Travis McElroy joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of Travis's new fancy (and possibly deadly) slippers he got for his trip to the Magic Castle and how it adds to his fall aesthetic of "Rogue Wizard," the time Travis's dad was frozen into a block of ice as a promotion for a car dealership, and a new memory that Jordan recently unearthed about his dad. Plus, everyone nominates someone they'd like to see as a non-canonical Doctor Who and then pinpoints the most prestigious or historic place they've taken a dump.

Hey, sorry about the title on this one. We really don't have an excuse. All we can say is that it's not nonsense words -- we have a nice, long discussion about the topic described. There really was no other option.

Suggested talking points: Talkin' Dino, Pizza Water, Sprayzer Tag, The Fate of Davis, Claw Malfunction, Workplace Sound Pranks

When Ghosts and Gimme’s team up to take over the DMV, initially only the Dims will support their cause. But when the Defiant starts to drain its supply of time travel particles, the Chief rolls a three-sided dice. What are good demands when you’ve got that big hostage energy? Are hippies weird or high? Where’s the soot? It’s the episode we recorded on our way into the eight figure club!

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Chris Gethard joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of the crazy magazine Chris used to write for hunting down supernatural stories in New Jersey, the recent commercial Jordan saw that sold him on cooking up some Spam, the emotional conversations Chris has had with his father about his career through the years, and the time Chris frustrated a dominatrix with his notoriously small and inverted nipples.

Chris's new book, Lose Well, is out now!

The time for fence-sitting has come to an end. We must all now decide between the two ghoulish, mind-poisoning animal companions that will bring our hearts and homes one step closer to Hell. This decision is too important to goof up. Follow your heart.

Suggested talking points: Choppa Papa, Meats, The World's Two Most Horrible Pets, Big Earther, Cookie Punch, Christmas Doll

When a freak transporter accident disappears Commander Sisko, Dr. Bashir and Dax, Chief O’brien is a little concerned. But when the away team appears at a critical time in the past, the death of a crucial historical figure has them scrambling to save the timeline. Is Brenner Information Systems a part of the Terminator movie universe? What’s the street value of a clown costume? How do Ferengi eulogize each other? It’s the episode that has a really cool tribal armband tattoo that we’d love to show you.

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Kristen Studard, Stephanie Escajeda, Paul Foxcroft and Helen Duff join host, Dave Holmes for lost whale antics, terrible sexy costumes, and made up holiday festivities.
Kristen Studard wants to plug Dance Dance Party Party and Who Cares About the Rock Hall? and recommends Dina's episode of Heavyweight and Karaoke by Big Freedia.

Stephanie Escajeda wants to plug her Twitter @stephescajeda and recommends So You're Going Bald by Julius Sharpe.

Paul Foxcroft wants to plug Hello from the Magic Tavern and recommends @babyjesusfox on Instagram.

Helen Duff wants to plug her upcoming tour dates and recommends the Joan and Jericha podcast.

And finally, Dave Holmes is on Twitter @DaveHolmes and would like to recommend Joanna Lumley's various adventures.

You can let us know what you think of International Waters and suggest guests through our Facebook group or on Twitter.

Written by Riley Silverman and John-Luke Roberts, recorded at MaxFunHQ in LA and GuiltFreePost in London, produced by Laura Swisher and Christian Dueñas.

Virginia Jones joins Jordan and Jesse on this special sporktacular episode to talk about the horrifying audition notices she gets that are very specific about their pubic hair requirements, the truly terrifying crime-robbing that Jordan experienced this week and how it would be dramatically different if it happened last week, and the kaiju-centric museum exhibit that saved Jesse's weekend outing with his daughter. Plus, Virginia dazzles everyone with her mathematical Dracula facts and a trick to foil vampires with a handful of rice.

Welp, I guess this is unofficially our second Halloween episode, because we are ding-dongs who are incapable of looking at a calendar before recording our chart-topping advice podcast. It's like having two Babadooks for the price of one!

Suggested talking points: Johnny English 3 Watch, Secret Spectrum, Sentient Chairs, Zoo Busking, Nightmare Burger, Teacher Cuss Tickets, New Birthdays, Munch Squad Jr.

When a couple of the crew welcome their long-absent lovers back, everyone’s favorite ambassador to hate crashes the festival. But when the polarity of the station’s boners is reversed, only the passionless Doctor Bashir can save the day. How much coffee should you drink before sex? Is Bajor’s spiritual homogeneity the product of a horrifying and bloody religious war? Is Quark awesome at canasta? It’s just another episode from the human interest story of Star Trek podcasts.

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