Jim Real, "The Master of Would You Rather," called me with exciting news. An old favorite of ours, Brent Weinbach, was in a Honda commercial. As if that wasn't enough, he was also destroying the audience at Lopez Tonight.

BRAVO, WEINBACH. BRAVO.

Our old friend Jasper Redd was on Lopez Tonight the other night, and he destroyed, as per usual. They don't get much better than JR.

When I'm watching Jasper, I find myself laughing at the setups nearly as much as the punchlines, though the Lopez audience wasn't quite on board to that extent. "Purchasing some Twizzlers at a local pharmacy" killed me.

"THE REEFER MAKES THEM CRAVE THE NEWTONS!"

Every time Will Forte comes on Conan as Ted Turner, I laugh at full volume in my house like an asshole. Full belly laughs. It is the funniest thing on television, and each new iteration gets funnier and funnier.

"WHEN I BOUGHT TBS IT WAS JUST A TRASH BAG FULL OF WRASSLIN' TAPES BEHIND A DAIRY QUEEN!"

"SHADDAP YOU WIG STAND!"

"YOU COULD BOUNCE A QUARTER OFF THAT WOMAN'S ASS, WHEREAS TODAY IT WOULD SINK... LIKE A PENNY IN LAVA!"