Michael brings the case against his husband, Matthew. For the last several years, the two of them have used an artificial Christmas tree during the holiday season. Matthew prefers live trees and would like to introduce one to their home but Michael is strongly against the idea. Who’s right, who’s wrong?
SUBMITTED BY MICHAEL:
1. “Real Christmas trees constitutes a much more substantial fire risk. So much so that the City of Honolulu, in adopting national fire protection policies, has banned the use of real trees in public places.” More info on that can be found here.
2. A Christmas tree safety flyer, linked from the FEMA webpage.
Michael says, “To the extent that the fire risks of a real tree can be mitigated, it’s by watering them every day (which we won’t be able to do, given that we’ll be out of state). It stands to reason that the importance of watering the tree daily to keep it from drying out similarly applies to aesthetic and housekeeping concerns.”
3. Michael says, "Even if we were able to keep the tree watered, both the tree water and the tree itself would be a danger to our cats," according to Are Christmas Trees Safe For Cats?. Here is the relevant excerpt:
"Live, cut Christmas trees can be deadly for cats. Pine needles can be ingested and puncture intestines, and pine is highly toxic to cats, potentially causing liver damage and death. Additionally, the water that cut trees are placed into is toxic. It usually contains pine resin, preservatives and fire retardants.”
"This is further attested by PetMd":
"There are other dangers to consider with the good ol' Yule tree other than lights and ornaments. The oils produced by fir trees can be irritating to a pet's mouth and stomach, causing excessive vomiting or drooling. The tree needles, meanwhile, may cause gastrointestinal irritation, obstruction and puncture. Additionally, the water used to nourish Christmas trees can be noxious. Bacteria, molds, and fertilizers can cause your pet to become extremely sick with only a few laps.”
"Both of our cats are extremely fascinated with water and like to play with it. I’ve attached a video of them proving as much. It’s worth noting that the waterer pictured is one that we settled on after they splashed about in a more open one and knocked over multiple times one that stores water in a tank above."
4. "Artificial trees are actually more traditional than live ones," according to this article:
"In fact, the first written records of Christmas trees being used in what would become the United States date back to the 1740s. The children of German settlers in Pennsylvania decorated wooden pyramids with evergreen branches and affixed candles to the branches. The first Christmas trees in America were, in fact, artificial.”
5. "Artificial trees are more environmentally friendly, or, at least are not significantly worse for the environment." More here:
“If the artificial tree is kept more than 4 years, the Global Warming Potential associated with the artificial tree is less than a natural tree purchased every year for more than 4 years. The impact of the tree life cycle, for all scenarios, is less than 0.1% of a person’s annual carbon footprint and therefore is negligible within the context of the average American’s lifestyle.”
6. "The City of Boston gives us two opportunities to dispose of a real tree: January 3rd and January 10th." -- Boston's Trash Day Schedule.
SUBMITTED BY MATTHEW:
1. “The majority of real Christmas trees come from managed plantations, supporting hundreds of thousands of acres of trees being continuously planted, cut down, and replenished, on farmland that may not support other forms of agriculture.” 2012 Census of Agriculture data on Cut Christmas Trees: 2012 and 2007
2. “Real Christmas trees can be recycled after they are used, and as such can be given a new life, in a variety of ways, either as mulch, erosion barriers, or even to recreate sand dunes, as in NJ, our home state, after Hurricane Sandy. Boston also runs a recycling program for the first two weeks of January.”
Info on tree recycling can be found here and here.
3. “Further, it seems that a real tree may be necessary for the celebration of Christmas.
Judge John Hodgman has previously ruled on this matter: ‘Well, I hate to break it to you Peter, but the thirty Christmases you’ve so called celebrated, while using a fake tree, do not count as Christmas, in fact you have never celebrated Christmas, because a fake tree just will not cut it. The whole point is to bring nature into your home particularly an evergreen… and you need to have that actual tree there, staring at you, throughout the dark winter period, to give you hope to go on, and then you have to slowly kill it to give you strength to move on into the next year.’” (Judge John HodgmanEpisode 8 To Tree or Not to Tree)
Thank you to Rob Calabrese for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.
Have you been loving Dead Pilots Society?! Do you live in Los Angeles?! Well, you're in luck! We're recording a live podcast at Largo at the Coronet on February 4th, 2017!
We're reading a script written by June Diane Raphael (Grace & Frankie, Bride Wars) & Casey Wilson (Gone Girl, Happy Endings) and we'll have reads from Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation, Step Brothers) and more of your favorite comedic actors!
BUY TICKETS HERE and BUY THEM NOW: http://www.largo-la.com/event/1404688
Seat assignments begin at 6:00PM
Doors open for drinks at 7:00PM,
Showtime at 8:30PM
When you arrive at Will Call on the night of the show, seats will be assigned first come first served, from the front of the theatre to the back. If you want to sit closer, be sure to come earlier. | NO LATE ENTRY * NO REFUNDS * NO EXCHANGES * SPECIAL GUESTS ARE SUBJECT TO CANCEL WITHOUT NOTICE
Comedian and writer Eliza Skinner joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Jordan's berry consumption habits, Jesse's offer to perform at President Elect Trump's inauguration and Eliza's experience opening for Louis CK in large arena venues. Plus, Jordan wants people to send him videos of seals who sound like men.
Pajama Man Mark Chavez returns to talk jet flying, snow, and not flying. Also, our annual Secret Santa gift exchange.
Download episode 457 here. (right-click)
Email us at "spy [at] maximumfun [dot] org" or phone us at (844)779-7631 (or UGH-SPY-POD1).
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Joe Starr, Lauren Ashley Bishop, Carrie Quinlan and Nick Doody join host, Dave Holmes to talk about catchy Christmas tunes, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s secret second verse, and (terrible) Christmas cracker jokes.
And finally, Dave Holmes is on Twitter @DaveHolmes and hosts his live quiz show, The Friday Forty at LA’s Meltdown Theatre on the second Friday of every month. Dave would like to recommend Drew Droege’s pocast, Minor Revelations.
Biz and Theresa wonder if we're doing it wrong when it comes to responding to poor behavior. Should we be accommodating of difficult behavior when it's obviously just some kind of developmental stage? Or, by letting things slide, are we creating a world of Veruca Salts? Is it okay to just not enlist in some battles? Plus, Biz experiences the power of The Target Shout-Out and Theresa stresses about giving equal attention to her kids.
Thank you to all our listeners who support the show as monthly members of MaximumFun.org. Our sponsor this week is Seedling. Go explore the newest and best-selling collections for yourself or for awesome gifts at Seedling.com. Enter code "BadMother" for $10 off your purchase of $30 or more.
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Opening theme: Summon the Rawk, Kevin MacLeod (http://incompetech.com)
Ones and Zeros, Awesome, Beehive Sessions (http://awesomeinquotes.com, also avail on iTunes)
Mom Song, Adira Amram, Hot Jams For Teens (http://adiraamram.com, avail on iTunes)
Telephone, Awesome, Beehive Sessions (http://awesomeinquotes.com, also avail on iTunes)
Closing music: Mama Blues, Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans
In this episode of Dead Pilots Society, Ben Blacker interviews Jamie Denbo (Yes Man, Daddy's Home, Spy) regarding her dead pilot, Rabbit Hole. You'll also listen to a never-before-heard live table read of Rabbit Hole performed by some of today's funniest comedic actors like:
Kerri Kenney-Silver as Dame Delilah, Craig Cackowski as Roy, Betsy Sodaro as Sarge, Alison Rich as Penny, Leslie Grossman as Mary, Danielle Nicolet as Crystal, Cedric Yarborough as Lou, Gary Anthony Williams as Carl, John Ross Bowie as John/Albert, Chris Tallman as Sako/Fireman #2/Biker, Mark McConville as Butch/Boy #2, Ed Weeks as Fireman #1/Biker #3, Josh Zuckerman as Boy #1/Guy, Humphrey Ker as Biker #2, and Jamie Denbo as Carmey, Lynn, Boy #1, Candy, and stage directions.
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Come see Dead Pilots Society Live @ SF Sketchfest 2017:
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Tickets for the Dead Pilots Society live show at The Largo on February 4th, 2017 are on sale NOW! Buy them here: http://www.largo-la.com/event/1404688
Wonderland has revealed itself as a genuinely unsafe place for our heroes to be. Can they make forward progress in a cyclical game designed to extract raw anguish from them? Can they reach their distant goal before they've sacrificed too much? Magnus goes spear fishing. Merle is the MVP. Taako has a spot of bad luck.
This week Bryan discusses parenting Sherman, while Erin shares her nightmare visit to a craft fair. Also, Sofía Vergara is knee deep in a custody battle with her ex over frozen embryos and Susan Olsen, of Brady Bunch fame, was fired from her radio show after tongue-lashing her most recent guest with homophobic slurs. What would Carol Brady think? Plus guest David Mills is here to discuss punctuation, post-Brexit London, and his time working on “Florence Foster Jenkins”.
Follow David on Twitter @davidmillsdept
Courtney brings the case against her husband, Josh. They want to get a hot tub for their home but cannot agree on which type to buy. Josh wants a charming, wood fired cedar tub. Courtney wants a more practical standard fiberglass tub. Who’s right, who’s wrong?
Here are some photos submitted as evidence in this dispute:
Thank you to Anne Mandola Jones for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.