One Bad Mother Episode 134: The Santa Talk, plus guest Candace Wahl

One Bad Mother
Candace Wahl

Don’t listen with your kids because Biz and Theresa talk about Santa this week! Are we LYING to our kids? Or, creating a joyful and magical fantasy world for them? Regardless, this is a great chance to talk about all the different ways people celebrate the holiday. Plus, we invent a new holiday this week! The first ever "Step Back Day" will be Monday, December 21st! HOW WILL YOU CELEBRATE? And, we talk with Candace Wahl of the blog Our Misconception about infertility and hard choices.

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Show Music
Opening theme: Summon the Rawk, Kevin MacLeod (
Ones and Zeros, Awesome, Beehive Sessions (, also avail on iTunes)
Mom Song, Adira Amram, Hot Jams For Teens (, available on iTunes)
Bright, Echosmith, Talking Dreams, ( also available on iTunes)
Closing music: Mama Blues, Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans


Celebrating Christmas, minus Santa

My husband and I decided to not pretend that Santa was real. I was worried about how it would go, since I didn't know anyone who celebrated Christmas without also doing the Santa thing. Our kids are three and five now, and so far it's gone well, but it's been...interesting. My oldest says that Santa isn't real, but then says "he's just a regular guy...who dresses up in a red suit and flies around giving presents to kids." Or recently she decided that Santa is real if you believe in him, but not if you don't. She also wanted to get "presents from Santa" this year (I think she just wanted more presents), but we negotiated with her that we could just say "Look what Santa brought!" even though she knew that the presents were from us. Early on, we used what we called "the Batman principle"--we can talk about Batman and read stories about him without pointing out that he's not real, so we did the same thing with Santa. But once our oldest started asking us straight up, "Is Santa real?", we said no, and explained that partly it was because we always wanted to tell her the truth. And then immediately followed it with, "but don't tell your friends", so yeah, that felt weird. But I've been happy that I haven't had to make things up (I'm not skilled in that department), or answer for all the stuff intrinsic to Santa, like why Santa gives some kids more presents than others, or the bad/good kid mentality, which doesn't fit well with how we parent.

doggy eyes

Our dog just had to have eye drops and ultimately surgery for a migrated lens--it's so much to deal with, good luck! You're being a great dog mommy.