Judge John Hodgman Episode 224: Justice De-furred

Monte Belmonte

Is fresh best? How often should pet-soiled sheets be washed?

Rich Davis named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Rich!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.



Also surprised that there was

Also surprised that there was no mention of the environment or lint rollers. It's quite wasteful (of electricity, water, etc) to repeatedly over wash sheets if you happen to see animal hairs on them. Errant hairs can be easily rolled away with a lint roller.

Instead of overwashing everything, why not invest in a few large sheet/tapestries (like the ones at Urban Outfitters), and change those between washings? Then the sheets/comforter are safe during the day, there are less loads of laundry, and the bedding will last longer. You can also invest in a couple extra pillowcases to change more frequently -- to combat the cat hair, and keep that fresh-washed smell right where your nose is (linen sprays would also be helpful here).

I'm surprised that the

I'm surprised that the environmental impact of washing your sheets 3 times a week wasn't mentioned. I thought perhaps Judge Hodgman was leading into that by asking if the load was machine dryed or hung to dry but no dice.

Pet hair

Two words: lint roller

Very Related

This is why frequent sheet-washing is a good idea...

Agree about missing the point

I hope that the husband, Steve, is not a lawyer as he mishandled his case rather badly. He should have stated two things from the outset: #1 they own five sets of sheets in total and #2 he despises putting new sheets on the bed. Let's get #2 out of the way first. He's allowed to despise putting sheets on the bed. We all have tasks in our lives that we hate and if this is his, so be it. Now onto the fact that own five sets of sheets. Why it never occurred to anyone presenting nor hearing the case (yes, that means you, good Judge!) that right after Brenica(sp?) removed whatever set of sheets needing to be washed, she should immediately put a new, clean set of sheets on the bed, is very surprising to me. This eliminates the abhorant lack-of-sheets-on-bed state of affairs that Steve so dreads and gives the dirty sheets a chance to be washed and then placed in the back of the sheet queue. The only missing pieces of bedding are then the comforter / duvet cover and doggy blanket which one assumes are easily retrievable from the dryer and doesn't induce the same stomach-churning reaction from Steve. Unfortunately, this option was never explored. 30 lashes with a wet noodle for both the plaintiff and the good Judge (okay, 10 lashes for the good Judge).


Pretty much what I was thinking the whole time. I don't agree with the posters saying he should be grateful or should make the bed himself. He should make the bed himself at two week intervals, but all other times, she should remake the bed immediately after stripping it. No need for the Judge to get involved in other chore divisions, those weren't in the case. :)

Keep the animals off the bed

There is so much wrong with having animals in bed. Hygiene being number one. Also, intimacy is lost when sharing the bed with anything. We have cats and they sleep on top of the comforter at the foot of the bed (every 3-4 days) so the sheets are mostly fur free.

I have to side with the husband. Even though he should be helping with putting the sheets on, the wife is washing them WAY too often. Once a week is good enough.

Bottom line, don't sleep with animals under your comforter if the hair bothers you. It's gross. Grow up. Have a doggy bed on the floor.

Have you heard the joke about the bed? No?

That's because it hasn't been made up yet.
I win!

Grown ups?

In my opinion, you should be grateful that your wife is washing them so frequently. Stop being a baby, make the bed, man. Just do it yourself, you're a grown up now.

Tom Waits

With Judge John Hodgman bringing up the pretentiousness of Tom Waits, I have to throw this in. This production will be playing in Chicago soon at the Shakespeare Theater; it's a production of The Tempest with music by Tom Waits an magic by Teller.


Great episode, but missed the crux

I was a little disappointed that the issue of equitable household work distribution was missed. The husband came across like a real jerk, complaining about having to make the bed twice a month. The honorable judge missed the crux- the husband is a grown up, who can contribute to the household chores occasionally. Without ordering the husband to pitch in for ten minutes every other week, he is going to continue feeling entitled to his wife doing 100% of the chores on his timeline, and resentment is going to continue building around this issue.

Never share a bed with anything that can lick its own backside

Another fine episode, but I can't believe that the judge didn't challenge the guests about allowing pets onto their bed in the first place. It's gross! Why not cut out the middle man & just drag your comforter down the sidewalk every day, being sure to to pay special attention to any animal faeces you may find along the way? I don't own any pets, but just listening to this episode made me want to wash &/or burn my sheets.


You are absolutely right.