Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE.
Jessie and Jason are a happily married couple with a time-sensitive issue. Jason has been enrolled in a Master's Degree program that offers its courses in two different semester lengths. He can choose to split up the semester in an 8 week on and 8 week off frame, or compact the course work into an extensive 16 week semester with a 16 week break. Jason has already slogged through the lengthier version once, to Jessie's dismay.
The issue is that when Jason is in classes (and attending to his full-time job), he has no time for anything but the bare necessities -- and that does not involve what Jessie considers "husbandly duties," including cooking, household chores, noticing of fancy attire and well-appointed hairdos or handyman-related issues.
Can the Judge keep this marriage from falling apart at the seams? FIND OUT THIS WEEK!
Bobby and Katie are dating and like many young couples are at odds over towels. But unlike most domesticated disputes of the household variety, these towels serve a higher, almost divine purpose. To their fans, the Pittsburgh Steelers have a place amongst the heavens - the most memorable play in Steelers history is called the Immaculate Reception! Just as the many religions of the world have their own iconography, so too does Steeler Nation in the form of the “Terrible Towel.”
Bobby has become a Steelers fan within the past year and a half he’s been dating Katie. Bobby purchased a towel (the proceeds go towards an autism charity) and feels that once it’s yours and the money has gone on the charity, you are free to do what you want with it. He also asserts that his love for the Pittsburgh Steelers is no less than those ordained from birth.
Katie, being born into the Steeler family, has the utmost respect and pride for the Towel. She offers that the towel is more than a foam finger or a pom-pom, and that the towel and the history of the franchise are one in the same. Its disrespect in any way is an affront to the team and the charity it supports.
So, should the towel be treated as a weaving of fabrics meant to absorb liquids or as a sacred object of one of football’s most historic franchises? Only one man has the secular fortitude to decide on the next Judge John Hodgman!
Keep Calm and Carry on.
Blair and her sister Lisa both travel frequently for business and pleasure (occasionally together). Blair always brings a carry-on instead of checking a bag, since her trips are usually of a shorter duration, perhaps two to three days. She is 5'1" and sometimes needs assistance getting her bag into the overhead bin. A helpful person usually offers their services; if not, Blair is not opposed to asking for help from a fellow passenger.
Lisa feels that if a person does not have the ability to handle their own carry-on bag and get into the compartment without assistance, they have the option of, and should choose to, check their baggage.
So, who is free to carry on and who won't help you move along? Only one man can decide, but be careful!- contents in the overhead bin may have shifted during the flight- on the next Judge John Hodgman!
Dueling banjos! Or at least, a banjo and bandleader. Greg and Eric bring a question of performance before the Judge. Eric is in favor of suggesting that the audience clap along to their music, to enhance the experience and the music itself. Greg claims it's uncool and uncalled for as an imposition to the listeners. Who is right, and who is wrong? Listen in and feel free to clap along!
MaximumFun.org co-presents the 11th Annual SF Sketchfest for two events in January!
John Hodgman, well-known for his role as Judge John Hodgman, will be delighting Sketchfest with his most deranged knowledge, especially of RAGNAROK which, I'm sure you know, has BEGUN.
He is also an acclaimed author of The Areas of My Expertise, More Information Than You Require and That Is All and the man known as the Resident Expert on The Daily Show.
One night only!
Pop Quiz: The super-pocalypse is imminent --the zombies have already crawled out of their graves and infiltrated the capitol. Volcanic earthquakes have devoured the coastal cities in flames and you realize you’re no longer safe in your home. Where do you go?
Carrie and her husband Phillip are at odds like billionaires and the 99%. The dispute of whether or not to Occupy Wal-Mart is at such a fever-pitch the four horseman are breaking a sweat. Phillip has a military background and believes that the most logical plan is to take control of a nearby Wal-Mart which is fully stocked with food, ammunition and has cold storage. It’s also easily defensible.
Carrie, on the other hand, feels that a more holistic approach to fleeing the locust swarm is the answer. She posits that Wal-Mart on Black Friday is already like the rapture and that the best medicine is to stay away. With abundant farmland and plenty of Natural Resources nearby, a return to nature will provide a safe haven.
Should they batten down the hatches and roll back the prices or live off the valley in the shadow of death? Only one brave man (who’s actually written a book about just this sort of thing) can decide! Judge-ment-Day John Hodgman
Chris and Emily bring a case against their friend, Pat. Pat has asked to stay at one of their small apartments while visiting their area. He says he's willing to sleep on the couch. They say that he has a good-paying job, they have a small apartment, and he shouldn't have put them in the awkward position of turning him down.
Is it appropriate to ask to crash on the couch when you could reasonably afford a hotel?
We Love Fans.
We Love Art.
But every once in a while there's someone like ERIN MCGRATH who so craftily puts two and two together and totally completes us.
Thanks, Erin! This is all kinds of Awesome!
(even though Jesse's expression says otherwise)
Also, the venerable Judge John Hodgman has put together a few suggestions on how to have your day in court.
Read it and heed it.
Jesse and Jessica are used to squaring off against one another when they play online word games on their smartphones. In this episode of Judge John Hodgman their rivalry spills into the courtroom as they litigate their literary license. Please use JUSTICE in a sentence!
A few months ago, Jessica made a last ditch effort to play her turn and plugged in a few letters. Surprisingly, the game accepted and points were awarded.
Jesse felt that without full knowledge of the word's spelling or its meaning, simply plugging in letters at random is "spamming" and therefore cheating.
Jessica ascertains that any word accepted by the game and not ill-gotten through outside help is perfectly legal and that "letter crunching" is just a way to play in the brave new world of on-line gaming.
Who's playing fair game, who's making it up and where CAN I play this Q? Only one man can decide, Justice of the Game-Piece, Judge John Hodgman.
Austin brings the case against his good friend Ethan. A year ago, they drove cross-country from Santa Cruz, California to Brooklyn, New York. Austin says that during the trip, he experienced "car lag," a variant form of jetlag. Ethan says the very idea is absurd. The argument has driven a wedge into their friendship.
Is car lag real? Only one man can decide.