HEEEEYYYYYYYYY DO YOU ALL LIKE CORRRRRRRRNNNNN?!?!?! This is a Corn-heavy episode, because the Bachelor has become a television show that's exclusively about Corn, and her wayward journey to find love.
Did we all communally experience last night's episode of The Bachelor in a group fever dream? Did we really witness a Backstreet Boys dance-off, a floating post-yartz smooch and a bouncy castle hook-up? IS THIS THE MATRIX? ARE WE IN THE MATRIX?
PREPARE FOR BLASTOFF. We're diving into the details and stats of ALL 30 of the contestants for the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. Will Nick Viall, that milk-fed beauty, find love this time around? Like they always say, the third time's the charm! And if it isn't, then fuck it, give 'em a fourth time. Let's keep throwing this dude-spaghetti at the wall until he sticks.