Judge John Hodgman Episode 216: An Alchemic Clark Bar of Delight


Judge Hodgman tells us what's wrong and what's right! Is ice cream actually "candy"? Should you go to your mom's 60th birthday party? Is it ok to leave used snot rags lying around?

And an update about the Brocavore Brothers! You can read about them eating Duck Dynasty brand beef jerky here, sent to them by one of our listeners.

If you missed this whole thing and don't understand who the Brocavore brothers are, click here for the episode or here for our last update.

You can help them complete Judge John Hodgman's court-mandated dalliances.
If you wish to send Moxie or Cheez Waffies to brothers Edmund and Garth, please ship to:

Cairncrest Farm
156 Talbot Rd
West Winfield, NY 13491


"The best goodbyes are short. Adieu." --Kasper Gutman

Thanks for mentioning Robert Altman's The Long Goodbye--way underrated, with a better ending than the original novel. However, as a detective-fiction pedant, I must point out that Elliot Gould plays Philip Marlowe, not Sam Spade, in the movie.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner

How do you present an issue where a parent calls his daughter "Baby" and not make a reference to Dirty Dancing?! So disappointed.

Jake the Dog Quote

The quote is "Sucking at something is the first step to becoming sorta good at something." I know because I really like that quote. I like it so much I illustrated it.

Judge, Although I *do* think

Although I *do* think the tissue thing is gross, I can empathize. Growing up with a grandmother who grew up during The Depression, I have always been scolded for throwing away a tissue without using it more than once. It became a habit for my mother and, in turn, became a habit for me. It is engrained in my mind that a tissue must be used more than once before it warrants becoming trash.

I'm working on it.


Your irritation at the variation in spelling for the name Caitlin is not unique. You are not alone. Just today I came across this: http://annavations.tumblr.com/post/22560231400/46-universal-name-spellin...


I have purchased Moxie for the bros and will send it soon!

Derek and his Wife

Your Honor,

As someone with a wife who stays home to look after our 2 year old son, I often find used facial tissues on counter-tops as well. Why does she not take the time to throw them away? BECAUSE SHE IS BUSY TAKING CARE OF OUR SON. Having occasionally watched himself for a whole day, I can understand why she would be too occupied and/or tired to throw away every piece of trash. Do you know what I do when I see these used tissues? I throw them away myself, because it is the least I can do for the woman who not only choose to have a child with me, but also has made the raising of that child her primary occupation. I plan on formally appealing your decision to the court of Mrs. Judge John Hodgman.

That is all.

Good luck with that. Do you

Good luck with that. Do you wipe your wife's nose too?

Milk Duds

To which category would e.g. Milk Duds belong, considering the Judge has excluded them from being candy (and are not bars in any sense)?


Always enjoy the docket clearing episodes, and for some reason the introduction this week had me laughing out loud in the street.

T-shirts ideas keep popping up on the podcast. Could we get one that simply says "This is the sound of a gavel" ? That would increase my quality of life immeasurably.