Judge John Hodgman Episode 26: The Toot Dispute


Jason's mom, Faith, argues that whenever he passes gas, he should proffer an "excuse me" to whomever is present (according to general social etiquette). Jason says he's an adult and as such, is allowed to do as he pleases. Should Faith butt out, or should Jason be held to her standards?

You may view the evidence after the jump, and as always, you may subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or through this RSS feed.

Jason's Evidence

(Submitted to illustrate Faith's "side agenda" of gaining more grandchildren.)

Exhibit A
A Valentine's card that he received from his mother.

Exhibit B
Two pictures that illustrate the length of Jason's hair at the time that his mother scheduled a haircut for him because "first impressions are important, and you need a girlfriend."

Exhibit C
Submitted post-case: a current photo of Jason.


Toot toot all aboard

I'll go on a date with him. I also had a whispy moustache some years back

i don't like the f word, but...

i really don't enjoy the word fart, but after the first few minutes, i couldn't help but laugh. p.s. minus the mustache picture, i think he's cute. if he were closer to me, i'd go on a date with him. he'll find himself someone to love (and vice versa). you keep me laughing, judge.


Toot Etiquette

I am assuming by the judge's apparently mild countenance and excessively careful diction that he is, if not ACTUALLY a WASP, aspires to be a WASP. (Also, he attended Yale which is where one goes if one is not admitted, as I was, to Amherst.) And a well-bred WASP like me would never say excuse me upon a gaseous emission from the lower tract, because it would call attention to the fact that an unmentionable event had taken place.

All good WASPs are trained to behave as if such things never happen to anyone. Failing that, if there are more than two persons in the room, the guilty party can always turn and glare at someone else in the room in an accusatory fashion. This is often most effective, when directed at a pet, preferably a dog, who is both a plausible culprit and unable to defend himself (and disinclined to do so anyway).

The mere utterance of words which acknowledge another type of utterance constitutes the most horrid breach of the WASP code. (And if the impossible does actually occur, it is the cause of broccoli, and never never of Southwestern foods which we also do not acknowledge.)

Samuel Kerr Lockhart
located in an overprivileged Northeastern suburb
in the wealthiest county of my wealthy state

Definitely Liverpudlian-esque

I have to agree the current Jason appears very "Scouser"-esque. As always, another well done, side-splitting session, Judge! Gotta give Mom creds for the creative and gutsy card move. My husband's first wife used to co-ordinate clothes with circles, squares and triangles, but b/c my husband can only see black, white and shades of grey. I do not go that far, but warn him if he does clash. Jason appears to be manners blind, maybe he is color blind also?

Although this episode was

Although this episode was hilarious and well judged, (Faith especially was hilarious) I can not believe that both the Judge and Baliff Jesse Thorn missed the opportunity to sentence Jason to reading a week's worth of the excellent website, PutThisOn.com, so that he may perhaps gain an interest in clothing himself 'a bit dressier'. Synergy missed guys!

Show's Dedication

Was that for the Vernon Reid?

Is it just me, or does

Is it just me, or does current Jason kind of look like a 1960s-era Liverpudlian pop artist?

The Toot Dispute episode

I haven't laughed so much for ages. Great episode Judge! Got really edgy a couple of times keep up the good work y'eroner.

Excuse me.

I have known Jason for a long time and while he does say "excuse me" after farting, he never truly means it.


Delightful, as always, but I'm disappointed that there was no Seal and Crofts-like rendition of "Summer Keys" anywhere in the podcast...

Vernon Reid?

Hey-- I'm old and love me some Living Colour... but I'm confused about this dedication. Did I miss some sad news? Or is His Honor just rocking out with one of my heroes of yesteryear?

The Subject Matter

I liked the podcast, though the subject matter was in poor taste.

Eric M

Not surprised

If your lookin for some high brow cases might I suggest actual court?
I don't understand some people. Mainly ^this guy.

Jason shouldn't be lookin' for a girlfriend to do his cookin'

He should have a boy thats good lookin'.