Wait, don't tell us you're STILL chugging that full-power, unfiltered sports beverage? Listen: Nobody needs that much energy. Why not come down to our level with a smooth glass of a soothing Gatorade alternative? One for poet-types, and brain-thinkers!

Suggested talking points: The Cream Cheese Incident, Apple Juice Marketing, Subway Connections, Blapron, Sperm Maze, Go-To Sillyness

The Hunger pursues, and our heroes escape. They’ve been keeping up the chase for decades now, evading without fail. But the Hunger’s getting faster. The journey’s getting harder. The team must take drastic steps, just to stay afloat. We’re nearly caught up, now. Merle writes his story. Magnus breaks his bonds. Taako plans a very good day.

This week's episode of The Bachelorette featured a lot of fun dates and a lot of super-not-fun horseshit back at the mansion. Not literal horse shit, mind you -- we all know this franchise is too afraid to actually deliver on THOSE goods.

Sorry it's come down to this, dear listeners, but we've been cops the whole time, and we've got to take you down for all the crimes you did while enjoying our podcast. We'd still love to have you over for the big cookout next weekend, though!

Suggested talking points: Underpants Watch, Sneakin' Out the Bottles, Friend Arrest, Sea Pork, Quaid Confusion, Infrared Bears, An All New Original Color

Our heroes find themselves in a strange world where artists compete for national pride, submitting their works to a mountain that can make them known throughout the land. Can the team create satisfactory masterpieces before their year is up? Merle gets academic. Taako borrows some pearls of widsom. Magnus meets a fateful friend.

This week's episode had it all: The blossoming of new love, an adorable dog attending a dog party, a marriage-themed obstacle course, and, of course, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It just methodically checks off all the elements required for a good episode of television.

Additional Reading:

https://www.bustle.com/p/peter-rachel-praised-therapy-on-the-bachelorett...

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kareem-abdul-jabbar-my-journey-bac...

Today's episode features a drop-in from our critically acclaimed Twin Peaks fancast-within-a-podcast, The Bookhouse Boys. We've got answers for all the questions this twisted series throws at you -- questions like: What's with all this coffee? Hey! What's even going on here?! Whoa!?!

Suggested talking points: Bookhouse Boys, Dream Interpretation, Arcade Desires, Tender Kombat, Daniel Dunkin, Real Emo, Hardee's Softcows

The new season of Bachelorette has begun! In today's episode, we discuss Rachel's fateful meeting with 31 eligible bachelors, a few of whom are just absolute bridge trolls. The same cannot be said for A.J., who is the light of our lives, the sun in our sky and the light unto our path. Let's go!

Additional Reading:

http://www.marieclaire.com/culture/news/a27304/the-bachelorette-2017-pre...

http://www.npr.org/2017/05/23/529705257/the-bachelorette-may-have-a-blac...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-it-matters-that-white-people-are...

Here's our live show from The Paramount in Austin, TX! We had a great time, even though everyone sitting the balcony was SO NASTY. You all would not BELIEVE what a NASTY balcony it was.

We're fairly deep into our trip down memory lane, but our heroes are no closer to figuring out how to stop the ever-evolving force that's pursuing them. With few other options, they'll have to adopt a new, remarkably costly strategy. Magnus helps out some Losers. Taako eats a fateful meal. Merle makes a powerful new friend.