting this week's title!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 101: Courtlandia

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Drew brings the case against his girlfriend Lyndy. Lyndy says that Drew's tastes and attitudes make him a hipster and that he shouldn't resist the label. Drew says it's a derogatory term and that he's NOT a hipster, anyway! Who's right? Who's wrong? Only JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN can decide.

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Special thanks to listener Shawn O'Reilly for suggesting this week's title!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 100: The Book Case

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Show: 
Bullseye

Julie brings the case against her husband Jason. Julie says Jason is a book hoarder, letting old novels and textbooks rot away in their garage. He says he's acquired a great collection of books and is working his way through the stacks. Who is right? Who is wrong? ONLY ONE MAN CAN DECIDE.

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VIEW THE DOCKET CLEARING SUBMISSIONS

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Special thanks to listener Steve Ciabattoni for suggesting a variation of this week's title!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 99: Judge and Jewry

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Beca brings the case against her sister Jessica. They're both proud of their Jewish heritage, but Jessica objects to Beca's claim that they are both "part-Jewish" due to their ancestry. Jessica says that since she and her sister were raised in the Catholic faith, they can't in good conscience call themselves “part-Jewish”. Who is right? Only one man can decide.

Thanks this week to Rabbi Mike, former litigant from the episode "Parents Just Don't Understand", who joined us to share his expertise.

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NIGHTMARE GERBIL CONTEST WINNER!!!

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Special thanks to listener Larry Herold for suggesting this episode's title!

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John Hodgman On Tour: Appearing in Oregon, Massachusetts, and Other States!

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In celebration of the world not ending, John Hodgman is taking time to step away from the judicial bench to visit a variety of states, including Oregon (nickname: "The Big Beaver Furrier's Dreamland"), California (motto: "Do Not Fear Our Giant Prehistoric Trees") and Massachusetts (which is actually a commonwealth).*

You can purchase tickets for any of these appearances through his website.

Dates and Cities

-March 7: Portland, OR
-March 8: Eugene, OR
-March 10: Northampton, MA
-April 20: St. Mary's City, MD
-May 3: Alexandria, VA
-May 4: Hartford, CT
-May 29: San Francisco, CA
-June 21 to June 23: North Adams, MA (Solid Sound Festival)
-June 22: also North Adams, MA (MASS MoCA)

Bring your minds. There is COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE to be learned.

*All state information from The Areas of My Expertise, which you have, of course, completely assimilated the contents of by now.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 98: All Dogs Go To Trial - Live at SF Sketchfest!

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Guests: 
John Darnielle

This week, our episode is live at Marines Memorial Theater from SF Sketchfest!

Brianne, a dog trainer, owns a small poodle named Shilo. She likes to take Shilo everywhere – the bus, classes at SF State, even restaurants. But this annoys her boyfriend, Zach, who thinks that Shilo's constant company is annoying, saying that it's representative of Brianne's attitude that the rules don't apply to her. Does Shilo need a shorter leash? Only Judge John Hodgman can decide.

We're also joined by past expert witness JOHN DARNIELLE of The Mountain Goats for a truly special musical set.

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PHOTOS OF SHILO
MORE INFO ABOUT JOHN DARNIELLE
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Judge John Hodgman Episode 97: Possessions in Nine-Tenths of a Car

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Andrea brings the case against her friend Joe. Joe has adopted a minimalist lifestyle, and has vowed not to own more than a single car-load's worth of belongings. Andrea thinks he's shunned material possessions to an extreme degree and should acquire some creature comforts. Who is right, and who is wrong? Only one man can decide.

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Special thanks to Jon Ahjudah Barr for suggesting this title.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 96: Bench Warrant

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Dimitri brings this week's case against his boyfriend, Landon. Whenever the two of them go out to eat at their neighborhood diner, Dimitri wants Landon to sit next to him, leaving the other side of the booth empty. Landon isn't terribly enthusiastic about this, telling Dimitri that it's a little too lovey-dovey for his liking. Will Landon have to take Dimitri's side? Only Judge John Hodgman can decide.

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UPDATE ON EPISODE 85: IPSO LACTO
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Special thanks to Paul Ruh for suggesting this title.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 95: Polly Wanna Justice?

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Kim brings a case against her husband, Chris. Kim has owned a parrot, Kobe, for a little over twenty years. The problem: Chris works at home and Kobe's constant squawking is driving him crazy. Kobe isn't too keen about Chris, either; Kim says that the parrot hates both her husband and their 12-year-old son. Are Kim and her family going too far to accommodate Kobe, or is it time for Kobe to (metaphorically) spread his wings and fly? Judge John Hodgman decides.

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Special thanks to Jaron James, who suggested a variation of this title.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 94: Bleached and Mounted Bones of Contention

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Guests: 
John Roderick

This week, Nick has a bone to pick with his wife, Sara. Nick admits he has an interest in the macabre, which has led him to consider collecting taxidermied animals, their skeletons, and (possibly) a human skull. Though Sara is willing to let one or two preserved animals lie around the house, she's horrified by the prospect of Nick collecting any more, nor is she terribly enthused about the prospect of sharing their home with what was once a human head. Will Nick's new hobby flourish, or will Sara have it laid to rest? Judge John Hodgman decides.

John Roderick from The Long Winters lends the court his expert testimony. John's most recent album is One Christmas At a Time, a holiday collaboration with Jonathan Coulton. For more signature John Roderick insight, you can tune in to his weekly podcast with Merlin Mann, Roderick on the Line.

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