Kim brings a case against her husband, Chris. Kim has owned a parrot, Kobe, for a little over twenty years. The problem: Chris works at home and Kobe's constant squawking is driving him crazy. Kobe isn't too keen about Chris, either; Kim says that the parrot hates both her husband and their 12-year-old son. Are Kim and her family going too far to accommodate Kobe, or is it time for Kobe to (metaphorically) spread his wings and fly? Judge John Hodgman decides.
Special thanks to Jaron James, who suggested a variation of this title.