Star Trek

Ep 52: Ghost Mom (S3E5)

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When an away team accident kills a member of the Enterprise crew, it's up to Captain Picard to deliver the bad news to the newest member of the orphan club. Their grief doesn't last for long, because the fallen crew member reappears and promises a new life for the son she left behind. Is there such a thing as a bloodless Klingon ceremony? Why does Wesley (the boy?) have his own room? Is there more than one way to get a Natural Yeager? It's the first episode of the "Slick Back Trilogy"!

Ep 51: Hella Conservative (S3E4)

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When a cloaked observatory gets hit with a banger, the Enterprise needs to step on the gas to rescue some more gray haired scientists before the Prime Directive gets violated. On their arrival, the Enterprise crew just can’t help but violate it themselves, and violate it over and over. It should come as no surprise that this involves Riker going around the planet in a deep vee. Can Picard get out of this by making up a new religion? Did the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer wig get reused? Does Worf’s least favorite lightning have a great Hollywood agent? It’s the episode that Ben recorded while hopped up on DayQuil.

Ep 50: Space Weasel (S3E3)

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When the Enterprise discovers the aftermath of an attack on a planetary colony, they become suspicious of the two elderly survivors shacked up in the nicest house on their block. These survivors also seem unusually obsessed with their landscaping, which catches Commander Riker off-guard. But when Counselor Troi gets a bad song stuck in her head, the crew starts to wonder if there's something sinister going on inside their Malibu home. How many scarves is a reputation worth? Is there such thing as a lethal amount of guile? Why won't Captain Picard tell anyone what he's thinking? It's the episode where we play ALL the music.

Ep 49: One Terrible Element (S3E2)

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When a race of Hefty bags wants to tarp over a planet with 15,000 humans living on it, the Enterprise has to consider taking them on a Kid Rock cruise. The only crewmember immune to the local radiation is Data, so he beams down only to find an obtuse demagogue with a weird voice is running the place, and the guy doesn’t believe that the Hefty corporation even exists. Is Data a secret practitioner of rave hand jive, or does he just have invisible balls to play with? Why is Gosheven sounding so thirsty? Are Lenny and Carl on loan from The Simpsons? It’s the episode in which we award some T-shirts.

Ep 48: Thinking About Baseball (S3E1)

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When the Enterprise breaks down while conducting a science mission, Wesley (the boy?) is at fault. Unfortunately, he observes the Chaotic Bro code of silence, which forces the dumpy professor in charge of the experiment to take matters into his own hands. What does it mean to get "The Frakes"? Do we or don't we want to be in the pocket of Big Rodd? How many pips does Jame Gumb have? It's the episode where we do ALL the impressions!

Ep 47: Terrible, Terrible Clip Show (S2E22)

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When Riker gets some DNA in him, it’s not just from another romp on the holodeck. Unfortunately, the STD test comes back positive and it's a race against time to save his life. Dr. Pulaski hatches a plan to make Riker re-watch episodes of the show that would even make Captain Picard shudder. Is Chief O’Brien trying to give Pulaski a heart attack? Is Troi going to be ok when Riker’s most erotic dreams leave her in the lurch? Is the Captain ever going to recover from being bald-burned? It’s our most ill-advised episode yet, and the one that took by far the most work!

Ep 46: A Tat for Every Tit (S2E21)

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When the Enterprise engages in war games, their opponent is the biggest WOPR of them all: Commander Riker. Unfortunately for Captain Picard, Riker's team includes Ensign Crusher (the Boy?), and a threat from an unexpected foe. Who gave Picard a hickey? Is one of Riker's crew giving off Laura Dern vibes? What are the chances of getting a "Natural Yeager"? It's the episode with excellent finger dexterity!

Ep 45: Level 69 (S2E20)

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When unfrozen caveman Klingons are about to thaw out in a nice suburban neighborhood, Starfleet sends their sexiest emissary to try to talk Picard into a murder-based solution to the problem. Tensions rise when Worf can’t keep his cool around his lab partner, but Troi has some zit popping videos on her iPad that help everyone calm down. Is Data the ship’s best cock-blocker? Is K’Ehleyr going to get picked in The Bachelor? Is Worf a cigar store Indian? It’s the episode in which we try to get CBS to jerk our udders.

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Ep 44: Covered in a Fish (S2E19)

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When the Enterprise goes on Uber-duty for a couple of fish people, Lwaxana Troi drops by for a visit. Then, things somehow get even worse when Captain Picard bails on the show and hides in the holodeck. Is Troi's mom more destructive than Q? Is Pacifica the galaxy's Howard Johnson hotel? Why don't more guest stars get "The Tesh Treatment"? Plus, we announce a t-shirt contest! It's the episode that's an embodiment of an HR violation.

Ep 43: Diminished in Ways We Can't Even Imagine (S2E18)

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When Dr. Pulaski covers for Worf, he returns the favor by showing her what sex is to him. Meanwhile, the ship rescues some Space Irish from some kind of Space Blight before heading off to find their long lost cousins. How dangerous is a Klingon toilet plunger? Why is the transporter beaming people up with the ground underneath them? What are the downsides of phasering your own clone? It's the episode that forced us to bow to the absurd!

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